Anonymous
11/14/2019 10:20
Subject: Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Anonymous wrote:MIL had a gigantic "grandma' shower with over 40 guests to which I (the mother of the child) was not invited.
You win!
Anonymous
11/14/2019 10:18
Subject: Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Anonymous wrote:I wonder how all of you will react with your future daughter in laws.
While I often see DILs posting some petty stuff on here, you can't actually think that most of the crazy stuff posted here is okay for a grown woman, can you? I know that if I am lucky to live long enough to have a DIL I will never act like this. My MIL faked a serious illness and blamed me for it.
Anonymous
11/14/2019 09:18
Subject: Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
She "gifts" me her old costume jewelry; gave DH an open costco pack of toothpaste (2 out of the 6 were gone - the box was taped shut with masking tape).
Anonymous
11/14/2019 09:16
Subject: Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
She watched our cats at her house on one of our vacations and then told me the cats didn't want to come back to us.
Anonymous
11/14/2019 08:41
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
In traditional Australian aboriginal culture, mothers in law and daughters in law do not communicate/interact directly but is done through third party (usually son) Prevents lots of problems
As one of the oldest cultures on earth we can certainly learn something from this practice!
As one of the oldest cultures on earth we can certainly learn something from this practice!
Anonymous
11/14/2019 03:56
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
My mother in law once gave me a knit winter hat for my Birthday. Inside if was full of gray hairs!! Used dirty hat. She once said right to my face and in front of my,kids, she thinks of all the other women DH COULD have married! So very painful, DH did nothing, still afraid of his Mommy. However, he is a wonderful husband, father and loves me to pieces. We don’t see in-laws that often, so I just ignore and go on through my life. Still it does make me sad.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 22:20
Subject: Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
My MIL successfully convinced DH that it wasn’t really my first Mother’s Day because I hadn’t had the baby yet, and getting me a present or otherwise acknowledging the day to me would just be a depressing reminder that I was still pregnant.
I was a week and a half overdue.
I was a week and a half overdue.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 20:29
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
My MIL attended the fundraising auction for DD’s elementary school. The kids each drew adorable self-portraits. My MIL bought DD’s and we would not have gotten it if not for my DH who stepped in and said no way. Maybe this sounds silly, but it’s one instance in a long series of overstepping boundaries.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 20:24
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Mine creates false issues and blames me for them.
Examples:
I didn't invite her to my bridal shower (I never had one due to family illness and she KNOWS this)
I didn't let her come to pick out my wedding dress (I never picked out a wedding dress and used a family one. She KNOWS this)
I didn't invite her to DS 2nd birthday party (we never had one. she KNOWS this)
It is every little thing, all of the time. She makes up being left out of events that NEVER even happened and she knows they didn't happen because we told her "This isn't happening" "Remember that DIDNT happen" But she continues to play victim and tells extended relatives I hate her and exclude her from our lives.
Why doesn't your DH tell her about these events that never happened? I lucked out with a MIL that overall is pretty chill, but any thing where a pushback is required, DH handles, same with when my mom needs to be handled.
Not PP, but I imagine the DH in these cases is so used to this kind of behavior, that it’s all in the noise unless it directly affects them. Not to mention the family members eventually come to realize the MIL is full of it.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 20:21
Subject: Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Pardon the repeats, as I've posted these before on dcum.
We had a small, local wedding. Guests were limited. MIL angry that we had a set number (church held 100) and chose to invite random coworkers over her relatives out of state.
So, unbeknownst to us, MIL had wedding announcements printed and sent to all the relatives. Sent while we were away on on honeymoon.
Announced at her retirement party that she'd now be "raising her new GC." Never the plan. I was there and had to stay composed.
MIL sent her own "grandparent announcement" card announcing our first baby. This was prior to social media announcements.
For years, sent out holiday cards with photo of herself holding DC. As DC got older, we were included, but she'd insist that DC sit on her lap for photo card.
We had a small, local wedding. Guests were limited. MIL angry that we had a set number (church held 100) and chose to invite random coworkers over her relatives out of state.
So, unbeknownst to us, MIL had wedding announcements printed and sent to all the relatives. Sent while we were away on on honeymoon.
Announced at her retirement party that she'd now be "raising her new GC." Never the plan. I was there and had to stay composed.
MIL sent her own "grandparent announcement" card announcing our first baby. This was prior to social media announcements.
For years, sent out holiday cards with photo of herself holding DC. As DC got older, we were included, but she'd insist that DC sit on her lap for photo card.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 20:02
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
My MIL told my husband to go back to the office right after our first baby was born. She told him that she doesn’t understand why I need him to drive me to the baby’s 48 hours post discharge pediatric appointment and be present at the appointment with me and the baby. She told him I was incompetent and didn’t have enough good girlfriends to help out with these things. She also told me that the reason I struggling with proper latch while breastfeeding was because I wasn’t holding my nipple like cigarette in the baby’s mouth. I have not spoken to her in over a decade.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 19:24
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Anonymous wrote:Mine creates false issues and blames me for them.
