Anonymous
11/20/2019 08:07
Subject: Re:Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get that they don’t need to respond immediately but it has been more than 1 week. Some don’t even open the invitation until days later.
This happened to us too. We had our evite out and there was this one mom who didn't even bother to open the evite for a week. But another kid's evite was sent out and she immediately responded to that one. Since my kid was invited too I could see when she responded.
Then when our evite reminder got sent 3 days prior to the party she opened our evite, again no response. Day before the party she responded No. Her kid and mine aren't friends really. We just returned the invitation since ours was invited to a whole class party for her kid. If she knew she was going to say No, why not just open it and say No right away?
You have too much time on your hands.
Actually some of us were raised to be considerate of other people and have manners. Two qualities many people lack in today's world for some reason. When I get an invite I respond within a couple of days after coordinating schedules with my spouse. It's ridiculous that people have so much going on they cannot commit to a party a few weeks in advance. What is actually happening is they are waiting for something better to come along (since a lot of people are insecure and have FOMO) or they'd rather prioritize sports or family commitments over other activities.
Anonymous
11/20/2019 07:56
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly a mom whose oldest (and probably only) is a preschooler.
Wait a few years, OP. You'll see.
We are heavily into sports and other activities. You absolutely know sports schedules except maybe if your team gets to the finals. If you have multiple kids its no excuse for ignoring. Just decline. If you have more kids, you need to be more organized and figure it out and stop relying on others.
This is not always true. My kids have been in leagues where the games are always on a Saturday, but the times and locations are announced the week of.
So, you give a maybe depending on sports.
oh please. OP inquired why people wait instead of answering as soon as they open an invite. Why is OP monitoring when people open invites? Why does he or she care if I answer right away as opposed to a few days after opening? If I know that I'm going to have a definitive answer in a reasonable timeframe, I see no reason to immediately respond with a maybe. How does that help with regard to the legit concerns about number of guests and food?!?
Agree. Back in the old days of a paper invites, you would have no way of knowing when someone got that envelope in the mail and opened it. This is information OP isn't really owed and should ignore.
OP, list an rsvp date and relax until then. By all means follow up if you don't hear at that point one way or another. But stalking who has opened the invite and how long it takes to respond is unproductive and unnecessary.
Anonymous
11/20/2019 07:54
Subject: Re:Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have a family of four with one driver. My wife is visually impaired and cannot drive. So, every week, our weekend schedule is dictated by who needs to be where and when everything that needs to be done can be done. We wait until the last minute to RSVP to anything so that we can figure out the time jigsaw puzzle of when we can get to the store that closes at 1pm and what time the car shop opens. I have gone and done the family shopping at 11pm on a Friday night so that we can make it to a birthday party. So, it isn't a lack of respect for the host, but a matter of logistics. List an RSVP date. I will answer by the requested date, but it is unlikely that I will respond before then if I can help it so that I can make sure that if something comes up that completely rearranges the weekend schedule comes up, then everything can still work. And unfortunately, sometimes if something urgent comes up that can only happen at one time, it may shift the entire weekend schedule around and we may have to miss a birthday party. Sorry, but not sorry.
Why not contact the host and see if they can help?
NP but the host is usually the last person I go to because she is so busy with the party. I think it's rude except in the case of a good friend (or my kids' very good friends) to ask the host to help with driving. I find my carpools through other parents going to the event.
Anonymous
11/20/2019 02:34
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly a mom whose oldest (and probably only) is a preschooler.
Wait a few years, OP. You'll see.
We are heavily into sports and other activities. You absolutely know sports schedules except maybe if your team gets to the finals. If you have multiple kids its no excuse for ignoring. Just decline. If you have more kids, you need to be more organized and figure it out and stop relying on others.
This is not always true. My kids have been in leagues where the games are always on a Saturday, but the times and locations are announced the week of.
So, you give a maybe depending on sports.
oh please. OP inquired why people wait instead of answering as soon as they open an invite. Why is OP monitoring when people open invites? Why does he or she care if I answer right away as opposed to a few days after opening? If I know that I'm going to have a definitive answer in a reasonable timeframe, I see no reason to immediately respond with a maybe. How does that help with regard to the legit concerns about number of guests and food?!?
Anonymous
11/20/2019 02:25
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly a mom whose oldest (and probably only) is a preschooler.
Wait a few years, OP. You'll see.
We are heavily into sports and other activities. You absolutely know sports schedules except maybe if your team gets to the finals. If you have multiple kids its no excuse for ignoring. Just decline. If you have more kids, you need to be more organized and figure it out and stop relying on others.
This is not always true. My kids have been in leagues where the games are always on a Saturday, but the times and locations are announced the week of.
So, you give a maybe depending on sports.
Anonymous
11/20/2019 02:24
Subject: Re:Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:We have a family of four with one driver. My wife is visually impaired and cannot drive. So, every week, our weekend schedule is dictated by who needs to be where and when everything that needs to be done can be done. We wait until the last minute to RSVP to anything so that we can figure out the time jigsaw puzzle of when we can get to the store that closes at 1pm and what time the car shop opens. I have gone and done the family shopping at 11pm on a Friday night so that we can make it to a birthday party. So, it isn't a lack of respect for the host, but a matter of logistics. List an RSVP date. I will answer by the requested date, but it is unlikely that I will respond before then if I can help it so that I can make sure that if something comes up that completely rearranges the weekend schedule comes up, then everything can still work. And unfortunately, sometimes if something urgent comes up that can only happen at one time, it may shift the entire weekend schedule around and we may have to miss a birthday party. Sorry, but not sorry.
