Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Socially it is a disaster. Sorry. Until the kid turns 18 everything is potentially a crime. Have a beer? Providing alcohol to a minor. Do anything sexual, a via rite of statory rape crimes can be committed.

My daughter attended a SLA and the nice 16 year old on the floor two doors down from her room left after a term. She hated not being able to do much of anything socially.

This is really important. Personally I don't think a 16 year old should be in an environment where it's probably illegal for you to date any of your peers.

It’s not illegal to date a 16 year old. It’s illegal to have sex with a 16 year old. Huge difference.

Yes, but lets be honest. There's a pretty high chance that two college students who are dating will be having sex. If you don't want your 16 year old daughter to be having sex with an 18 or older boy, sending her away to college probably isn't the best of ideas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Socially it is a disaster. Sorry. Until the kid turns 18 everything is potentially a crime. Have a beer? Providing alcohol to a minor. Do anything sexual, a via rite of statory rape crimes can be committed.

My daughter attended a SLA and the nice 16 year old on the floor two doors down from her room left after a term. She hated not being able to do much of anything socially.

This is really important. Personally I don't think a 16 year old should be in an environment where it's probably illegal for you to date any of your peers.

It’s not illegal to date a 16 year old. It’s illegal to have sex with a 16 year old. Huge difference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started college at 16 out of state (May birthday, too) and it was fine. I never noticed any difference in maturity among my peers. The only times I was acutely aware of the age difference was around drinking and, years later, when all my friends were having huge turning 30 celebrations and I was still two years away.

What about dating guys who were a lot older than yourself?

I’d always dated guys older than me in high school since all of my friends were older than me so college was no different. My age was rarely mentioned. In college age seem to be determined by year (Freshman, Sophomore, Junior or Senior). I don’t think anyone ever asked me my age.

Anonymous wrote:Socially it is a disaster. Sorry. Until the kid turns 18 everything is potentially a crime. Have a beer? Providing alcohol to a minor. Do anything sexual, a via rite of statory rape crimes can be committed.

My daughter attended a SLA and the nice 16 year old on the floor two doors down from her room left after a term. She hated not being able to do much of anything socially.

This is really important. Personally I don't think a 16 year old should be in an environment where it's probably illegal for you to date any of your peers.

Anonymous wrote:I started college at 16 out of state (May birthday, too) and it was fine. I never noticed any difference in maturity among my peers. The only times I was acutely aware of the age difference was around drinking and, years later, when all my friends were having huge turning 30 celebrations and I was still two years away.

What about dating guys who were a lot older than yourself?

Anonymous wrote:Because of foreign travel and schooling from tutors when away, DD skipped two grades in elementary and is on track to graduate high school at just 16 (May birthday). She seems equal in maturity now (9th grade) to her peers/friends. She’s bright but not a genius - she works hard in school and martial arts. She’s very involved in activities, too and is a responsible babysitter. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

She’s been talking a lot about going to California for college.

Just thinking ahead here and hoping someone has experience in this.


Thanks.

You're DD is going to be in an extremely social environment where she will be friends with people who are all legal adults. How would you feel about your 16 year old dating an 18-20 year old boy?

My 16 yr old daughter is headed for the west coast the day she turns 18. She graduates two months before her 18th birthday, if not before. She's already begun networking, setting everything up. She's a hustler. If your kid has been raised to hustle, they'll do just fine. Mine are required to be able to make adult decisions by their 17th birthday. I begin really backing off in their daily life decisions when they're still in elementary. By their 18th bd, I am done. They've got to sink or swim. I went to college at 15. Interesting experience, but incredibly boring. I spent a lot of time in the library. Good luck to your kid, OP.

Gap year or prep school. I went away at 17 which was young but much better than 16. I felt everything was fine academically and socially. My parents often say they wish they held me back when I was younger. Looking at it now from a parent’s point of view, I was dating a 21 year old senior when I was a freshman and living on campus. They don’t know but probably guessed we were having sex and drinking. I loved living away from home but I was going to frat parties regularly as a 17 yo.

Look at Bard College at Simon's Rock.

May Baldwin also has a college program for younger girls.

In both of these, they are with their age peer group.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started just after turning 17 (July birthday). Did very well and graduated at 20. I had been in that grade cohort for most of my school years so it felt normal to me.

This, OP. Your DD will have been with her grade for four years by the time she graduates. It’s not like she’s skipping Junior and Senior year. Plus you said you lived abroad for a while - that can have a very maturing effect on children - travel, culture, language. She isn’t a typical suburban kid. She could easily be happy and thrive.

I agree with this. Her peers are not determined by numerical age, but by the people she will have been with throughout 4 years of high school.
My kids skipped two grades in elementary school. They feel perfectly comfortable with their fellow seniors in high school. They don't have anything against the sophomores in high school who are their age, but they are academically, emotionally, and socially high school seniors, and we are preparing for them entering college next years exactly as if they were 18.

Anonymous wrote:I would think of a year exchange abroad like with Rotary or the American Field Service.

That’s what my cousin did - she graduated HS a year early due to a combination of factors, kind of like OP’s child. She went abroad to, I want to say Chile, for 9 months after HS graduation with Rotary Youth Exchange. Then went to college. If she had went to college right after HS, it would have been as a just turned 17 year old, as her birthday is in August. And no one wanted to deal with the logistics of sending a minor off to college - there were a lot of extra hoops they would have had to jump through.

Socially it is a disaster. Sorry. Until the kid turns 18 everything is potentially a crime. Have a beer? Providing alcohol to a minor. Do anything sexual, a via rite of statory rape crimes can be committed.

My daughter attended a SLA and the nice 16 year old on the floor two doors down from her room left after a term. She hated not being able to do much of anything socially.

Anonymous wrote:I'm another poster who was 16 when I started college, with a birthday at the end of December. I wasn't very mature, but would probably have done okay in out-of-state college. Ended up going to college close to home, though.

+1. I went to a college fairly near home, and I probably would have been better off going further away. I went home more than i should have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started just after turning 17 (July birthday). Did very well and graduated at 20. I had been in that grade cohort for most of my school years so it felt normal to me.

This, OP. Your DD will have been with her grade for four years by the time she graduates. It’s not like she’s skipping Junior and Senior year. Plus you said you lived abroad for a while - that can have a very maturing effect on children - travel, culture, language. She isn’t a typical suburban kid. She could easily be happy and thrive.

.this is very very specific. Lots of 3rd culture kids are raised basically on compounds and exposed to even less of the "real world" than in the burbs bc of the country they live a s work in as expats.

It's 2 full years early IMO. I have a late August bday and was one of the youngest in my peer group starting on my 18th birthday. Plenty of kids are in school for more than just 4 years or take service years etc, she would be ,6 years younger than many seniors and even possible some juniors

Anonymous wrote:I started just after turning 17 (July birthday). Did very well and graduated at 20. I had been in that grade cohort for most of my school years so it felt normal to me.

This, OP. Your DD will have been with her grade for four years by the time she graduates. It’s not like she’s skipping Junior and Senior year. Plus you said you lived abroad for a while - that can have a very maturing effect on children - travel, culture, language. She isn’t a typical suburban kid. She could easily be happy and thrive.