Anonymous
12/24/2019 10:54
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When did being masculine become "toxic"? The grown men that I know of all ages are all kind, well adjusted and caring.
When threatened conservatives like you decided to get overly defensive and willfully ignore that people are talking about the masculinity that runs through gun culture, rape culture, men must earn tons of money or they’re useless culture and so on. That’s toxic. Masculinity in itself is not. Stop being dense.
NP. Do you realized you just accused this person of being a “conservative” when —in fact— they simply made an observation? And their observation doesn’t put them in any political corner. It’s my pet peeve when people do that. I made some boring benign comment once, not controversial, and someone on DCUM accused me of being a Trump voter!! Off topic, but had to point it out.
Anonymous
12/24/2019 10:22
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
You can kill a person’s spirit not must their body.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Good grief. The most toxic people I have ever had to deal with were women.
Their toxicity kills people a lot less often, though.
Anonymous
12/24/2019 08:16
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
I like the book Wingmen and Masterminds for insight into raising boys.
Anonymous
12/24/2019 08:01
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Liz Plank just wrote a really great book about this, For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity. It rejects the term "toxic masculinity" in favor of "idealized masculinity" and is full of data. I highly recommend it.
(No I am not the author or affiliated with her in any way, I just think it's a great book.)
Yes, what all American males need is for a female Vox columnist with a degree in women's studies to tell them how to be masculine.
There aren't enough eyerolls in the world for this idea, but this times infinity:
You didn’t read it, but you made a bunch of eye rolls. Read it first. It didn’t tell boys how to be masculine. It documented a lot of the pressures boys face. I’m raising a boy- I thought it was a good piece. Not groundbreaking bc it mostly confirmed my existing suspicions, but I’m already aware of a lot of these issues. If you are someone stomping your feet and talking about the liberal media, you will learn something. It did not give any ideas about how to raise boys, actually.
Anonymous
12/24/2019 07:52
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1. Don’t label them. Let them be whoever they are.
2. Love them unconditionally.
3. Set boundaries. Teach manners.
4. Model empathy. Teach them to be kind.
5. Respect them, and teach them how to respect others.
6. Explain that they aren’t the center of the universe. Rather, they are part of a family unit, a community and a global community—and they have responsibilities.
7. Teach them how to clean up after themselves, how to cook, and how to be a self-sufficient human.
8. Demonstrate a healthy marriage where the parents are true partners who strive to make each other’s life easier.
I could go on, but that’s the basic stuff. It’s all common sense.
Signed,
Mother of 4 boys
PS - There’s no such thing as toxic masculinity...that’s just a clickbait phrase coined to sell books/articles. Some guys are just jerks.
You should definitely read the piece in the Atlantic posted above.
That being an opinion piece taken from a book written by a woman who also writes on how to raise girls. In her opinion.
She conducted a lot of great interviews. It’s worth a read.
NP. I read it when it first came out as well and found it very underwhelming. I suspected right away that it was written by someone who wasn't raising boys, and I was right.
Anonymous
12/24/2019 01:59
Subject: Re:Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Of course I know what it means to act like a boy at this time and place in our culture. That is the whole point actually. We all know what it means because it's all around us and drilled into us many different ways from the time we are infants.
If you're a woman, you don't know anything about what it means to act like a boy.
And no, it is not "drilled into boys" how to act like a boy. They do it perfectly naturally.
Wow, something must be wrong with mine, then.
And that ^^^ is where the toxicity happens.
NP. I'm sure there is something wrong with them, and it is most definitely caused by someone pushing a little too hard with their woke culture.
Anonymous
12/24/2019 00:51
Subject: Re:Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Of course I know what it means to act like a boy at this time and place in our culture. That is the whole point actually. We all know what it means because it's all around us and drilled into us many different ways from the time we are infants.
If you're a woman, you don't know anything about what it means to act like a boy.
And no, it is not "drilled into boys" how to act like a boy. They do it perfectly naturally.
Wow, something must be wrong with mine, then.
And that ^^^ is where the toxicity happens.
Anonymous
12/24/2019 00:06
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Liz Plank just wrote a really great book about this, For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity. It rejects the term "toxic masculinity" in favor of "idealized masculinity" and is full of data. I highly recommend it.
(No I am not the author or affiliated with her in any way, I just think it's a great book.)
Yes, what all American males need is for a female Vox columnist with a degree in women's studies to tell them how to be masculine.
There aren't enough eyerolls in the world for this idea, but this times infinity:
Anonymous
12/24/2019 00:03
Subject: Re:Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:
Of course I know what it means to act like a boy at this time and place in our culture. That is the whole point actually. We all know what it means because it's all around us and drilled into us many different ways from the time we are infants.
If you're a woman, you don't know anything about what it means to act like a boy.
And no, it is not "drilled into boys" how to act like a boy. They do it perfectly naturally.
Anonymous
12/23/2019 22:41
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1. Don’t label them. Let them be whoever they are.
2. Love them unconditionally.
3. Set boundaries. Teach manners.
4. Model empathy. Teach them to be kind.
5. Respect them, and teach them how to respect others.
6. Explain that they aren’t the center of the universe. Rather, they are part of a family unit, a community and a global community—and they have responsibilities.
7. Teach them how to clean up after themselves, how to cook, and how to be a self-sufficient human.
8. Demonstrate a healthy marriage where the parents are true partners who strive to make each other’s life easier.
I could go on, but that’s the basic stuff. It’s all common sense.
Signed,
Mother of 4 boys
PS - There’s no such thing as toxic masculinity...that’s just a clickbait phrase coined to sell books/articles. Some guys are just jerks.
You should definitely read the piece in the Atlantic posted above.
That being an opinion piece taken from a book written by a woman who also writes on how to raise girls. In her opinion.
She conducted a lot of great interviews. It’s worth a read.
Anonymous
12/23/2019 22:41
Subject: Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1. Don’t label them. Let them be whoever they are.
2. Love them unconditionally.
3. Set boundaries. Teach manners.
4. Model empathy. Teach them to be kind.
5. Respect them, and teach them how to respect others.
6. Explain that they aren’t the center of the universe. Rather, they are part of a family unit, a community and a global community—and they have responsibilities.
7. Teach them how to clean up after themselves, how to cook, and how to be a self-sufficient human.
8. Demonstrate a healthy marriage where the parents are true partners who strive to make each other’s life easier.
I could go on, but that’s the basic stuff. It’s all common sense.
Signed,
Mother of 4 boys
PS - There’s no such thing as toxic masculinity...that’s just a clickbait phrase coined to sell books/articles. Some guys are just jerks.
You should definitely read the piece in the Atlantic posted above.
I read it when it first came out. Meh.
Here’s the thing: my boys are being raised by a nice dad who was raised by a nice dad. My boys’ dad treats their mom very well (just as their grandfathers treated their grandmothers well). There’s really nothing toxic about the way we’re raising them. In fact, they’re the kind of boys who stick up for other kids.
Parenting might be exhausting, but it’s really not rocket science.
Anonymous
12/23/2019 22:29
Subject: Re:Toxic Masculinity and Raising Boys
I have none. One of the reasons I will gender select a female.
Unfortunately many masculine traits that have made men successful are also toxic.
Unfortunately many masculine traits that have made men successful are also toxic.