You need to go get tested for everything! HIV is bad but you also need syphilis, clamydia, etc. I am really disturbed you don't get tested between partners.

OP, I am a public health professional and worked in HIV/AIDS for years. The likelihood that you contracted HIV via heterosexual sex (with a man who was presumably not bi or an IV drug user) in this country is very, very low. You should get tested to put your mind at ease - but you really, really do not have anything to worry about with regard to HIV. As others have said, however, you should seek support for your anxiety.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a blood transfusion in the 80s about six months before they started the routine screening of blood for HIV. Instead of worrying about it for years, I got tested. Seems to me that a simple test is more effective than worry.

I’m stranded at my parents’ in the middle of nowhere. Will have to wait until I get back to Dc to go buy a kit from CVS and test. Meanwhile the anxiety is literally making me sick.

You had 5 years to get tested and you still haven't done it...

I didn’t think about it until now

For the future, you should get tested yearly for Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV when you go to the gyn. Otherwise, you have potentially put everyone else you had sex with in the last 5 years at risk too. Part of being a responsible sex partner is getting tested for STIs including HIV regularly unless/until you are in a relationship where both partners are 100 percent monogamous.

But yes, definitely get a home kit when you get close enough to a CVS, Walgreen's, etc. Within 20 minutes you'll know. Until then try not to stress too much.

Actually, per ACOG, women 13-64 only need to be tested once in their lifetimes, and that is usually done during pregnancy just to confirm.

That's either misunderstanding or misrepresenting what ACOG says. Here is the link to the full recommendations: https://m.acog.org/Clinical-Guidance-and-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Gynecologic-Practice/Routine-Human-Immunodeficiency-Virus-Screening

It is AT LEAST once in a lifetime but more if you have any risk factors, which include having a new sexual partner since the last time you were tested. And that repeat testing should be offered to all women even in the absence of identified risk factors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a blood transfusion in the 80s about six months before they started the routine screening of blood for HIV. Instead of worrying about it for years, I got tested. Seems to me that a simple test is more effective than worry.

I’m stranded at my parents’ in the middle of nowhere. Will have to wait until I get back to Dc to go buy a kit from CVS and test. Meanwhile the anxiety is literally making me sick.

You had 5 years to get tested and you still haven't done it...

I didn’t think about it until now

For the future, you should get tested yearly for Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV when you go to the gyn. Otherwise, you have potentially put everyone else you had sex with in the last 5 years at risk too. Part of being a responsible sex partner is getting tested for STIs including HIV regularly unless/until you are in a relationship where both partners are 100 percent monogamous.

But yes, definitely get a home kit when you get close enough to a CVS, Walgreen's, etc. Within 20 minutes you'll know. Until then try not to stress too much.

Actually, per ACOG, women 13-64 only need to be tested once in their lifetimes, and that is usually done during pregnancy just to confirm.

PP who mentioned yearly testing: 1. I get asked every year, do I guess it depends on your doctor and risk factors. 2. I'll have to look at the ACOG recommendations but that seems unfortunate and outdated if true. Heterosexual women are definitely still at risk for HIV It is lesbian women who are extremely low risk. Being on the receivi end of vaginal sex is the 2nd highest risk activity after anal sex.

As a personal example - many years ago I was in a relationship with a man. We always used condoms. He and his ex girlfriend did not. It turned out he was HIV+ and didn't know it at the time. She got HIV, I didn't. This was before the age of home testing. He was very healthy at the time and only got tested because he was having a minor dental surgery done.

Also, for those who are in the dating world and not in a long term/monogamous relationship, yes people should absolutely get tested once per year for all STIs including HIV and at a minimum before having unprotected sex for the first time with a new partner. Testing is responsible for you and your partners.

And for the OP - it's unlikely you have HIV, but even if you do, it's very treatable nowadays and is possible to live a normal life and even have babies when you are HIV+ if you are on treatment and have an undetectable viral load.

I hope everything works out for you!

I feel like an HIV scare would be having sex with someone who had HIV, not a frat douche from college. I mean I suppose a frat douche could have HIV. But I think it would be caught by now.

Anonymous wrote:I know you can be asymptomatic, but I would think something would have flagged you for further review by an HIV-care doctor by now. Bad blood work, lesions or rashes of some kind, constant yeast infections or other STDs...I also believe it is rare to be asymptomatic, isn't it?

Do you know the guy? If you know him...I mean honestly, he may be a slut or an asshole, but I doubt he's TRYING to get a disease. Unless he has sex with men or is a junkie it's probably fine.

OP - Yes, I knew him. He slept around a lot, but other than that he was highly functional and successful. I remember asking him why he didn't use condoms and he was like "I don't have anything and I wouldn't have sex with someone who had something" so he is 100% a douche but I was the idiot 22 year old who fell for that shit.

Anonymous wrote:Op, you were most likely tested when you were pregnant and didn’t even realize it. This is about your anxiety, not hiv. Go look for some meditation apps and download them to your phone, and work on quieting your mind. You do not have HIV.

OP here and I have actually never been pregnant. I am in my late 20s; the sexual incident I'm referring to would have been in college.

Op, you were most likely tested when you were pregnant and didn’t even realize it. This is about your anxiety, not hiv. Go look for some meditation apps and download them to your phone, and work on quieting your mind. You do not have HIV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a blood transfusion in the 80s about six months before they started the routine screening of blood for HIV. Instead of worrying about it for years, I got tested. Seems to me that a simple test is more effective than worry.