Why not contact the host and see if they can help?
Anonymous
11/20/2019 00:34
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly a mom whose oldest (and probably only) is a preschooler.
Wait a few years, OP. You'll see.
We are heavily into sports and other activities. You absolutely know sports schedules except maybe if your team gets to the finals. If you have multiple kids its no excuse for ignoring. Just decline. If you have more kids, you need to be more organized and figure it out and stop relying on others.
This is not always true. My kids have been in leagues where the games are always on a Saturday, but the times and locations are announced the week of.
Anonymous
11/20/2019 00:22
Subject: Re:Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
We have a family of four with one driver. My wife is visually impaired and cannot drive. So, every week, our weekend schedule is dictated by who needs to be where and when everything that needs to be done can be done. We wait until the last minute to RSVP to anything so that we can figure out the time jigsaw puzzle of when we can get to the store that closes at 1pm and what time the car shop opens. I have gone and done the family shopping at 11pm on a Friday night so that we can make it to a birthday party. So, it isn't a lack of respect for the host, but a matter of logistics. List an RSVP date. I will answer by the requested date, but it is unlikely that I will respond before then if I can help it so that I can make sure that if something comes up that completely rearranges the weekend schedule comes up, then everything can still work. And unfortunately, sometimes if something urgent comes up that can only happen at one time, it may shift the entire weekend schedule around and we may have to miss a birthday party. Sorry, but not sorry.
Anonymous
11/19/2019 22:50
Subject: Re:Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get that they don’t need to respond immediately but it has been more than 1 week. Some don’t even open the invitation until days later.
This happened to us too. We had our evite out and there was this one mom who didn't even bother to open the evite for a week. But another kid's evite was sent out and she immediately responded to that one. Since my kid was invited too I could see when she responded.
Then when our evite reminder got sent 3 days prior to the party she opened our evite, again no response. Day before the party she responded No. Her kid and mine aren't friends really. We just returned the invitation since ours was invited to a whole class party for her kid. If she knew she was going to say No, why not just open it and say No right away?
You have too much time on your hands.
Anonymous
11/19/2019 21:57
Subject: Re:Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get that they don’t need to respond immediately but it has been more than 1 week. Some don’t even open the invitation until days later.
This happened to us too. We had our evite out and there was this one mom who didn't even bother to open the evite for a week. But another kid's evite was sent out and she immediately responded to that one. Since my kid was invited too I could see when she responded.
Then when our evite reminder got sent 3 days prior to the party she opened our evite, again no response. Day before the party she responded No. Her kid and mine aren't friends really. We just returned the invitation since ours was invited to a whole class party for her kid. If she knew she was going to say No, why not just open it and say No right away?
Anonymous
11/19/2019 21:52
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I usually RSVP by the date it says to , even if I read it I need to make sure someone will be available to bring the child since I have 4 kids.
I feel bad for you kids that they don't get to do things individually as transportation is a huge issue.
Oh, no this isn’t what I meant. I just mean looking at a calendar to make sure there’s not a swim meet or a gymnastics meet , if 2 kids have 2 things and a parent has to be at each one then yeah I might have to see if their grandma or aunt that is going to be watching them wants to bring them to this party if it isn’t a drop-off party. I still RSVP but it takes more time to coordinate than just RSVPing yes as soon as I open an invite. They do plenty of things individually, the oldest is of driving age.
Anonymous
11/19/2019 20:09
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:As a host, I can clearly see who open the invitation but they just don’t respond. Why do ppl do that?
Wait- OP, are you taking about people who don’t respond at all, or people who wait until closer to the “reply by” date? These are two totally different things. The first thing is rude, and the second is clearly fine. And if you are talking about the second one, what is the issue?
Anonymous
11/19/2019 20:04
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly a mom whose oldest (and probably only) is a preschooler.
Wait a few years, OP. You'll see.
We are heavily into sports and other activities. You absolutely know sports schedules except maybe if your team gets to the finals. If you have multiple kids its no excuse for ignoring. Just decline. If you have more kids, you need to be more organized and figure it out and stop relying on others.
Oh in that case, can you please provide me my middle kid’s winter basketball game schedule please? The coach doesn’t have it yet but i would love it!
Dp here. My oldest just started Science Olympiad and he has been put in 3 events. Each team meets twice per week so 6x per week. Each team has 2-3 kids only so he has to be there.
So we have been invited to a few parties in December that we haven’t RSVPd for yet.
Anonymous
11/19/2019 19:57
Subject: Re:Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:You should set and RSVP date and it would be nice if people could try their best to meet it.
People don’t respond immediately for a whole host of reasons.
Yes, agree wholeheartedly with responding by RSVP date. I almost never respond immediately due to reasons already given but set a reminder to reply by the specified date. Am not sure why OP would find this problematic. If he or she needs a headcount earlier, then the RSVP date should be set accordingly.
Anonymous
11/19/2019 19:53
Subject: Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly a mom whose oldest (and probably only) is a preschooler.
Wait a few years, OP. You'll see.
We are heavily into sports and other activities. You absolutely know sports schedules except maybe if your team gets to the finals. If you have multiple kids its no excuse for ignoring. Just decline. If you have more kids, you need to be more organized and figure it out and stop relying on others.
Oh in that case, can you please provide me my middle kid’s winter basketball game schedule please? The coach doesn’t have it yet but i would love it!