My wife gained 40+ pounds since we were married, she now weighs more than me. I am completely not attracted. Sorry but if I wanted a fat girl I would have dated/married a fat girl. We still have regular sex, because what other option do I have?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've gained more than that. Our sex life is the same it ever was.

DWs weight has fluctuated several times over our 12 year marriage. Hasn’t changed my desire for her at all.

Your desire for her or your desire for sex? You don't need to answer that question but I suppose it would be different depending on who you ask.

PP here she still the sexiest woman in the world. Killer body.

DH has gained probably about 50 lbs. since the beginning of our relationship (over 10 years ago).

We average 3-4x/week and have a mutually enjoyable sex life. I'm still really attracted to him. I don't feel that it limits our positions, we just go at it, and his "performance" remains great.

In recent times he lost about 10-15 lbs., which helped with snoring. In addition to being a health concern, the snoring was a problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you still have a satisfying sex life? Are there any relationships that haven’t changed because of a major weight gain since the wedding.

We do. I still love the guy. Do I worry about his health? Of course. And he's doing his best to address it. However, people aren't projects. I'll take him any way I can have him, because not having him sounds awful.

This is the nicest thing I read on DCUM in a long time. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

I gained weight because of a major depressive episode and untreated PTSD. Being appealing to anyone did not concern me at all. Hell, even living wasn't appealing to me.

I feel better now, but this kind of black and white shallow outlook on life really irritates me.

Anonymous wrote:Do you still have a satisfying sex life? Are there any relationships that haven’t changed because of a major weight gain since the wedding.

We do. I still love the guy. Do I worry about his health? Of course. And he's doing his best to address it. However, people aren't projects. I'll take him any way I can have him, because not having him sounds awful.

I could gain 50 lbs from my wedding day and would hardly be over weight according to my BMI.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve slept with slender guys and heavier guys, and yes, those big bellies do get in the way and limit certain positions.

Exactly.

^ sorry. I clearly misunderstood. Thanks for clarifying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Yes. Anyone with self-respect would feel properly ashamed of any changes in their body deemed unacceptable by their significant other.

Let's not get carried away. OP stated 50+ pounds in the title. 50lbs is a lot different than your usual 10-20lb fluctuations.

Oh. 50 pounds? I don’t know how such a person could walk without being buried under a mountain of shame! If they respect themselves, look happy, and like sex, then they probably do have mental illness!

I'm not sure telling anyone to be ashamed of themselves or that they have mental illness helps anyone. What are you trying to accomplish by saying these things?

I was being sarcastic.

The people saying that all people who are overweight or obese have no self respect and/or an underlying mental illness are ridiculous.

You can be happy, healthy, high functioning, love yourself, love your spouse, and still be overweight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've gained more than that. Our sex life is the same it ever was.

DWs weight has fluctuated several times over our 12 year marriage. Hasn’t changed my desire for her at all.

Your desire for her or your desire for sex? You don't need to answer that question but I suppose it would be different depending on who you ask.

I’ve slept with slender guys and heavier guys, and yes, those big bellies do get in the way and limit certain positions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Uh, yeah, no. I gained weight because of constant emotional abuse + PPD so severe I was hospitalized.

Actually, we all gain weight for the same reason, eating too much and not burning enough calories. The other stuff you mentioned can lead one to eat too much and not get enough exercise. Emotional abuse and PPD done necessarily lead to weight gain.

And they did in my case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a big weight gain shows a lack of self respect. That is really what is unappealing.

Yes. Anyone with self-respect would feel properly ashamed of any changes in their body deemed unacceptable by their significant other.

Let's not get carried away. OP stated 50+ pounds in the title. 50lbs is a lot different than your usual 10-20lb fluctuations.

Oh. 50 pounds? I don’t know how such a person could walk without being buried under a mountain of shame! If they respect themselves, look happy, and like sex, then they probably do have mental illness!

I'm not sure telling anyone to be ashamed of themselves or that they have mental illness helps anyone. What are you trying to accomplish by saying these things?

Anonymous wrote:I've gained more than that. Our sex life is the same it ever was.

DWs weight has fluctuated several times over our 12 year marriage. Hasn’t changed my desire for her at all.