I think they can (I woh and 2 kids). But then I spend time with people to build friendships on weekday evenings and weekends and we do have local grandparents and spend time with them too. When kids are napping I have 4 blocks of time every weekend. One of those can be spent with non family. We happily do park or our house play dates with neighbors and friends. As my kids are little, i make friends with who I want and they play with those kids not the other way around. It's the same as my kids doing a play date with kids of my very old friends because that's who I want to spend time with. I'm willing to be flexible and work around other people's schedules within limits. I have a short commute and when the sun is out later we go to Theo wrk at 4:30 before dinner time for a bit and have met some neighbor kids and nice parents that way. I've run into people at gymnastics and started chatting, at preschool pickup and at neighborhood events. I think I'm just a Chatty Cathy and friendly and invite people to do things. If they come, great, if they can't then that's their loss.

I do think it's weird to refuse friendship because you won't see people other than family on the weekend. That's a little too mentally rigid for my taste. But that doesn't have much to do with SAH or WOH. There are plenty of mentally rigid women in both groups.

The remarks are a bigger issue, but why would you even want to be friends with someone who makes such nasty remarks or expose your kids to that. Their kids are probably nasty little bullies too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM with some working mom friends. We obviously don’t hang out on weekdays. I also have friends without kids! And even unmarried friends!

We are working parents. So let’s be clear, you don’t get together on weekdays and weekends are devoted to family time?

When do you get together??? I ask b/c we like OP live among many SAHMs, and I don’t know how to build friendship b/c I just never see anyone. They carpool for practices so I see the same mom like once a month, they are building their friendships while I’m at work so not sure how to even make decent introductions.

We are in the same boat. Moved here nearly three years ago. Still no local friends. It is very isolating.

If these SAHMs aren't willing to meet up for weekend playdates, then it probably won't work out. Try inviting them along to a trip to the park/playground or storytime at the library that you are already planning on doing with your daughter on a Sat/Sun. No pressure, no guilt -- just anyone who can join you is welcome. Do it a few times. People who want to be friends will make an effort to come. Those who don't bother, you can stop inviting.

Anonymous wrote:Most women are stay at home moms for a few years. Only the foolish women as stay at home moms forever. Go out at night or on the weekends. It’s nit rocket science.

Stop fueling the wars.

Anonymous wrote:As a WOHM, I actually find it very difficult to see my friends much at all, let alone make new ones. I just don’t have a lot of time to invest in the relationships.

This. It is really odd to blame this on the parents in your circles who don't get paid for their time. OP, it is all about schedules -- and yours is pretty full. Why would you blame that on some else. It is just the reality of life these days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler has attended five play dates with classmates in the past month, all of them at 11 am, directly following class. Sorry, OP, it’s just convenience.

These are your preschooler’s friends. Not your friends. Sheesh.

Many people bond with the parents of their preschoolers' friends. Our kids are grown, but our dearest friends are still the parents we met through our toddlers, even though the kids hardly know each other any more.

Most women are stay at home moms for a few years. Only the foolish women as stay at home moms forever. Go out at night or on the weekends. It’s nit rocket science.

My BFF when my kids were young was a SAHM and I worked full time.

It was great. She was essentially a single mom since her H worked so much. My nanny would do play dates so she could get a break.

I helped her in the evening by taking all our kids to the park so she could get dinner ready and the house clean.

Try being a Stay at Home Mom who is left out of the school SAHM clique. Sucks even more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM with some working mom friends. We obviously don’t hang out on weekdays. I also have friends without kids! And even unmarried friends!

We are working parents. So let’s be clear, you don’t get together on weekdays and weekends are devoted to family time?

When do you get together??? I ask b/c we like OP live among many SAHMs, and I don’t know how to build friendship b/c I just never see anyone. They carpool for practices so I see the same mom like once a month, they are building their friendships while I’m at work so not sure how to even make decent introductions.

I'm not the PP but for us weekends are for family time. We will do stuff with other families where we like that parents and all the kids get along, but not a playdate for just one of the kids.

To answer your question, it's hard to build friendships. In my experience, friends through our kids are friends as long as it's convenient and mutually beneficial. Those moms carpooling probably aren't good friends and won't be in touch once their friends aren't on the same soccer team, or whatever it is. Some friendships last, of course, but everyone I know of has this same challenge with finding/building/maintaining adult friendships when they have kids, whether they SAH or not.

I’m just definitely jealous and feel shut out when all the moms at the school meet for yoga and lunch several times a week, and then if I suggest weekends it’s a polite no. We should probably move to further suburb to find a working mom tribe i guess.

First off, stop thinking that you need to be friends with the parents of your friend's kids. Second, don't bother with these people - kids can play at/before/after church. It gets much easier when they're old enough for drop offs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM with some working mom friends. We obviously don’t hang out on weekdays. I also have friends without kids! And even unmarried friends!

We are working parents. So let’s be clear, you don’t get together on weekdays and weekends are devoted to family time?

When do you get together??? I ask b/c we like OP live among many SAHMs, and I don’t know how to build friendship b/c I just never see anyone. They carpool for practices so I see the same mom like once a month, they are building their friendships while I’m at work so not sure how to even make decent introductions.

I'm not the PP but for us weekends are for family time. We will do stuff with other families where we like that parents and all the kids get along, but not a playdate for just one of the kids.

To answer your question, it's hard to build friendships. In my experience, friends through our kids are friends as long as it's convenient and mutually beneficial. Those moms carpooling probably aren't good friends and won't be in touch once their friends aren't on the same soccer team, or whatever it is. Some friendships last, of course, but everyone I know of has this same challenge with finding/building/maintaining adult friendships when they have kids, whether they SAH or not.

Anonymous wrote:Your title is misleading. What you are describing is your kid liking their kids and you are not able to do playgroups on weekdays because you work. That’s not the same as “be friends.” I have tons of SAHM friends and I work full time. However, I’m not able to join their for day trips or play groups because I work. Generally people don’t like to meet up on weekends because it’s family time. Since you work full time, you also know it’s our time to catch up with kids, chores, and grocery shopping.

I agree with all of this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM with some working mom friends. We obviously don’t hang out on weekdays. I also have friends without kids! And even unmarried friends!

We are working parents. So let’s be clear, you don’t get together on weekdays and weekends are devoted to family time?

When do you get together??? I ask b/c we like OP live among many SAHMs, and I don’t know how to build friendship b/c I just never see anyone. They carpool for practices so I see the same mom like once a month, they are building their friendships while I’m at work so not sure how to even make decent introductions.