I teach at a half day preschool and above the 2s class, we don’t wipe (and are, in fact, not allowed to per our licensing). We take the class to the bathroom As a group, so if I have 7 kids in the girls bathroom and all of them need help wiping, that means I would have to change gloves and then wash my hands 7 times —and while I’m doing that there would be nobody watching to make sure the other kids are washing hands and not running out of the bathroom. So they wipe themselves.

You would be surprised what kids are capable of doing at that age but have no idea how to do because parents don’t expect it of them. This includes cleaning up after themselves (throwing away their own trash, putting away toys), putting on their own shoes, putting on their own coats and hats, even washing their hands—some kids just stare at me and let the water run on their hands with no soap, no knowledge of rubbing hands together, no knowledge of how to dry hands on a paper towel...now that’s horrifying to me. There’s no way parents are asking them to wash their hands after each bathroom trip if their knowledge of hand washing is really this low! But when I get a kid who does poop at school I will talk them through the process with how much paper to get and how to check if you get a clean wipe. Even my really short students with short arms can do it. We usually tell parents “Karla popper today, you might want to check” and if my kid had a horrible accident —I’m not a monster, I’ll call someone from the office to cover my class and I’ll clean that’s kid up of course, but it detracts from my time in the classroom if I had to wipe all the kids.

Your kid is capable, op! You can teach her and she will get it eventually! But the time to start teaching is definitely now.

The thought of my child or any child for that matter, walking around with a “poo caked butthole” as pp so eloquently phrased it, is horrifying.

I tell dd to ask for teachers to help her when she goes number 2 at school. She is 3.5.

I’m thankful the teachers are willing to do it but realize this will need to work itself out before kindergarten.

Anonymous wrote:3.5 wipes himself at school, with minimal to occasional success.

I still wipe him at home.

Same here. On nights there is no bath (no daily bath due to eczema) I often will wipe with a baby wipe as part of bedtime routine.

My kids don’t poop at school. If they do, they do an adequate job but sometimes have streaks in underwear. This is first graders.

I let DS try at 3 and then I ask him to touch his toes so I can help him, but I do let him try first. My older DDs could do it a lot better at about 5. Now, getting them to flush is an entirely different challenge.

I let my almost 3 year old wipe himself and then I do it again to make sure he's clean. Let the kid practice!

Mine was 22 when i stopped

My oldest learned at 3. My second is about to turn five and I am just finally making him try it. Pretty sure he just doesn’t poop at school. He tends to have messier poops, and honestly I have been afraid that having him wipe himself will result in a much bigger mess than just some skid marks.

Anonymous wrote:My just-over three year old is potty trained, except I wipe his butt when he poops. A few days ago he said he wanted to wipe his own butt and I said no, and he said his teacher sometimes has him wipe his butt at school.

I was horrified, because it doesn't seem like he is old enough to do it properly, but am I off base?

How can you tell child is ready to start doing this? Is there a particular age when this is recommended?

You’re way off base and have zero reason to be horrified. All the preschools we looked at and the one we chose insisted the kids be able to toilet themselves completely. DS was just 2.5 when he started and was able to wipe himself.

My DD has tried wiping since the beginning. She's pretty good, but we still help and she's 5 now. She has crazy sensitive skin, so if it's not perfect her skin gets irritated (worse in the summer with the heat, too). They will not help her at school (which is appropriate), but we follow up after school. Even when her undies look clean, her skin can get irritated. If your child has sensitive skin (e.g., very prone to diaper rash), you'll want to help out for a while.