I would look in silver spring to minimize time on I-495. Bethesda and friendship heights increase his time on I-495 which could easily add 30-60 minutes to his already long commute. Do you commute with metro? Check his driving distance from stations north west of DC. Also, if you would consider driving also, see Columbia / laurel and those areas that would give him quick access to I-95.

https://www.redfin.com/MD/New-Carrollton/6101-Lamont-Dr-20784/home/11055773

Something like this

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Carrollton_station

Actually walking distance new Carrollton works

Anonymous wrote:OP- what is your end goal, and how does this set up your family to achieve it? Continued professional growth for DH, if so how long does he have to this? Is this the only job he can get and it is necessary? A chance to make/save a lot of $$ in a short amount of time? Your spouse hates his job and will take anything to get out of it? Or by "relocation" do you mean he is being relocated and can take that while looking for something back in the DC area?

This is a hellish commute for one or both of you, and/or puts all kid related issues on one person.

And a almost 2 hour commute each way, regardless of mode, is draining.

I ask myself the same questions I replied to one of the other comments, but my job is more secure with better benefits. DH's job is not as secure (and benefits suck) but has much better career potential (and he actually really enjoys his work). Unfortunately, it is the only job he can get at the moment, as he is in banking (he currently works in NY). He had tried so hard a couple of years ago to get into the government (Fed, OCC, Treasury etc), but without much luck because of a hiring freeze with the financial regulatory jobs. Plus there aren't that many private banks in the DC area.

He is voluntarily transferring to the Delaware office (with his current company, which started moving most of the offices to different states for cost-saving purposes, including to Texas and Delaware) because it's at least closer to DC.

But to your last question, yes, DH understands this won't be sustainable so he says he will do it for maybe 2-3 years and reassess. Meanwhile he will look for other opportunities but I don't think he's going to be too aggressive about it - at least not yet

If you do by BWI train stop or Amtrak stop maybe not bad.

Yeah after your updates, I think I'd live close to DC and get your DH a studio in DE for the week. He drives up early Monday morning, comes home Friday whenever (which sounds like hell to drive, I'd train).

It will be an expensive year of commuting. Very expensive. So I'd make sure both your salaries and jobs are worth it. If his move is maybe forever, you need to look for a job somewhere else.

This seems like literally the worst return-to-work situation possible for a former SAHP.

Maybe you can get some advisement about your career field in the jobs forum, so that you can see whether finding a job closer to or in Delaware is possible (if your husband's job will indeed be in Delaware for the longterm)?

Anonymous wrote:Greenbelt or New Carrolton. It's near 495/95 which will be helpful for your husband, and you can take the train in

So yes, there is Amtrak between New Carrollton and DE. I don't know anything about the neighborhood there, is it safe? If it was just me and my husband, it won't be as big of a concern, but with a child it's a whole different story...

Anonymous wrote:Why not use this as an opportunity to move to a (much) less expensive area (Delaware) and have the time to raise your child, perhaps as a -- gasp-- full time mother? I would have given anything for that chance.

I would if I could - I actually JUST returned to my DC job from being a full-time stay-at-home-mom I wish I could have done longer but due to various reasons (financial, job security being the top 2), I had to return. My husband's job is actually in NY (and we all moved to NY during my unpaid leave) so now that I'm back at work, I've been commuting between DC and NY every week. Surprisingly, it hasn't been too bad: I was itching to work again/we live in Jersey City, NJ, so I take Amtrak from Newark, which saves me time to get into Manhattan/train ride is so comfortable and I have a few solid hours of uninterrupted me-time.

For me, the career prospect isn't THAT great (plus, I've gotten less ambitious over the years, as my priority now is my LO) but the job is good with great benefits and flexibility to work from home occasionally. For my husband, the career prospect is much better and he really enjoys his work, but it doesn't give him much flexibility in terms of working from home (he is in banking).

So yeah, I think we just have to find out what the BEST option is out of all the BAD ones out there...

You should find a job in DE or he should find a job in DC. I wouldn't recommend that commute.

How long do you anticipate this work situation?
I really think he gets a studio for the work week.

Anonymous wrote:You need to move north of baltimore before the tunnel. It is hellacious driving during rush hour, but once you get past the bridge over the sesquehana it is better. You're better off commuting into Baltimore and taking the MARC into DC.

You have all terrible options, but your husband will be spending a TON more time in the car than just 1.5-2 hours per day if you're in DC. 3-4 hours each way is more like it.

North of Baltimore is also pushing 2 hours each way to drive to the train, ride to union station, switch to metro, and walk to the office. I definitely wouldn’t do it with a child in daycare because the day would be really long from drop off to pick up and it would be incredibly hard to get there quickly in the middle of the day if the kid is sick or injured. Marc trains don’t run very often outside of rush hour.

You need to move north of baltimore before the tunnel. It is hellacious driving during rush hour, but once you get past the bridge over the sesquehana it is better. You're better off commuting into Baltimore and taking the MARC into DC.

You have all terrible options, but your husband will be spending a TON more time in the car than just 1.5-2 hours per day if you're in DC. 3-4 hours each way is more like it.

OP - is this a new job or has he been transferred? Is there any chance he was transferred in an effort to get him to find his way out of the org? If so I would re evaluate any moves.

I think your best options are Baltimore suburb/au pair or he takes the train & keeps a contingency car in DE in case of emergency, last option would be he keeps a midweek apartment and only comes home on weekends.

Anonymous wrote:Why not use this as an opportunity to move to a (much) less expensive area (Delaware) and have the time to raise your child, perhaps as a -- gasp-- full time mother? I would have given anything for that chance.

This would be the best for your children and your family life.