Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go and say you didn’t get the paperwork til after the trip. What’s he going to do?

He may not have to do anything. It is against the law to take a child out of the country without consent from the other parent. The court will have a record of the date that the summons was served and if she takes her child out of the country, and the ex-spouse says something at the custody hearing, the court has the power to sentence her to a fine or even jail time under federal kidnapping laws. It usually doesn't come to that, but if it is clear that the spouse either had no idea that this was occurring (e.g. you didn't ask permission) or explicitly did not grant consent, the judge often chooses some sentence depending on the situation. In most cases, when the child is returned, and there is no court date pending, nothing happens. But in this case, they already have a custody hearing, so there is a perfect venue for this complaint already scheduled. Very dangerous to do it under these circumstances. I recommend that you communicate with the ex-spouse and if he does not consent, then cancel and reschedule the trip for after the holidays.

But isn't that something that the custody arrangements usually spell out? It doesn't sound like OP and the father of her child were ever married; they don't have any formal custody arrangements or child support in place yet. Are you telling me that there is a blanket prohibition in the law against taking a child on foreign trips without the consent of the bio parent, regardless of the legal arrangement between the parents?

There is a lot of scrutiny of American citizen minor children traveling overseas with only one parent due to international parental kidnapping and also due to human trafficking.

I travel with my American citizen minor child every summer. We have different last names and look different. Not once have I been asked a question or subjected to scrutiny. His father and I are married and I carry a notarized permission just in case but I never had to show it.

Sometimes parents want to travel out of state with their child, but custody is still pending or no order is in place. In this situation, it may be wise to seek the other parent's permission or court approval. Establishing a record of unilateral actions without consulting the other parent can make a judge think you won't be able to effectively co-parent with your child's other parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go and say you didn’t get the paperwork til after the trip. What’s he going to do?

He may not have to do anything. It is against the law to take a child out of the country without consent from the other parent. The court will have a record of the date that the summons was served and if she takes her child out of the country, and the ex-spouse says something at the custody hearing, the court has the power to sentence her to a fine or even jail time under federal kidnapping laws. It usually doesn't come to that, but if it is clear that the spouse either had no idea that this was occurring (e.g. you didn't ask permission) or explicitly did not grant consent, the judge often chooses some sentence depending on the situation. In most cases, when the child is returned, and there is no court date pending, nothing happens. But in this case, they already have a custody hearing, so there is a perfect venue for this complaint already scheduled. Very dangerous to do it under these circumstances. I recommend that you communicate with the ex-spouse and if he does not consent, then cancel and reschedule the trip for after the holidays.

But isn't that something that the custody arrangements usually spell out? It doesn't sound like OP and the father of her child were ever married; they don't have any formal custody arrangements or child support in place yet. Are you telling me that there is a blanket prohibition in the law against taking a child on foreign trips without the consent of the bio parent, regardless of the legal arrangement between the parents?

There is a lot of scrutiny of American citizen minor children traveling overseas with only one parent due to international parental kidnapping and also due to human trafficking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Here's what I would do. I would write a letter to ex that requests permission for the trip. I would remind him in the letter that he had already said he was fine with it when you asked him about holiday plans (I'm not sure if he said he was fine with travelling, or just that he had no plans with child. Just be truthful here, but explain why you thought it was reasonable to book the trip.). I would tell ex that you have spent $x dollars on the trip for child already and you would appreciate if he would give his permission or reimburse you for your costs, since you bought the tickets with the understanding he'd be fine with the trip. If he says no, I would leave the child with him, but I would request reimbursement for the costs as part of the custody case.

This is the correct answer.

+2

Anonymous wrote:I filed for child support from my kids father and his response has been to file for joint custody. We live in different states and his filing basically halted the child support process all year. I am supposed to be traveling with my kid on vacation in a few days and the papers say I can't travel with the child without permission from him. He will definitely not approve now he has the power to do so, does anyone have ideas on what I can do in 3 days to address this? Hotels and tickets have already been paid for. Thank you.

Do you have a court hearing in three days? Can't you ask the court to give you permission to travel at that time, if you explain that it has happened before and has been preplanned?

Anonymous wrote:
Here's what I would do. I would write a letter to ex that requests permission for the trip. I would remind him in the letter that he had already said he was fine with it when you asked him about holiday plans (I'm not sure if he said he was fine with travelling, or just that he had no plans with child. Just be truthful here, but explain why you thought it was reasonable to book the trip.). I would tell ex that you have spent $x dollars on the trip for child already and you would appreciate if he would give his permission or reimburse you for your costs, since you bought the tickets with the understanding he'd be fine with the trip. If he says no, I would leave the child with him, but I would request reimbursement for the costs as part of the custody case.

