Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looks like a reasonably normal schedule to me. Ours works out the same way except that we have one kid and neither of us need to do work from home. My 9-10 PM is my down time. And we don't go to Church so Sundays are all ours. Mind you we have a kid based activity in the AM.

Ah one kid, that would be nice. Ours are fighting half the time.

Age 12 & 7. Getting independent and do their own laundry, but some learning challenges do homework and school need one on one.

Why throw shade and you can't parent your kids either! To OP- Some things are optional and activities 5 a week sounds a lot. Also maybe try having a different mindset? I find weekends doing laundry and cleaning to be therapeutic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Up your cleaning services so you aren't doing bathroom/kitchen cleaning on weekends.

Teach the 12yo to do laundry and have one night per week that they are responsible for getting their laundry done (whatever night that kid is not in sport/activity).

Apprentice the 7yo into laundry so that they do laundry under supervision on another weekenight.

Set up carpooling with other families in the sport or activities. See if you can't figure out a way to cut down the amount of running around that costs you. Ditto on your school drop-offs -- is there a family nearby ALSO doing two schools? Can you streamline so you swap kids and one family takes the ES kids and one family takes the MS kids?

I'd also try to flex things so you all eat dinner together. That might mean that Sport Kid gets a heavy snack and then leftovers, but the rest of the family sits down to dinner together.

School lunch (or at the least, teach 12 yo to make their own lunch).

12yr and 7yr both fold and put away their laundry, but they are too small to reach inside washer so can't do it end to end.

We carpool when we can, but we live on the edge of our school district, so people tend to passively exclude us from carpools (oops, sorry we are already full). Same with ES/MS -- there just aren't any kids where we live, part of why we dont want to drop sports etc.

They do pack their lunches mostly, except when we make hot lunch.

We are happy to see at least we are "normal" when we feel like we are so inept -- I think most of our DCs friends have SAH or PT working moms, so they have a very different lifestyle and seem so relaxed, have amazing looking homes, and just have more fun. I guess we just don't run into many other FT WOH parents in our area, for whatever reason. They aren't in SACC, they aren't on the sports teams, its kinda mystery!

Wait, what? Too small to reach into the washer? My kids were able to reach into the washer before they were 5. How does your 12 year old manage to do sports?

We have a DEEP top loader washer, I’m 5’5” and barely snag the items from the bottom on my tippie toes. And yeah the kids are short.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Up your cleaning services so you aren't doing bathroom/kitchen cleaning on weekends.

Teach the 12yo to do laundry and have one night per week that they are responsible for getting their laundry done (whatever night that kid is not in sport/activity).

Apprentice the 7yo into laundry so that they do laundry under supervision on another weekenight.

Set up carpooling with other families in the sport or activities. See if you can't figure out a way to cut down the amount of running around that costs you. Ditto on your school drop-offs -- is there a family nearby ALSO doing two schools? Can you streamline so you swap kids and one family takes the ES kids and one family takes the MS kids?

I'd also try to flex things so you all eat dinner together. That might mean that Sport Kid gets a heavy snack and then leftovers, but the rest of the family sits down to dinner together.

School lunch (or at the least, teach 12 yo to make their own lunch).

12yr and 7yr both fold and put away their laundry, but they are too small to reach inside washer so can't do it end to end.

We carpool when we can, but we live on the edge of our school district, so people tend to passively exclude us from carpools (oops, sorry we are already full). Same with ES/MS -- there just aren't any kids where we live, part of why we dont want to drop sports etc.

They do pack their lunches mostly, except when we make hot lunch.

We are happy to see at least we are "normal" when we feel like we are so inept -- I think most of our DCs friends have SAH or PT working moms, so they have a very different lifestyle and seem so relaxed, have amazing looking homes, and just have more fun. I guess we just don't run into many other FT WOH parents in our area, for whatever reason. They aren't in SACC, they aren't on the sports teams, its kinda mystery!

Wait, what? Too small to reach into the washer? My kids were able to reach into the washer before they were 5. How does your 12 year old manage to do sports?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Up your cleaning services so you aren't doing bathroom/kitchen cleaning on weekends.

Teach the 12yo to do laundry and have one night per week that they are responsible for getting their laundry done (whatever night that kid is not in sport/activity).

Apprentice the 7yo into laundry so that they do laundry under supervision on another weekenight.

Set up carpooling with other families in the sport or activities. See if you can't figure out a way to cut down the amount of running around that costs you. Ditto on your school drop-offs -- is there a family nearby ALSO doing two schools? Can you streamline so you swap kids and one family takes the ES kids and one family takes the MS kids?

I'd also try to flex things so you all eat dinner together. That might mean that Sport Kid gets a heavy snack and then leftovers, but the rest of the family sits down to dinner together.

School lunch (or at the least, teach 12 yo to make their own lunch).

