Yes, the kid could have been 8. I have a tall kid who people regularly think is 2-3 years older than his actual age.

The kid was probably more interested in your older kid, who you said is 7. So he thinks he's interacting with a same age peer. Not preying on your 4 year old.

More than likely, the kid is just friendly.

I don't get the waiting game to see what happens and then putting your kid in a gotcha moment and making him cry. Walk over right away when the "10 year old" starts talking to your kid and just go with the kids with the boy and see what he wants to show them.

And then later on, if you are concerned about them going off somewhere without you, cover the topic in a non-accusatory way and don't make it seem like they did anything wrong and freak them out.

My first thought is that a kid 10-11 (or even 8 and tall for his age) who found something cool would likely not be interested in sharing it with a 4-yo unless that kid has some problems.

We had a neighbor for awhile whose 10-yo would show up at 1 in the morning asking if my DS (8) could come out and play. I had also (honestly) never heard the term "road rash" until I heard it from this kid. Found out he would start little fires in his basement. Found out from the principal of the ES that his mom had terminal cancer--only it turned out that was a lie. I reported to cops when the kid bragged about wearing a "boot knife" to another neighbor kid--and then learned other neighbors were afraid of the mom, who sat in her driveway using CB radio all the time. The kid wanting to show someone's 4-yo something cool could be that kid.

Always go with your gut. Always.

We weren't there. But if something seemed off to you then that's all that matters.

Anonymous wrote:A 10 year old boy with poor social skills is not inherently suspicious, no. You were standing right there! Do you believe he wanted to molest your children?

So you succeeded in frightening your kids. Why not just go with? Or ask him to tell you what he wanted to show them?

I k so you didn’t mean to Op, but now you freaked out your kids. I would have gone with my kids to see the cool thing if there was one.

Not suspicious, but I wouldn't have allowed it either. I don't let my young kids out of my sight in public settings.

Anonymous wrote:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger

Whatever. Literally no one on this thread has suggested that OP allow her children to go off out of sight with a child she and they do not know. What most people are suggesting is that there is a big, big world between "slightly awkward friendly boy" and "sociopathic child killer", and that the most helpful response would have been for Op to engage the boy in a nonthreatening way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suspicious for what? Geek potential?

Seriously

+everything

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the thing that was really cool?

We’ll never know.

Dead possum?

Anonymous wrote:What was the thing that was really cool?

His weiner.

I would have joined the conversation and said "Oh, what cool thing? Let's go see." And when the child showed you the caterpillar/dead squirrel/secret garden/funky flower/whatever is cool to a curious child, I would have thanked him.

As for your kids, as far as they were concerned they were with you and so assumed you were watching them.

OP, you missed an opportunity. Maybe this was an awkward kid who wanted to be friendly. You could have helped by asking "what's so cool?" and then explaining that since your kids were little you needed to come, too. Maybe this was a boy who found something dangerous and didn't know the right way to handle it? It would have been great if you had seen it to find out what it was.

Or maybe this was a kid who either wanted to hurt other kids or was being used by someone to lure kids. Engaging with him could have given you more information about whether he was harmless, or whether something suspicious might have been happening. Maybe he needed help. Maybe you needed to call the police and report it. There is no way to know now.

the problem with the "trust your instinct! trust your gut!" approach is that some people like OP seem to have an altered/paranoid view of reality/normal social interactions with other children.

the fact that you scared your own child so much he was crying shows you way overreacted to a perfectly normal situation.

OP- your son wasn't crying because he was scared. He heard your tone and thought he was in trouble with you. I would have asked to go see the "cool" thing with my kids.