When my child was 3 he fell into a pool unnoticed. There were three adults and three kids at a very peaceful home pool. I was an idiot and hadn’t thought to put a floatie on him since I figured we were all right there. I will never forget the feeling of suddenly turning my head and seeing him fully submerged slowly paddling his arms, at the bottom of the shallow end. And the silence all around us. I threw myself into the pool so hard that almost 10 years later my knee is still scarred from where it hit the bottom. He was fine and we were very, very lucky. No way would I do this OP— it’s too easy for something to go horribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invest in the infant swim safety course. They teach kids as young as six months to flip on their back and float - it's amazing to watch.

We had friends do this many years ago and the logistics were challenging (if I remember correctly the one-on-one lessons were only 10 minutes long but they had to go something like 5 days/ week) - but the hassle would be worth it in your case.

You can see the cool videos here of baby's flipping over on their back and 1 year old kids able to swim to side of pool:

https://www.infantswim.com/lessons/isr-lessons.html

I think British swim school does it in our area. They are in every state.

You cannot ever depend on the ability of a child this age to get him or herself out of the water. You just can't. Don't bother paying for these classes, because it's a false sense of security and having a false sense of security is exactly what goes wrong with every plan to keep kids from drowning in backyard pools.

It has nothing to do with the OP's parents degree of care or w/ev. Even people who care deeply have kids who drown in pools.

I would not do it. My H's best friend in preschool drowned in a backyard pool, his mother had gone into the kitchen for a minute and the boy had figured out how to open the patio door and gone outside. He was four. My H still remembers wondering where his friend was at school. The families were good friends and recently my MIL was telling me the story of what happened, she started getting emotional, and this was something that happened over 40 years ago. Yes there are precautions one can take but to me it's not worth it.

I wouldn't do it and I leave my DCs with the grandparents alone a few times a year. The situation you have though, where the pool is just right outside the backdoor and the distraction of baby + toddler, is just asking for something to happen.

Also, I get it as far as your DH checking out and being nervous in that situation too. My DH does the same thing. When it's just the two of us, we're evenly split on parenting duties. The second his mom is around, he tags out and she essentially steps into his role. It drives me crazy but happens infrequently enough that it's not worth me making a big deal out of us.

Still on the fence, OP? Let’s hope not.
No wedding is worth this risk.

From the Centers for Disease Control:

The leading causes of injury death differed by age group.
—For children less than 1 year of age, two–thirds of injury deaths were due to suffocation.

—Drowning was the leading cause injury death for those 1 to 4 years of age.


Not worth it, OP.

Pool owner here. Alarms may not help much because someone needs to hear them and react _quickly_. As an example, when our DD was 3, DW turned her back for a moment to get their floaties and DD had already started waltzing in, not realizing she needs to have those on.

What we have is an automatic, locking pool cover that always stays locked unless we are actively in the pool. (As for the story above, we learned our lesson and new rule is no opening the cover until floaties are on.)
https://lathampool.com/products/automatic-safety-covers/

There's a key needed to open the box with the switch on it, and we keep that inside the house, out of child's reach.

Installing into an existing pool can be pricey as they need to install the track just below the edge of the pool. I'd guess it's $5-10k, and closer to $10k.

Anonymous wrote:Invest in the infant swim safety course. They teach kids as young as six months to flip on their back and float - it's amazing to watch.

We had friends do this many years ago and the logistics were challenging (if I remember correctly the one-on-one lessons were only 10 minutes long but they had to go something like 5 days/ week) - but the hassle would be worth it in your case.

You can see the cool videos here of baby's flipping over on their back and 1 year old kids able to swim to side of pool:

https://www.infantswim.com/lessons/isr-lessons.html

I think British swim school does it in our area. They are in every state.

There are all kinds of alarms that sense any movement in the pool. You can have a remote speaker at home


https://www.walmart.com/ip/Pool-Patrol-PA-30-Pool-Alarm/23636236?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=2728&adid=22222222227017176417&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=234373107793&wl4=aud-430887228898:pla-384651596300&wl5=9007796&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=113500888&wl11=online&wl12=23636236&veh=sem&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-vCZ5aCq5gIVDHiGCh1m8wPKEAQYAyABEgIGefD_BwE

this is also fun addition

The Pool Guarding Gator
https://www.hammacher.com/product/pool-guarding-gator?cm_cat=ProductSEM&cm_pla=AdWordsPLA&source=PRODSEM&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-vCZ5aCq5gIVDHiGCh1m8wPKEAQYASABEgJIXfD_BwE

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DJVWVF8/ref=sspa_dk_detail_2?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B07DJVWVF8&pd_rd_w=KaeBA&pf_rd_p=45a72588-80f7-4414-9851-786f6c16d42b&pd_rd_wg=Do9AR&pf_rd_r=BNTVKPTV3GZ1GYH8BDK3&pd_rd_r=ed8373f8-3849-4b94-a6a9-cfad42eb048a&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUE3UlA0QkFONkU5TUEmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA3ODIyODIxMVFLNTRWQkhUNTcxJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA1NzEzMTdBV0Q2TEQ1NkpPOFImd2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9kZXRhaWwmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl

Invest in the infant swim safety course. They teach kids as young as six months to flip on their back and float - it's amazing to watch.

We had friends do this many years ago and the logistics were challenging (if I remember correctly the one-on-one lessons were only 10 minutes long but they had to go something like 5 days/ week) - but the hassle would be worth it in your case.

You can see the cool videos here of baby's flipping over on their back and 1 year old kids able to swim to side of pool:

https://www.infantswim.com/lessons/isr-lessons.html

My parents have an in ground pool with a locked fence with an alarm, door beeps, cameras and a pool alarm. Now that my kids are grown, they don't use the pool alarm anymore.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry if I missed it, but they don't have a fence? Every FL home I've visited ( a lot) have fences, so much that I thought it was a law.

The law requiring 2 blockades between the house and the pool is new and applies to new builds and resales. So, my FIL's 30 year old one owner house and pool does not have a fence (we live in FL).

OP...don't do it. Don't leave them there. Drownings happen all.the.time. here. I have a 5yo, and my IL's just can't be trusted to lock the back screen door, nor the sliding glass door to the lanai. They also don't lock the outside door to the pool cage. She just does not go there without me or dh. She doesn't swim (yet) but my IL's kid (dh's half bro 20-something) 'swam like a fish at 4' so they think all kids can. You'd be shocked at how many people I've met that are so casual about their pools! DD does NOT spend time at the IL's without me or dh, that's how it is and I don't apologize for it.

I love living in FL but I am absolutely paranoid about all the pools here! I didn't put in a pool in my new home, no way! I would never have a moment's peace.

No effing way.

We have the fence that is pictured first. We had it installed when we moved in. It’s called Katch-a-Kid but no idea if that’s local to us (DFW). It latches automatically. They had to drill holes in the concrete around the pool. It can be removed—we did it once when we had a huge party with a lifeguard. It was easy for my husband to take out and put back in by himself. Pretty sure it cost $$$.

They have covers you can walk on. Ones that essentially turn the pool into a usable surface, like a basketball court. Otherwise I would hold firm on this one.