12yr and 7yr both fold and put away their laundry, but they are too small to reach inside washer so can't do it end to end.

We carpool when we can, but we live on the edge of our school district, so people tend to passively exclude us from carpools (oops, sorry we are already full). Same with ES/MS -- there just aren't any kids where we live, part of why we dont want to drop sports etc.

They do pack their lunches mostly, except when we make hot lunch.

We are happy to see at least we are "normal" when we feel like we are so inept -- I think most of our DCs friends have SAH or PT working moms, so they have a very different lifestyle and seem so relaxed, have amazing looking homes, and just have more fun. I guess we just don't run into many other FT WOH parents in our area, for whatever reason. They aren't in SACC, they aren't on the sports teams, its kinda mystery!

Ha. Sorry, I was answering the question entirely the wrong way. Yes. This is normal. We have 2 FT working parents and ONE child. We keep a family calendar religiously. Last night we collectively completely forgot to figure out what we were eating for dinner and we had grilled cheese on toast. We took a camping trip last month and the sleeping bags are still in the living room. I haven't had a haircut for six months. This is what life is like.

Anonymous wrote:Up your cleaning services so you aren't doing bathroom/kitchen cleaning on weekends.

Teach the 12yo to do laundry and have one night per week that they are responsible for getting their laundry done (whatever night that kid is not in sport/activity).

Apprentice the 7yo into laundry so that they do laundry under supervision on another weekenight.

Set up carpooling with other families in the sport or activities. See if you can't figure out a way to cut down the amount of running around that costs you. Ditto on your school drop-offs -- is there a family nearby ALSO doing two schools? Can you streamline so you swap kids and one family takes the ES kids and one family takes the MS kids?

I'd also try to flex things so you all eat dinner together. That might mean that Sport Kid gets a heavy snack and then leftovers, but the rest of the family sits down to dinner together.

School lunch (or at the least, teach 12 yo to make their own lunch).

12yr and 7yr both fold and put away their laundry, but they are too small to reach inside washer so can't do it end to end.

We carpool when we can, but we live on the edge of our school district, so people tend to passively exclude us from carpools (oops, sorry we are already full). Same with ES/MS -- there just aren't any kids where we live, part of why we dont want to drop sports etc.

They do pack their lunches mostly, except when we make hot lunch.

We are happy to see at least we are "normal" when we feel like we are so inept -- I think most of our DCs friends have SAH or PT working moms, so they have a very different lifestyle and seem so relaxed, have amazing looking homes, and just have more fun. I guess we just don't run into many other FT WOH parents in our area, for whatever reason. They aren't in SACC, they aren't on the sports teams, its kinda mystery!

Up your cleaning services so you aren't doing bathroom/kitchen cleaning on weekends.

Teach the 12yo to do laundry and have one night per week that they are responsible for getting their laundry done (whatever night that kid is not in sport/activity).

Apprentice the 7yo into laundry so that they do laundry under supervision on another weekenight.

Set up carpooling with other families in the sport or activities. See if you can't figure out a way to cut down the amount of running around that costs you. Ditto on your school drop-offs -- is there a family nearby ALSO doing two schools? Can you streamline so you swap kids and one family takes the ES kids and one family takes the MS kids?

I'd also try to flex things so you all eat dinner together. That might mean that Sport Kid gets a heavy snack and then leftovers, but the rest of the family sits down to dinner together.

School lunch (or at the least, teach 12 yo to make their own lunch).

Outsource house cleaning.
Buy groceries online.
Sign kids up for bus drop off or try to find car pool for school and activities.

I would also skip church on Sunday, that eats up the whole day!

This is similar to us. I do the early-morning work (7-4, every other Friday off), husband does daycare and elementary before-care dropoff and works 9-5:30. I cook quickly, always a 30 minute meal, and we are done eating by 6:30. We don't do any kid activities on weeknights. The elementary schooler has two activities on Saturdays (one sport, one music). We do church Sunday morning and have Saturday afternoons and Sunday afternoons for fun, errands etc. We do one chore each night (clean bathrooms, vacuum, etc.) We do laundry by family-member loads, not combined, so there's less sorting later. DH and I fold laundry while watching TV at night.

The major thing that's helped (and we've changed after it was too crazy in the past!) is the no weeknight activities. This is a huge lifesaver, and aftercare (school ends at 4, I pick kid up at 5) counts as an activity in my kid's eyes because it's fun.

Anonymous wrote:This looks like a perfectly normal schedule for two full-time jobs and 2 kids. And it's exhausting. I've come to the conclusion that there isn't a RIGHT way to do it. It's going to be a crunch still no matter how you tweak it.