This is the correct answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go and say you didn’t get the paperwork til after the trip. What’s he going to do?

He may not have to do anything. It is against the law to take a child out of the country without consent from the other parent. The court will have a record of the date that the summons was served and if she takes her child out of the country, and the ex-spouse says something at the custody hearing, the court has the power to sentence her to a fine or even jail time under federal kidnapping laws. It usually doesn't come to that, but if it is clear that the spouse either had no idea that this was occurring (e.g. you didn't ask permission) or explicitly did not grant consent, the judge often chooses some sentence depending on the situation. In most cases, when the child is returned, and there is no court date pending, nothing happens. But in this case, they already have a custody hearing, so there is a perfect venue for this complaint already scheduled. Very dangerous to do it under these circumstances. I recommend that you communicate with the ex-spouse and if he does not consent, then cancel and reschedule the trip for after the holidays.

But isn't that something that the custody arrangements usually spell out? It doesn't sound like OP and the father of her child were ever married; they don't have any formal custody arrangements or child support in place yet. Are you telling me that there is a blanket prohibition in the law against taking a child on foreign trips without the consent of the bio parent, regardless of the legal arrangement between the parents?

Anonymous wrote:Just go and say you didn’t get the paperwork til after the trip. What’s he going to do?

He may not have to do anything. It is against the law to take a child out of the country without consent from the other parent. The court will have a record of the date that the summons was served and if she takes her child out of the country, and the ex-spouse says something at the custody hearing, the court has the power to sentence her to a fine or even jail time under federal kidnapping laws. It usually doesn't come to that, but if it is clear that the spouse either had no idea that this was occurring (e.g. you didn't ask permission) or explicitly did not grant consent, the judge often chooses some sentence depending on the situation. In most cases, when the child is returned, and there is no court date pending, nothing happens. But in this case, they already have a custody hearing, so there is a perfect venue for this complaint already scheduled. Very dangerous to do it under these circumstances. I recommend that you communicate with the ex-spouse and if he does not consent, then cancel and reschedule the trip for after the holidays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

So you moved your child further from his father. There’s obviously a lot to unpack here that is causing him to ask for joint custody.

Anonymous wrote:The child lives with me fulltime and I did ask him if he had plans for the kid before planning my trip. It is international travel but we have gone several times. Two years ago he asked that I drop our child off with his family when I got abroad and ended up borrowing money from me to pay for the ticket. I live here, we are coming back.

If the child has been living with you full time for a number of years, and you have never received support from him, it seems unlikely that the judge would change that to joint physical custody.

If you make more money than your kid's father, I wouldn't rule it out that the move for joint custody is to get YOU to pay money to him. It doesn't sound like he's comfortable financially if he's borrowing money for the ticket from you.

Anonymous wrote:I filed for child support from my kids father and his response has been to file for joint custody. We live in different states and his filing basically halted the child support process all year. I am supposed to be traveling with my kid on vacation in a few days and the papers say I can't travel with the child without permission from him. He will definitely not approve now he has the power to do so, does anyone have ideas on what I can do in 3 days to address this? Hotels and tickets have already been paid for. Thank you.

I am not very familiar with the law on that point but I am not sure how he can unilaterally put in place a rule that you need permission from him to travel on vacation? He has only filed for joint custody, it hasn't been awarded by the court yet, correct? Is "asking for joint custody" all it takes to stop all travel?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go and say you didn’t get the paperwork til after the trip. What’s he going to do?

You can’t say that if you have been served. They know the date you got the paperwork.

A lawyer can probably get the court to allow travel that was already preplanned and tickets paid for.

Not in 3 days.

Here's what I would do. I would write a letter to ex that requests permission for the trip. I would remind him in the letter that he had already said he was fine with it when you asked him about holiday plans (I'm not sure if he said he was fine with travelling, or just that he had no plans with child. Just be truthful here, but explain why you thought it was reasonable to book the trip.). I would tell ex that you have spent $x dollars on the trip for child already and you would appreciate if he would give his permission or reimburse you for your costs, since you bought the tickets with the understanding he'd be fine with the trip. If he says no, I would leave the child with him, but I would request reimbursement for the costs as part of the custody case.

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he just doesn’t want you to have a nice international trip while he stays home. So why not just dump the kid on his door and go yourself?

This might be an expensive but probably the best solution.

I am willing to share custody, it will make my life alot easier. Without the arrangement in place he has been visiting at will and the child also spends time with him as needed. Unfortunately we now live further apart. I filed for support after asking for a set amount of money each month.