Anonymous wrote:Congrats OP! I’m doing my first DE transfer later this month and I have benefited from this thread, thank you to all.

Good luck! My fingers will be crossed for you.

OP - you are giving the gift of life TO someone else. This is not about you. The more you can make this not-about-you and what you-you-you lost, and more about giving, the better.

You can grow to love this baby and still mourn and feel upset about the genetic link. Life isn't either/or and black and white. Emotions are messy and complicated.

Have you done any therapy? I'd imagine that would help.

OP we tried for 8 years then had DE baby. After all those failures it’s hard to bond. You keep expecting another failure and try to protect yourself; ie not love them so much. Many mixed up feelings. Once born it was a new world. Love DC so very much. And very appreciative of this baby.