Because it’s the politically correct and socially acceptable sport to play here in my part of nova. Others? Maybe they are looking for some admission edge to some slac in New England.

I put my now 16 yr old DS in soccer when he was 3 as a way to tire him out.

13 years later, he still plays (varsity HS, top level club) because he has a talent for it, he enjoys it, he's very competitive.

And he's too short to play high level basketball, his real first love.

It depends on the kid’s age. Younger ages, we wanted our kids to be active so they had to pick a sport or physical activity each season. Middle school, it’s often about what are the friends doing. But by the time the kids are 15, they need to be choosing the higher level play and higher intensity for themselves. Parents can’t make a teen put in the outside practice and fitness work necessary to maintain a spot on a high level team, kids have to choose that for themselves. Or maybe I should say that if a parent continues to drive the kid in that area rather than the kid driving themselves there will be therapy bills to pay in a few years. People may not see it in their own kids, but in my experience, at U15 and above it’s really easy to see who on the field has the fitness and technical skill that requires individual, outside work and who does not. My kid plays at the level where she plays because that’s what she wants to do. I’m glad we’re able to support that drive. And i have only one child, the youngest, who is that driven, the rest are active teens and young adults but not self motivated in a team sport in the same way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a good question, but no one will say the reason why about half of the kids (3/4ths of the girls) play -- "because me and the husband are super competitive and want to watch our little Suzy kick some other kid's arse."

I don't know any parents who push their kids into travel soccer. I have a competitive, sporty kid who loves it -- and thus I love it for her. Maybe I look like the people you describe, but I love watching her do something she loves. I'm pretty sure that's the case for everyone else. There's no way you could really do this if it wasn't kid lead.

+1 My son is a U13. If you are able to make your U13 kid train 4 days a week, plays game(s) on the weekend practically year round...your son is actually a big mindless pushover. My kid plays because he wants to. Sure I might be able to make him play rec to run around one day a week to burn energy by threatening to take away his phone, but there is no way I would be able to make him do what he does. Maybe this is a rec thing where half are pushed into it...and, if so, so what. They need exercise.

PP here. Exactly. There is no way a person could get their kid to work this hard if their kid really wants to be doing other things.

OP, I think you are trying to correlate loud, aggressive parents with parents who are forcing their kids to play. I don't think such a correlation really exists. I think parents find themselves emotionally involved in lots of areas of their kids lives and soccer is just one where you see it all on display. It doesn't mean that these kids aren't self-motivated.

Maybe you’re right. Related, though, to the fact that you “see it all on display” - the kids see it all on display, too. They see that their parents care, that their parents are overjoyed when they score a goal, livid when a ref misses a call, etc. In a lot of homes, a kid brings home an A+ on a test and gets a “good job, honey” while a goal pulls Mom and Dad out of their chairs and gets them acting like fools (myself included)...that has to have a psychological effect that keeps some kids coming back, even if they aren’t living and breathing soccer. Just my observation, but it seems to me that there are a good number of kids (in travel as well as rec) that don’t watch or follow soccer, don’t play much pick up, don’t often touch a ball when they have free time, and it makes me think that they aren’t in it for themselves. It’s parents or it gives them a social identity, etc.

If soccer (or being good at sports) gives them a social identity, is that a negative thing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a good question, but no one will say the reason why about half of the kids (3/4ths of the girls) play -- "because me and the husband are super competitive and want to watch our little Suzy kick some other kid's arse."

I don't know any parents who push their kids into travel soccer. I have a competitive, sporty kid who loves it -- and thus I love it for her. Maybe I look like the people you describe, but I love watching her do something she loves. I'm pretty sure that's the case for everyone else. There's no way you could really do this if it wasn't kid lead.

+1 My son is a U13. If you are able to make your U13 kid train 4 days a week, plays game(s) on the weekend practically year round...your son is actually a big mindless pushover. My kid plays because he wants to. Sure I might be able to make him play rec to run around one day a week to burn energy by threatening to take away his phone, but there is no way I would be able to make him do what he does. Maybe this is a rec thing where half are pushed into it...and, if so, so what. They need exercise.

PP here. Exactly. There is no way a person could get their kid to work this hard if their kid really wants to be doing other things.

