Anonymous wrote:^^^ no sir. You pick up the damned kids. You can stop behaving like you are married and still be a Dad.
Jfc. Separate your disdain for your spouse from your children

No you do not. You leverage where you can. It doesn't sound like his kids were being hurt. He just made his exwife leave work to do the chore. You think he's supposed to be picking up all the slack while she's screwing some other guy?

You're a cuck.

^^^ no sir. You pick up the damned kids. You can stop behaving like you are married and still be a Dad.
Jfc. Separate your disdain for your spouse from your children

My now exwife didn't come home one Saturday about 6 years ago. She refused to answer any questions whatsoever for the following week

So, I stopped behaving like we were married. Stopped picking up the kids, stopped taking them to practice, stopped taking out the trash, stopped doing the laundry, stopped grocery shopping, stopped cooking dinners and packing lunches- stopped doing 'my 'duties.' She was tryng to make partner and her work load was overwhelming, to put it mildly. She worked 80 a week for almost two years.

She couldn't keep up with everything and eventually called the police and claimed I'd shoved her. I've never touched a woman in my life.

I'd been sitting in the basement watching Bugs Life with our daughter when FCPD walked in and asked me to turn around. They cuffed me in front of my daughter. I'd never been arrested in my life. At this point I didn't even know why they were in my house. I stayed totally calm and I think that's what let the cops know she was a lying whore.

Turned out she had been at her HS exbf who was in town for Christmas. We divorced (obviously) but the thing that gets me most is she actually put my life in danger. People like me in that situation get shot by cops all the time. Each time you interact with the police the likelihood of it gong badly for you increases.

Long story short- document extensively f for nothing else than your defense in future interactions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t want to call the police but what do you want to do? Are you a man or a woman? Are there kids involved?

Good point, sorry for my heteronormative assumption, OP.

What difference does it make if it’s a man or woman?

It affects the level of danger OP is in. If the wife is threatening with a gun, the danger is the same. In a fistfight, the smaller, weaker party is in more danger. That’s just an objective fact that might affect what OP does next.

Not all wives are physically smaller and weaker than their DH.

Totally, our former neighbors were this profile and one evening the cops were called because we could hear her beating the crap out of him. He was crying like a little baby, we could literally here this through the walls of our row house. She was horrible. Very large, mean, and I have no idea why he stayed with her.

Anonymous wrote:You need to call the police.

I made the mistake of thinking that the courts would take me seriously when I presented photos and dates. Turns out they only want police and hospital reports. This is why I have to share custody of my minor child.

Please. Nobody would care about that with a woman either. You can document it but from what I’ve seen of how domestic violence victims with much worse injuries than a bruised lip, it won’t matter. Or maybe it will because you’re a man.

Anonymous wrote:I’m actually quite surprised at the consensus here saying not to call the police. This is a double standard because a female op would have been urged by more people to call the police, or leave.

But, we already know that double standards exist, right? Im a woman btw.

Many/most are saying call the police. But you can keep looking for a problem here.
I hit my husband once. I was he’d called the police. Likely would have been the first step in a much needed divorce. Now- I just hope he falls off ladders ect or wins the lottery. That way we can split & he’d be able to afford child support. Right now it’s be like squeezing water from a rock.

I’m actually quite surprised at the consensus here saying not to call the police. This is a double standard because a female op would have been urged by more people to call the police, or leave.

But, we already know that double standards exist, right? Im a woman btw.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, once you open up the can of worms....

Know that there is a 50% chance you will be arrested too.
Whether or not someone is arrested is entirely dependent on who’s version of events the cops believe.

Especially if there were no witnesses present.

It's "whose."

You're welcome.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to call the police. The only evidence I have is a slight fat lip. Probably not enough to get her escorted off the property.

What was the reason for the fight? I don't condone violence--EVER--but if you did something like had unprotected sex with another person and then unprotected sex with your wife (putting her at risk for things like HIV) then you might be able to understand her level of anger.

Yes, once you open up the can of worms....

Know that there is a 50% chance you will be arrested too.
Whether or not someone is arrested is entirely dependent on who’s version of events the cops believe.

Especially if there were no witnesses present.

Anonymous wrote:If you do call the authorities, know that whatever happens to your wife may eventually be out of your hands.

She likely will go directly to county jail + it may be up to you to bail her out.
Then if the police decide to press charges, she CAN be charged even if you don’t want her to be.

Just some food for thought if you will....

Why would OP not want her to be charged? If it's true, she should be charged.

You need to call the police. You should have done it hours ago, though.

If you do call the authorities, know that whatever happens to your wife may eventually be out of your hands.

She likely will go directly to county jail + it may be up to you to bail her out.
Then if the police decide to press charges, she CAN be charged even if you don’t want her to be.

Just some food for thought if you will....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to call the police.

I made the mistake of thinking that the courts would take me seriously when I presented photos and dates. Turns out they only want police and hospital reports. This is why I have to share custody of my minor child.

Don't call the police. They will lock you up too and then you have an arrest on your record. Mine dragged me down 2 flights of stairs and scratched his own elbows while doing so.
It was he said, she said type of thing for the police and they took us both. The kid luckily went to a relative who happened to come by. He would've gone to the state otherwise.
I had already moved out and previously talked to domestic violence unit about my ex being physically abusive. Didn't matter at the moment he attacked me again. He got scratches and I got take in also. He was 300 pounds and I was 130. We share custody, but not because of any of this. Shared custody is what they try to do if possible.

Yep men should never call the police for domestic violence.

Op, what do you want? Do you know?