Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have one and have zero regrets. It sounds like someone wants to make it special for you, though, which is really sweet and kind. Make the best of it.

Just curious - did you get gifts? I have been to many showers and I'm really not a huge fan of them, but I would have gladly given a gift if there was no shower.

I got some gifts (from friends that is - family gave us a slew of gifts) - not a ton. Which was fine with me. We got lots of hand me downs and bought whatever else we needed. I had no desire to be feted in exchange for presents.

Not, pp but I just want to say a number of my friends have created registries but not had a shower. They do NOT email around the links asking for gifts but parents are aware and if aunt so-and-so or a friend asks about a present its there.

I did this when my out-of-state friends from grad school announced they had adopted a baby. I wasnt invited to a shower, it wasnt practical for me to go but I search their name on Buy Buy Baby and Amazon and sure enough found registries; I sent something from the registry and something else I picked out that suited their tastes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have one and have zero regrets. It sounds like someone wants to make it special for you, though, which is really sweet and kind. Make the best of it.

Just curious - did you get gifts? I have been to many showers and I'm really not a huge fan of them, but I would have gladly given a gift if there was no shower.

I got some gifts (from friends that is - family gave us a slew of gifts) - not a ton. Which was fine with me. We got lots of hand me downs and bought whatever else we needed. I had no desire to be feted in exchange for presents.

This thread proves that you cannot win on DCUM? OP, tell the person who is hosting how you feel and ask her to tone it down and that you prefer to open presents later.

I felt the same way about ours (now a decade ago). We struggled with infertility and had a difficult pregnancy loss; many of our friends didn't know. It turned out to be lovely and I so appreciated the kindness of my friend who hosted it. Everyone loves a baby and it's nice to feel some of your community around you as you prepare to welcome yours. I trust you'll feel that love on Saturday and hope you'll be able to enjoy your friends wanting to support you. As we get older, so much of our joy in life becomes intertwined with loss and grief and I think it's a mark of wisdom and age that we can come to a place of content acceptance about it.

Anonymous wrote:OP said that she was worried about being overwhelmed and emotional b.c she doesn't like attention and is grieving. Gets labeled ungrateful.

PP isn't happy because her friend is cheap and isn't throwing a fancy enough shower....and uh.....that's OK?

Apparently, yes.

Op I hope things go well on Saturday. It's an emotional time. Cry if you feel like it.

I don't like attention either. My stomach knots up.