OP, I think you are trying to correlate loud, aggressive parents with parents who are forcing their kids to play. I don't think such a correlation really exists. I think parents find themselves emotionally involved in lots of areas of their kids lives and soccer is just one where you see it all on display. It doesn't mean that these kids aren't self-motivated.

Maybe you’re right. Related, though, to the fact that you “see it all on display” - the kids see it all on display, too. They see that their parents care, that their parents are overjoyed when they score a goal, livid when a ref misses a call, etc. In a lot of homes, a kid brings home an A+ on a test and gets a “good job, honey” while a goal pulls Mom and Dad out of their chairs and gets them acting like fools (myself included)...that has to have a psychological effect that keeps some kids coming back, even if they aren’t living and breathing soccer. Just my observation, but it seems to me that there are a good number of kids (in travel as well as rec) that don’t watch or follow soccer, don’t play much pick up, don’t often touch a ball when they have free time, and it makes me think that they aren’t in it for themselves. It’s parents or it gives them a social identity, etc.

Our 8 year old son lives and breathes soccer.

Plays all the time (at school, after school, on rec and travel teams, in the house) religiously follows the Premier League, talks about soccer endlessly.

I played growing up thru the end of HS and enjoyed it (and was above average) but never followed professional soccer and have started following it so I can have a conversation with DS about it.

He also happens to be very good at it and is very high energy so it is a great fit (he also loves baseball but baseball is so much slower) and I presume there is some chicken and egg stuff here where the attention he gets for being good fuels some of his passion.

We struggled with whether it was worth throwing all the time and money into travel and how he'd respond but it feels like he's really found his space and crowd and we'll need to accept a lot of weekends spent driving out to the suburbs for games.

My DS enjoys it and I love the bonding time we get to spend together. Oddly enough I am concerned with the time travel soccer takes away from academics and next year I want to at least consider doing Rec instead. I mentioned it briefly and DS told me he would quit before doing Rec. lol. I laughed but will seriously consider the investment in travel soccer long term but do want him to be engaged is a sport.

Anonymous wrote:I married into a soccer family. They all played growing up, some of them in college. They watch every level of soccer on TV, go to most local games, go to World Cups when they can, etc. They are all nutty about it, and once our kids came along, so were they. I have slowly become a fan of the game, and definitely enjoy watching my kids play team sports, which I never did.

As for them, I think they get out of it all the things that anyone who loves playing a sport gets out of it.

Similar- but mine is the nutty soccer family. We all played travel, college, one pro. Dad coached. It was the sport I loved and I throw a football like a girl so it’s the sport I played with my boys since they first started walking. They are athletic and played multiple sports young—but soccer has stuck so far. They are both in middle school.

It’s crazy around here—but I learned from friends so are other youth sports. Better the crazy you know I guess...

Not true. I exercise regularly but I also love to read and veg etc. I have two boys who would literally play sports 24 seven if they could.


Even if you do nothing else, you give them access to balls, teams, practices etc. You are still nurturing them even if all you do is arrange others to drive them to practice and games and sign them up for sports. It seems automatic to you, but you are still nurturing them to continue. Despite the fact that you claim to be reading and exercising all day, you set up the parameters where your kid can be interested in sports and that is the parent component. If you say no we aren't playing sports anymore because _______ (fill in your answer), that would be the not nurturing.

Anonymous wrote:People that have to ask these questions just don’t understand kids who are wired to love sports. Nothing more to it.


Nature nurture my friend. Somewhere along the line you are nurturing it as well. Are you telling us you hate all sports and you never watch them on TV and your kid asked to play travel and you said No because you decided to put family time in front of one of your child's needs? It's not just the kids, it is you too or your kid would be on a rec team or playing at recess.

Not true. I exercise regularly but I also love to read and veg etc. I have two boys who would literally play sports 24 seven if they could.

Because I’m a SAHM who lives in North Arlington

She loves the sport, the friends, and the competition. I played, my wife didn’t. We had her play rec when she was 8 and she’s loved it ever since, even into the Uber competitive leagues. She can quit anytime she likes (it’ll save us the money and time, believe me), but she won’t. Maybe she’ll play in college maybe not. But she’ll enjoy playing until she can’t.