Agree. That is a typical dual income house with kids unless you get a nanny.
You get used to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how old are the kids? why do they need two hours (one parent each) of parent-supervised homework?

aftercare

fewer activities (can't be out every night)

Well that time is not all homework, it’s also just spending time with the kids as well we are all doing some chores (going through field trip forms or putting events on the calendar.

Kids are already in aftercare over an hour, and they don’t get homework done b/c the study space is disruptive.

Fewer activities? One rec sport and one music lesson each? We already feel like failing parents who don’t have their kids do anything. They never have play dates b/c they all seem to happen after school with the SAHM set adhoc coordinating.

Is that the real secret? FT working parents work, pick up kids when after care closes, and literally that’s it for every day of the week?

For us the issue is there is no buffer, so if something hiccups it’s a domino for work and home life, and we want more downtime at home for our kids — hence an afternoon sitter would be great.

Yes. Most of my friends are FT working parents, and the kids go to aftercare from 3:15-5:00 or 6:00. Our school has some enrichment activities that they can sign up for, but sometimes they are just at aftercare, playing with their friends. Sometimes I will pick them up at 3:15 and they immediately ask if they can play with their friends on the playground, leaving me to wonder why I picked them up early in the first place.

You don't say how old your kids are, I guess that could make a difference. But I think you are making things harder on yourself by trying to pick them up early. You also seem to spend a lot of time on errands and cleaning. Get a house cleaner for deep cleaning. Order groceries for delivery. After dinner have one parent deal with homework while the other cleans up. Then have one parent do bedtime while the other lunch preps. If you are more efficient with your time you will all have more downtime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how old are the kids? why do they need two hours (one parent each) of parent-supervised homework?

aftercare

fewer activities (can't be out every night)

Well that time is not all homework, it’s also just spending time with the kids as well we are all doing some chores (going through field trip forms or putting events on the calendar.

Kids are already in aftercare over an hour, and they don’t get homework done b/c the study space is disruptive.

Fewer activities? One rec sport and one music lesson each? We already feel like failing parents who don’t have their kids do anything. They never have play dates b/c they all seem to happen after school with the SAHM set adhoc coordinating.

Is that the real secret? FT working parents work, pick up kids when after care closes, and literally that’s it for every day of the week?

For us the issue is there is no buffer, so if something hiccups it’s a domino for work and home life, and we want more downtime at home for our kids — hence an afternoon sitter would be great.

You are not failing because your kids are doing 2 activities. If your kids are happy with what they are doing then you are fine.

Most of my friends who are FT working parents don't have the flexibility that I do and they are picking their kids up from after care as after care closes. They are not thrilled with it but their jobs are 9-5 so that is when they work. Plnty of parents do it, if your kids are in after care already and you think you need the time, then take it. Most of my friends whose kids are in after care seem to like it because it is essentially a play date for them.

We do play dates but we do them on the weekend. Normally on Sunday during sports season. Outside of the sports seasons we will do play dates on Saturday or Sunday or even both. DS loves it and we have time to get stuff done or relax a bit.

Two FT working parents means that something is going to give some where. For me it means a little bit less, ok a lot less, down time to chill and relax. Our house a bit more cluttered then we would like but that is ok because come 9 PM all I want to do is chill and not worry about cleaning up.

Honestly, it sounds like you have a good routine. My Husband and I each make sure that we have time to do something solo during the weekend. DH plays tennis, I chill at my favorite coffee shop and read/play games/relax.

The alternative is that one of us stays home or works part time and neither one of us wants the income drop. We both like our jobs. I want DS to do his activities and have as close to a SAHM type childhood. That is on me, he didn't ask for it. I want to give it to him so that means that I make some sacrifices. I am cool with that.

Anonymous wrote:how old are the kids? why do they need two hours (one parent each) of parent-supervised homework?

aftercare

fewer activities (can't be out every night)

Well that time is not all homework, it’s also just spending time with the kids as well we are all doing some chores (going through field trip forms or putting events on the calendar.

Kids are already in aftercare over an hour, and they don’t get homework done b/c the study space is disruptive.

Fewer activities? One rec sport and one music lesson each? We already feel like failing parents who don’t have their kids do anything. They never have play dates b/c they all seem to happen after school with the SAHM set adhoc coordinating.

Is that the real secret? FT working parents work, pick up kids when after care closes, and literally that’s it for every day of the week?

For us the issue is there is no buffer, so if something hiccups it’s a domino for work and home life, and we want more downtime at home for our kids — hence an afternoon sitter would be great.

Anonymous wrote:The military times and use of "lite" and "nite" is just too much for me.

The commute is the worst and you know it.

Half hour commute is the wrst? Isn’t that the close 2 norm?

The military times and use of "lite" and "nite" is just too much for me.

The commute is the worst and you know it.

how old are the kids? why do they need two hours (one parent each) of parent-supervised homework?

aftercare

fewer activities (can't be out every night)