I’m stranded at my parents’ in the middle of nowhere. Will have to wait until I get back to Dc to go buy a kit from CVS and test. Meanwhile the anxiety is literally making me sick.

You had 5 years to get tested and you still haven't done it...

I didn’t think about it until now

For the future, you should get tested yearly for Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV when you go to the gyn. Otherwise, you have potentially put everyone else you had sex with in the last 5 years at risk too. Part of being a responsible sex partner is getting tested for STIs including HIV regularly unless/until you are in a relationship where both partners are 100 percent monogamous.

But yes, definitely get a home kit when you get close enough to a CVS, Walgreen's, etc. Within 20 minutes you'll know. Until then try not to stress too much.

Actually, per ACOG, women 13-64 only need to be tested once in their lifetimes, and that is usually done during pregnancy just to confirm.

Yeah, I've never been offered an HIV test. I feel like someone asked me once if I'd ever had sex with a gay man and I said "Uh, not to my knowledge" and then they asked if I had sex with intravenous drug users and I said "Also not to my knowledge," and they were like "Great, we'll just be checking for HPV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea today"

Anonymous wrote:Chances of having HIV are super low. However chances that you have anxiety that needs treatment are near 100%.

+1

I know you can be asymptomatic, but I would think something would have flagged you for further review by an HIV-care doctor by now. Bad blood work, lesions or rashes of some kind, constant yeast infections or other STDs...I also believe it is rare to be asymptomatic, isn't it?

Do you know the guy? If you know him...I mean honestly, he may be a slut or an asshole, but I doubt he's TRYING to get a disease. Unless he has sex with men or is a junkie it's probably fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a blood transfusion in the 80s about six months before they started the routine screening of blood for HIV. Instead of worrying about it for years, I got tested. Seems to me that a simple test is more effective than worry.

I’m stranded at my parents’ in the middle of nowhere. Will have to wait until I get back to Dc to go buy a kit from CVS and test. Meanwhile the anxiety is literally making me sick.

You had 5 years to get tested and you still haven't done it...

I didn’t think about it until now

This is all the proof you need that your thinking is the problem.

Get your anxiety treated, OP. You don’t have HIV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a blood transfusion in the 80s about six months before they started the routine screening of blood for HIV. Instead of worrying about it for years, I got tested. Seems to me that a simple test is more effective than worry.

I’m stranded at my parents’ in the middle of nowhere. Will have to wait until I get back to Dc to go buy a kit from CVS and test. Meanwhile the anxiety is literally making me sick.

You had 5 years to get tested and you still haven't done it...

I didn’t think about it until now

For the future, you should get tested yearly for Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV when you go to the gyn. Otherwise, you have potentially put everyone else you had sex with in the last 5 years at risk too. Part of being a responsible sex partner is getting tested for STIs including HIV regularly unless/until you are in a relationship where both partners are 100 percent monogamous.

But yes, definitely get a home kit when you get close enough to a CVS, Walgreen's, etc. Within 20 minutes you'll know. Until then try not to stress too much.

Actually, per ACOG, women 13-64 only need to be tested once in their lifetimes, and that is usually done during pregnancy just to confirm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a blood transfusion in the 80s about six months before they started the routine screening of blood for HIV. Instead of worrying about it for years, I got tested. Seems to me that a simple test is more effective than worry.

I’m stranded at my parents’ in the middle of nowhere. Will have to wait until I get back to Dc to go buy a kit from CVS and test. Meanwhile the anxiety is literally making me sick.

You had 5 years to get tested and you still haven't done it...

I didn’t think about it until now

For the future, you should get tested yearly for Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV when you go to the gyn. Otherwise, you have potentially put everyone else you had sex with in the last 5 years at risk too. Part of being a responsible sex partner is getting tested for STIs including HIV regularly unless/until you are in a relationship where both partners are 100 percent monogamous.

But yes, definitely get a home kit when you get close enough to a CVS, Walgreen's, etc. Within 20 minutes you'll know. Until then try not to stress too much.

I have never in my life been offered an HIV test. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are done when I get my pap (I guess they use the same cell sample) but literally no one has ever asked me if I wanted to be tested for HIV. I am not sure if that's because of the likelihood of hetero women getting it is slim to nil or if I just had three bad gynecologists in my life, but it was never even offered.

Also I think if you get HIV and you leave it untreated for nearly half a decade, you definitely start developing weird symptoms. Your blood work would be wonky by now and you'd have constant infections.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a blood transfusion in the 80s about six months before they started the routine screening of blood for HIV. Instead of worrying about it for years, I got tested. Seems to me that a simple test is more effective than worry.

I’m stranded at my parents’ in the middle of nowhere. Will have to wait until I get back to Dc to go buy a kit from CVS and test. Meanwhile the anxiety is literally making me sick.

You had 5 years to get tested and you still haven't done it...

I didn’t think about it until now

For the future, you should get tested yearly for Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV when you go to the gyn. Otherwise, you have potentially put everyone else you had sex with in the last 5 years at risk too. Part of being a responsible sex partner is getting tested for STIs including HIV regularly unless/until you are in a relationship where both partners are 100 percent monogamous.

But yes, definitely get a home kit when you get close enough to a CVS, Walgreen's, etc. Within 20 minutes you'll know. Until then try not to stress too much.