Christmas excesses are disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:We were with many of the school parents this week due to all the school functions, but to summarize a couple of the moms said you can tell who didn’t grow up with money by how much they spend on Christmas. The lower income, the bigger the Christmas? True or false?

True. They’re desperate to give their kids a bit of luxury and things they didn’t have as a kid, but can only afford to do it once a year, so they go all out.

Elementary teacher here. I spent the first half of my career at a lower/working class school in upstate New York, and the second half at an affluent MoCo school, and heard/hear allll about the gifts received by hundreds of kids over the years. Anecdotally, this is not true at all in my experience.

You people have so many issues. Christmas is about your family and your children, not signaling wealth or superior morals or minimalism to anyone else. I grew up getting about a dozen presents and my kids do, too. It’s fun to have one day where you are almost overwhelmed by the number of gifts. The chaos and magic of Christmas morning is very special to us. I couldn’t care less what you think that says about me or about my bank accounts.

I tend to do a modest amount of most-wanted gifts for my kids at Christmas, but as for my husband and his parents - their “love language” is gifts. So they show their love for the kids with lots and lots of stuff. I’ve learned to get over it, and it’s certainly not indicative of our income level.

Christmas was very sparse when I was a poor kid. Sometimes it was only though my aunts’ generosity that there were gifts. When I was a young mom, I didn’t make much money, but there were three years that I got a Christmas bonus and I tended to go a little nuts on the number of gifts although the total value was reasonable.

These days, we spend very little and it’s often one or two gifts per child.

I see what they’re saying, to a point. I feel like the wealthier people I know stick to the “want - need - wear - read” thing for Christmas, but basically buy whatever they want throughout the year. And they’ll usually do a big vacation at Christmas, usually skiing but sometimes someplace warm, and not to visit family either. Whereas the “huge pile of cheap toys and presents” tends to be a LMC thing. That said, I also know pretty well-off people who also go crazy with the presents at Christmas too. But they aren’t buying huge amounts of dollar store and inexpensive gifts to make it look like a lot.

Has anyone read Hillbilly Elegy? He talks about the debt his family would go into around Christmas time to buy truly extravagant gifts that made them miss rent for multiple months. Of course this doesn’t apply across the board but it was an interesting observation the way he tied it into more generally cultural expectations.

i grew up in a family with plenty of money but with an anti-materialist mother. We received almost nothing for Christmas. What a bummer.

Now I get my kids a few things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich piles are smaller, but more expensive. Middle class piles are bigger, but cost less.

This. A few quality items. Not piles of junk.

Yeah, not everyone has the means for "quality items"


OP, I do think there is a correlation but I think those parents are crappy for even pointing it out.

This is an interesting conversation. But I guess it just goes back to people with money are better at identifying Items with worth, versus People who don’t, may just go out and buy a lot of junk so that it looks bigger. Or maybe the guilt of not being able to do more, makes you do more at Christmas? Or maybe it’s the keeping up with the Joneses thing

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, financial security means you can purchase those wants whenever. We typically give one present and truly see the holidays asa time to enjoy being with our family and friends. A lot of charitable giving is central to our celebrations.

We can, but we don't. Most "wants" in our house are met with "put it on the birthday/Christmas list." Then gifts, much appreciated for having been anticipated and actually wanted and not crossed off the list during the time of first desire to receipt, are exchanged during our holiday, when we truly enjoy being with family and friends and engaging in acts of service and charitable giving together.

This seems like you are trying a bit too hard PP.

We have money and both had it growing up. Sure, we buy things during the year for the children, but we don't give into every whim & want. We also don't buy junk at Christmas just for the sake of having more gifts.

I grew up with money and we had a ton of gifts.

I don’t have a ton of money now but I only have one child so I can afford to spoil the crap out of him. And I do!!!

Anonymous wrote:Rich piles are smaller, but more expensive. Middle class piles are bigger, but cost less.

This. A few quality items. Not piles of junk.