Examples:
I didn't invite her to my bridal shower (I never had one due to family illness and she KNOWS this)
I didn't let her come to pick out my wedding dress (I never picked out a wedding dress and used a family one. She KNOWS this)
I didn't invite her to DS 2nd birthday party (we never had one. she KNOWS this)
It is every little thing, all of the time. She makes up being left out of events that NEVER even happened and she knows they didn't happen because we told her "This isn't happening" "Remember that DIDNT happen" But she continues to play victim and tells extended relatives I hate her and exclude her from our lives.
Why doesn't your DH tell her about these events that never happened? I lucked out with a MIL that overall is pretty chill, but any thing where a pushback is required, DH handles, same with when my mom needs to be handled.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 19:20
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Mine creates false issues and blames me for them.
Examples:
I didn't invite her to my bridal shower (I never had one due to family illness and she KNOWS this)
I didn't let her come to pick out my wedding dress (I never picked out a wedding dress and used a family one. She KNOWS this)
I didn't invite her to DS 2nd birthday party (we never had one. she KNOWS this)
It is every little thing, all of the time. She makes up being left out of events that NEVER even happened and she knows they didn't happen because we told her "This isn't happening" "Remember that DIDNT happen" But she continues to play victim and tells extended relatives I hate her and exclude her from our lives.
Examples:
I didn't invite her to my bridal shower (I never had one due to family illness and she KNOWS this)
I didn't let her come to pick out my wedding dress (I never picked out a wedding dress and used a family one. She KNOWS this)
I didn't invite her to DS 2nd birthday party (we never had one. she KNOWS this)
It is every little thing, all of the time. She makes up being left out of events that NEVER even happened and she knows they didn't happen because we told her "This isn't happening" "Remember that DIDNT happen" But she continues to play victim and tells extended relatives I hate her and exclude her from our lives.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 18:57
Subject: Re:Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Anonymous wrote:Mine is a trifecta of attention seeking/control freak/geriatric toddler.
She is constantly chattering, whispering criticisms of everything, and giving unsolicited instructions for everything and so on. If it comes within her range of vision, she has.a comment on how it should be done differently. In the kitchen and someone opens a drawer? She peers inside and immediately starts suggesting better ways to organize the items or comments that these should be a different drawer closer to stove. Kids wearing footie pajamas? She comments that these really are not practical because if their legs grow faster than the rest of their body then they won't fit anymore while footless PJs would still will fit. We like entertaining and hosting holidays but she really ruins it when we host DH's family. She send lists and lists of instructions as if we are idiots. Some of my favorites have been - make sure to open the door when the bell rings -don't forget to use oven mitts when you take the turkey out of the oven or they include little digs about past years other others -don't use an orange table cloth like Claudia did it looked so tacky or -check the silverware this year, last year I saw a spot on one spoon.
She is one of those people who is 100% certain of whatever she is saying or doing even though she has no idea what she is saying or doing.
This woman delights in over stepping boundaries and delights in it as if its a game. She thinks she is so cute with her little girl giggles and stupid sayings. She will extend invitations on our behalf for other relatives to sleep at our house without telling us. She will volunteer us to do things for other relatives without telling us. The oddest thing was that she gave one of our fake floral arrangements to a cousin who commented on how much she liked it. It was a very large and expensive thing. Cousin just walked out the door with it saying thanks quickly as she left. I was like WTF and MIL piped in "Oh I gave that to Susan. She liked it so much and was too thrilled when I gave it to her she just squealed and then I squealed too! I just can't help being a little elf."
If she doesn't get her away she pretends that she never heard the no. She simply brings it up again only this time as statement. It starts as an invitation that we decline. The next time its when you bring the kids over on the 16th to meet my book club don't forget to dress them in those adorable little outfits that I bought them. We have to say we did not agree to bring the kids to your book club and then she does the pout pout face and literally will stomp her foot. She hates me because I once told her that grown women should not stomp their feet.
Omg, south Asian posted here and yes, this is DH’s mother as well.
Anonymous
11/13/2019 18:55
Subject: Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do
Anonymous wrote:When my husband's old girlfriend got divorced, she called DH to tell him that "katie" was back on the market again -- you know, in case he wanted to divorce me and our four children in order to pursue her, I guess.
What do these people think?
My MIL once told my husband in front of me how beautiful women in his hometown are and that he should come and see the dresses they wear, how they walk, how they take care of themselves - unlike in the area where we live.