DH and I are only children, so we spend it at home and invite his parents to come. We go to my parents for Thanksgiving. We used to invite both sets for both holidays, but that doesn't work well because our young child strongly favors one grandma over the other which causes tension when everyone is together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for Xmas morning at home, and then leaving to go to grandparents' house at noon or 1 pm.

Stay overnight -- cramming in for one night won't kill anyone, or else spring for a hotel.

Return home evening of the 26th.

How is Xmas in a hotel special or meaningful for a kid? I just don’t get that compromise

Yep Christmas is for kids not grandparents.

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for Xmas morning at home, and then leaving to go to grandparents' house at noon or 1 pm.

Stay overnight -- cramming in for one night won't kill anyone, or else spring for a hotel.

Return home evening of the 26th.

How is Xmas in a hotel special or meaningful for a kid? I just don’t get that compromise

Anonymous wrote:I grew up spending Christmas Eve and morning at my grandparents’ house. I was the only one spending the night (web eventually I got a brother and he was there too), but the local cousins would trickle in over the course of the day and it was awesome. Eventually my dad decided we needed our own traditions (or maybe just got sick of his ILs) and we started opening presents at home and driving up Christmas Day. The 3 hour drive on Christmas sucked.

We are local to my parents and used to be local to DH’s before they moved. So we open gifts at home and then drive to one set of grandparents got afternoon and evening. Now that ILs have moved, we spend some years with them, which means sleeping there Christmas Eve.

The point of all that is I think both scenarios can be nice but what I do not recommend is the compromise scenario where you spend 2-3 hours in a car on Christmas Day itself.

Also I don’t think it’s necessary to have the one tradition you do every single year. It’s fine to go to your parents some years but stay home others.

I grew up spending Christmas Eve and morning at my grandparents’ house. I was the only one spending the night (web eventually I got a brother and he was there too), but the local cousins would trickle in over the course of the day and it was awesome. Eventually my dad decided we needed our own traditions (or maybe just got sick of his ILs) and we started opening presents at home and driving up Christmas Day. The 3 hour drive on Christmas sucked.

We are local to my parents and used to be local to DH’s before they moved. So we open gifts at home and then drive to one set of grandparents got afternoon and evening. Now that ILs have moved, we spend some years with them, which means sleeping there Christmas Eve.

The point of all that is I think both scenarios can be nice but what I do not recommend is the compromise scenario where you spend 2-3 hours in a car on Christmas Day itself.

Anonymous wrote:We travel far to extended family. Totally worth it. 3 kids under 3.

Awww. Those poor kids...

We travel far to extended family. Totally worth it. 3 kids under 3.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We see family on christmas eve and spend christmas at home. My chlidren opening presents under the tree at their own home trumps whatever extended family wants. They are only young once.

So opening presents are more important than spending time with family? I guess one day your kids will tell your grandchildren that opening presents under the tree matters more than spending time with you : ) Merry Christmas!

Oh FFS. We always go to my hometown, as do my siblings, and because it's what we've always done, it's what my kids now want and expect. But if they ever announced that they wanted to stay home, we'd do that. And my parents would be fine with that.

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are 3 and 5. When the oldest was 3 we decided that until the kids are out of the Santa years, we would do Christmas morning at our home.

My parents come over on Christmas Day around 11am and stay for dinner. We leave for my husband’s parents’ house on the 26th or 27th. It’s a 4 hour drive and we stay 2-3 nights.

Above is our tradition, which also include seeing my parents at their home Christmas Eve. We travel late to the ILs to overlap with my MIL’s late December birthday.

For all the people bashing parents for not spending every moment and holiday with grandparents, maybe try to see if from a parent’s perspective. My kids are only young once. My parents and my inlaws raised their kids. My parents and in laws had 18+ years of Christmases with just them and their children opening presents and eating breakfast foods. I want that magic time with my kids. I am lucky to have 4 loving, involved grandparents for my kids. However the grandparents would be at every single class party, sports game, event and holiday - major and minor. They would come on every vacation too. I love my parents and inlaws and I do a lot of things to foster meaningful relationships between them and my kids - but sometimes it is suffocating and it leaves very little time for my husband and I to have traditions and create memories as a nuclear family.

Our kids are 3 and 5. When the oldest was 3 we decided that until the kids are out of the Santa years, we would do Christmas morning at our home.

My parents come over on Christmas Day around 11am and stay for dinner. We leave for my husband’s parents’ house on the 26th or 27th. It’s a 4 hour drive and we stay 2-3 nights.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We see family on christmas eve and spend christmas at home. My chlidren opening presents under the tree at their own home trumps whatever extended family wants. They are only young once.

So opening presents are more important than spending time with family? I guess one day your kids will tell your grandchildren that opening presents under the tree matters more than spending time with you : ) Merry Christmas!

Literally the forst six words of the prior post were, "We see family on christmas eve," you moron.

Anonymous wrote:We have always done Christmas with my parents in their small house and would not change it for anything in the world. My dad dresses up as Santa (my kids are 6, 4 and 9 months), they wake up in the morning with so many people that love them, etc... this is our experience and our “tradition”, but if yours is different, I can see why you would not like to change it. I would be super sad doing Christmas without my parents...

And your spouse? Does he or she det to see his or her parents on Christmas?

Another vote for Xmas morning at home, and then leaving to go to grandparents' house at noon or 1 pm.

Stay overnight -- cramming in for one night won't kill anyone, or else spring for a hotel.

Return home evening of the 26th.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We see family on christmas eve and spend christmas at home. My chlidren opening presents under the tree at their own home trumps whatever extended family wants. They are only young once.

So opening presents are more important than spending time with family? I guess one day your kids will tell your grandchildren that opening presents under the tree matters more than spending time with you : ) Merry Christmas!

Oh, no! Grouchy saint pp showed up! She misplaced her Xanax again!

Ha! She NEEDS to pile on the guilt! I bet her kids have been saying that they’re never going to travel on Christmas when they grow up. Guilt and martyrdom are the only cards she has left to play.

No I’m far from a martyr. I just value people over material things in general. And I also happen to have great parents/ grandparents that my kids love spending time with. So I prioritize celebrating Christmas with them as a family vs just watching my kids open presents under our tree at home. They are pretty old so I know one day when they are gone and I look back at it we’ll have happy memories that we don’t regret. Even though it is a pain traveling during Christmas!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We see family on christmas eve and spend christmas at home. My chlidren opening presents under the tree at their own home trumps whatever extended family wants. They are only young once.

So opening presents are more important than spending time with family? I guess one day your kids will tell your grandchildren that opening presents under the tree matters more than spending time with you : ) Merry Christmas!

NP When I'm a grandparent I will prioritize traveling to my grandchildren. Because it's more important to see kids who believe in santa opening presents under their own trees than harassing my family to visit me.