Agree with what others have written, but you also need to be realistic with your expectations. Your child will never be as good in your home country language as you are unless he speaks at home, with friends, school, university, and as a grown up consistently. He/she may learn it, but maintaining into adulthood is a completely different ballgame.

Anonymous wrote:We spoke both languages in our home. Rule was you had to respond in the language you were addressed. Saying something in the other language would just result in your parent going on and on in their language mistaking what you said for something really funny.

Child (in the wrong language): Water, please.
Parent (in the right language): What? You want to take a bath now?
Child (laughing, in the right language): no, water to drink!
Parent (in the right language): oh that is so funny, I thought you wanted a bath! Are you sure you don't want a bath?

My dh was the master of this. The kids were in elementary school when they told me that they suspected dh understood them all along.

To add, I knew someone else who did this kind of thing but just moved at the speed of molasses if the kid used the wrong language. If they used the right language, she would jump up and respond right away. It worked for her kids. Also if these are not your kids then YMMV.

We spoke both languages in our home. Rule was you had to respond in the language you were addressed. Saying something in the other language would just result in your parent going on and on in their language mistaking what you said for something really funny.

Child (in the wrong language): Water, please.
Parent (in the right language): What? You want to take a bath now?
Child (laughing, in the right language): no, water to drink!
Parent (in the right language): oh that is so funny, I thought you wanted a bath! Are you sure you don't want a bath?

My dh was the master of this. The kids were in elementary school when they told me that they suspected dh understood them all along.

1 pack home town food for daycare lunch. That’s what I did .
Only cook your hometown food at home. Start now.
The reason I pack food for my DS to daycare was not because I wanted him to eat my hometown food so badly, but because daycare he went to only serve cold and preserved food. Hate for him to eat them. I only know how to cook my hometown food not nice western food.

2 ignore when he speak English to you. When he does speak English, I will tell him that we will speak our language in the house and he can speak English outside. Strictly speak only your language with him.

My DS is six years old now. Speak both English and Thai fluently wo accent. He eats a lot of Thai food easily. Now we get to have him try those hot food when he’s ready.

Anonymous wrote:You do t get anything to drink unless you pronounce it “wooder” and we have cheesesteaks once a week.

— Philadelphian

That’s right, that’s how it’s done!

My SIL was a SAHM who only spoke to her kids in her native language. She also only speaks to my brother in her native language and so the main language when they are all home together is the native one. Despite this her kids refuse to speak it. They answer her in Englisj and when they are all together the parents speak in the native language and the kids speak in English. They all understand both languages.


My SIL is so frustrated as they have family who visit who don't understand or speak English and the kids don't really communicate with them. The kids do like the food my SIL cooks but the language has been an issue all along.

Anonymous wrote:You do t get anything to drink unless you pronounce it “wooder” and we have cheesesteaks once a week.

— Philadelphian

+1000000000!

+1 to many of the suggestions about how to instill language.

The one thing I wanted to caution is making any sort of issue at all about the food from your home country.

At some point, child who rebelled against their family's cultural food will turn into a teenager or college student who will come back home begging for homemade meals.

But if it becomes a sort of fighting or ongoing battles, then the food doesn't get wrapped up in warm memories, but rather negative associations of fighting with family, power struggles, etc.

Just don't worry about it and know that kids will come back to those culinary roots.

I distinctly remember being a kid and wanting the American food over my mother's cooking. As an adult, her home country's food is all I crave.

They say that quickly children conform to their peers - if you want a child to continue in the ways/language of the parents' home country, the best thing to do is to surround them with other immigrant kids with the same background/language.

We are doing this too. I try very hard to only speak my native language with dd. She also sees grandparents once a week who speak to her in jt. Lots of books and cartoons. And the biggest one if all is that we had a nanny who only spoke that language and she now goes into daycare/preschool in that language and speaks to kids in it. I think that's the biggest piece. Having her speak to other children in a language that's not English. So maybe find an activity or Sunday-Saturday school environment? Good luck. It's hard.

I’m still working to reduce the New Jersey in my DH and he hasn’t lived there for 30 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do t get anything to drink unless you pronounce it “wooder” and we have cheesesteaks once a week.

— Philadelphian

Love this! I am married to one and he ‘warshes’ clothes with ‘wooder’. Ha!

My god that's how my Philadelphia born and raised parents still speak, and they have not lived there for 50 years!

Anonymous wrote:You do t get anything to drink unless you pronounce it “wooder” and we have cheesesteaks once a week.

— Philadelphian

Love this! I am married to one and he ‘warshes’ clothes with ‘wooder’. Ha!