Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because so many of you have convinced yourselves that your kids are special learners who need special attention, accommodations, extra time, tutors and trainers and specialists, etc. and can’t face up to the fact that your kid is just...average. You are setting them up for colossal failure when they have been overachieving their entire lives with the help of a whole team of specialists and one day they have to be grown ups all by their little selves.

Oh dear, did you wander in from the wrong forum embittered spinster?
You really should have another go at learning to read. I don't think anyone here said their kid was special. But a lot of people have said they are unable to do the normal daily homework help with their kids.
You are a horrible person. But you know that don't you.

No, I just call ‘em like I see ‘em. My kids’ classes are full of kids operating way above their abilities solely resting on the support of a team of tutors and other learning specialists, getting extra time for exams, etc. You’re not doing your kids any favors.

I hired a tutor in college when I needed to and that was twenty years ago. And I was perfectly successful down the road, in the work force.

No reason the support team can't continue if needed.

I know several families who don't want to stretch for private school but do enrichment tutoring instead. It can be a nice balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More parents have more cash than time.
Outsourced parenting.

I have plenty of time, but I don't know a thing about AP Calc BC.

Seriously, sometimes I can't even figure out my elementary kids' homework, especially when it's something like the lattice method that I never learned. Some things I've forgotten, some things I was taught differently, and I'm not good about the "explain your work" sections since I never had to do that as a kid. I'm happy to parent but I outsource education.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because so many of you have convinced yourselves that your kids are special learners who need special attention, accommodations, extra time, tutors and trainers and specialists, etc. and can’t face up to the fact that your kid is just...average. You are setting them up for colossal failure when they have been overachieving their entire lives with the help of a whole team of specialists and one day they have to be grown ups all by their little selves.

Oh dear, did you wander in from the wrong forum embittered spinster?
You really should have another go at learning to read. I don't think anyone here said their kid was special. But a lot of people have said they are unable to do the normal daily homework help with their kids.
You are a horrible person. But you know that don't you.

No, I just call ‘em like I see ‘em. My kids’ classes are full of kids operating way above their abilities solely resting on the support of a team of tutors and other learning specialists, getting extra time for exams, etc. You’re not doing your kids any favors.

In my NYC suburb, it's very common for children starting in elementary to have weekly tutors for academic enrichment. They help with test prep, reviewing material that was confusing, creating study guides, planning out homework for the week etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because competition is stiff.

FWIW - my kids don't have tutors. Never did, unless you count me as the parent.

OP here. That’s reassuring. How annoying to “have” to get a tutor in order to keep up with work. Unless there’s a academic disability, of course.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because so many of you have convinced yourselves that your kids are special learners who need special attention, accommodations, extra time, tutors and trainers and specialists, etc. and can’t face up to the fact that your kid is just...average. You are setting them up for colossal failure when they have been overachieving their entire lives with the help of a whole team of specialists and one day they have to be grown ups all by their little selves.

Oh dear, did you wander in from the wrong forum embittered spinster?
You really should have another go at learning to read. I don't think anyone here said their kid was special. But a lot of people have said they are unable to do the normal daily homework help with their kids.
You are a horrible person. But you know that don't you.

DP. Reading through this thread shows that a big part of the problem is a lot of kids are in the wrong class, harder classes than they should be. Which is the parents' fault

Anonymous wrote:Because so many of you have convinced yourselves that your kids are special learners who need special attention, accommodations, extra time, tutors and trainers and specialists, etc. and can’t face up to the fact that your kid is just...average. You are setting them up for colossal failure when they have been overachieving their entire lives with the help of a whole team of specialists and one day they have to be grown ups all by their little selves.

Oh dear, did you wander in from the wrong forum embittered spinster?
You really should have another go at learning to read. I don't think anyone here said their kid was special. But a lot of people have said they are unable to do the normal daily homework help with their kids.
You are a horrible person. But you know that don't you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a middle schooler so I’m not there yet, but I’ve heard “everyone” has a tutor. Is this because the material isn’t being effectively taught in the classroom? Is it so students perform well on standardized tests? Is it to get ahead in a subject matter? It doesn’t seem limited to struggling students... Everyone & their mother has a tutor and it’s not cheap!

At my DS's school, algebra is taught at a higher level than I remember it + a lot more homework. It's difficult for him to keep up without extra instruction. That may not be the case for all students, but DS just doesn't have the quick processing speed to do well without a lot of practice and instruction.

pp here-- also want to point out that college is particularly brutal for kids who enter without strong skills in writing and math. Many of us may have discovered this fact through our own experiences and want to spare our kids as much pain as possible.

Extra tutoring (at least for our family) is focused on areas that critical to college success and reducing unnecessary stress. It's really not about "getting ahead" - it's preparing my kid for the leap of college expectations. There is nothing worse than becoming interested in a career path and discovering that you do not have the foundational skills to pursue it. If my child is limited by talent/capability so be it- but I don't want him limited by a lack of preparedness.

Because the classes are big. We’ve used math tutors since late elementary. With 30 kids in a class, teacher just can’t provide enough support and we want to make sure kids are truly understanding the concepts.

We are late 40s and have forgotten all the math we learned so we need outside help.

Anonymous wrote:I have a middle schooler so I’m not there yet, but I’ve heard “everyone” has a tutor. Is this because the material isn’t being effectively taught in the classroom? Is it so students perform well on standardized tests? Is it to get ahead in a subject matter? It doesn’t seem limited to struggling students... Everyone & their mother has a tutor and it’s not cheap!

At my DS's school, algebra is taught at a higher level than I remember it + a lot more homework. It's difficult for him to keep up without extra instruction. That may not be the case for all students, but DS just doesn't have the quick processing speed to do well without a lot of practice and instruction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More parents have more cash than time.
Outsourced parenting.

I have plenty of time, but I don't know a thing about AP Calc BC.

OP here. If they don’t understand a concept, isn’t the teacher available to explain it again or help them in class?

Hilarious. No, the teacher often is not available to explain it AGAIN. The advanced math classes move fast.

They move slower than when I was a kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got a math tutor (high school) because the math teacher doesn't teach. She just hands out packets and expects the kids to teach themselves in small groups. And, as a PP noted, there is no textbook.

This is the norm nowadays.
The teacher explains for about 5 minutes and hands out packages.
Students either learn by online YouTube teachers or get a tutor.

+2
It’s really disgraceful. My kids have never been strong in math and it would help so much if their teachers would actually TEACH. They go to them for help during study hall and after school, and all the teacher says is, “Well how do YOU think you should do this?” Incredible. No teaching is going on at all.

Because so many of you have convinced yourselves that your kids are special learners who need special attention, accommodations, extra time, tutors and trainers and specialists, etc. and can’t face up to the fact that your kid is just...average. You are setting them up for colossal failure when they have been overachieving their entire lives with the help of a whole team of specialists and one day they have to be grown ups all by their little selves.

I can’t speak to the country as a whole but I live in an area with many, many educated parents; my kid is in 4th grade and I think I will need a tutor very soon. Here is my take:
Influx of educated families who spend a lot of effort advancing their kids - hence demand for more advanced classes - other parents try to not be left behind because regular classes are just meh, so they get tutors;
Increased college competition due to influx of educated families - hence the need to get ahead for all others as well;
Advanced is viewed by curriculum developers as faster paced, not more thorough;
Teachers are stretched thin.

Something changed in the curriculum in 4th grade, too - in 3rd my kid was regarded as a “math whiz” by teacher; now he does not have enough time to master his skills.
He is on grade level but nothing more, according to tests.