Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who did this twice. Spouse still has no idea it wasn't a surprise to both at birth.

I find this an incredibly weird marriage dynamic.

I get doing it but I don't get telling others about it. I would take it to my grave!

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who did this twice. Spouse still has no idea it wasn't a surprise to both at birth.

I find this an incredibly weird marriage dynamic.

I did this. We did not find out for child #1 and that was the plan for child #2. But, at routine ultrasound that DH was not at, tech let it slip. I never said a word and behaved surprised at the birth.

I think it could work in your circumstances. I have friends that tried this and what gave it away was the name discussion. The DH found out and never slipped up, but he readily agreed to whatever girl names his wife suggested, but he would go back and forth on the boy name discussion since he knew it was a boy. If you have names already, maybe it would work.

Anonymous wrote:I never understood the need to know. Whatever it is, you’re going to take it home, right? And in the beginning the baby will just wear onesies and neutral clothing anyway, then keep growing.

I never understood the desire not to know. It's a surprise no matter when you find out.

I never understood the need to know. Whatever it is, you’re going to take it home, right? And in the beginning the baby will just wear onesies and neutral clothing anyway, then keep growing.

I have a friend who did this twice. Spouse still has no idea it wasn't a surprise to both at birth.

I had friends who did this successfully for a while. After a few weeks the dad decided he did want to know after all. Keeping the secret was NBD for my friend, second kid.

FTM here. This thread is right on time for me because we received our gender results today. My husband is dead set on finding out the gender while I want to be surprised. I like the suggestion of agreeing on a pronoun or gender neutral name and using that going forward. My hubby is a VAULT so other than total strangers, he should be able to keep this to himself lol

My cousin and his wife did this. He knew and kept he secret.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One parent wants to find out the sex, the other does not. The parent who does not is fine with the other finding out, but does think it would be more special to find out together at birth. Has anyone successfully found out and kept the secret the whole time?

Whichever is carrying is the one who gets her choice.

What is it about this thread that makes people unable to read? There is no disagreement. They are trying to see if it's possible for one to know and one to not know, or if that's more trouble than it's worth. Where does it say they are trying to decide to find out or not find out?

Anonymous wrote:One parent wants to find out the sex, the other does not. The parent who does not is fine with the other finding out, but does think it would be more special to find out together at birth. Has anyone successfully found out and kept the secret the whole time?

Whichever is carrying is the one who gets her choice.