That was never an issue in our household. All girls, living with mom (parents divorced), until college.

I grew up in a household where the level of clothing was marked by the least comfortable person. When only my sister, mother and I were home and it was hot (no ac), we’d throw a sheet over the furniture and read naked. When my brother got home, he was more comfortable if everyone covered genitals and nipples, so if he wanted to have us wear bras, he was expected to wear a tee shirt too. But we were allowed to wear underwear and bra, loose nightgown or anything else that covered.

Modesty in the home is NOT tied to modesty in a single-sex down or in public. There’s no way I would have been naked in my dorm anywhere but the bathroom. But I wandered around the girls-only areas of the dorm in only underwear and bra or nightgown, just like most of the other girls did. And my clothing was more modest in public than most others. I’ve NEVER worn shorts or skirts that were short enough to not touch the top of my knee, nothing that showed any midriff, and no cleavage.

It’s comfort level with your body and allowing others to state how comfortable they are. For us, it was respecting others’ comfort and allowing them the space to state that. For us at least, it was about gender equality; my brother would have preferred to skip a shirt, but if he wanted us wearing bras, he could wear a shirt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Up to comfort level. I mean what is your kid going to do in a locker room? It’s pretty normal to see someone of the same sex getting dressed/undressed.

Among peers is different, in my opinion. Any significant age gap = power difference = modesty difference. As a teenage swimmer, did I shower with my peers/dress with my peers in the locker room? Yes. Was the 30something coach a part of that dynamic, even though she often lifted weights, etc., with us? Hell no.

Sounds like you were sexually abused as a child and maybe that is affecting your views on this?

DP. It’s a sad excuse for a human being that uses this as a put down.

It’s a sad excuse for a human being that reads a put down into a question. The PP is using very strong language to suggest that a parent changing in front of their child is somehow an abuse of power. It’s understandable if she has a history of abuse and I think people would be nicer to her in responding.

By your own logic, it would be fair for me to say that the level of defensiveness in your post means something about this conversation is making you uncomfortable. Something about this conversation is bothering you. Deeply. Shall we draw some conclusions about you, based on the level you took this to just because someone posted their opinion when asked for their opinion?