Anonymous wrote:I would rather my friends invite me over or bring dinner over than a freezer meal. Why don't friends want to visit with me and my newborn? Stop dropping off frozen food.

Lots of parents do not want visitors in the early days, so a lot of us assume others feel the same way.

A friend asked what night was best for us and then dropped off a fresh baguette, homemade butternut squash soup and a turkey meatloaf so delicious we got the recipe and started making it ourselves regularly. It was fresh, easy to reheat the next night and very thoughtful. (Our baby was in the NICU so there was no baby at home to visit with—and we were sad and exhausted so the quick chat and food drop off was super thoughtful.) Not sure it counts as a “freezer meal” but it checked the same basic convenience boxes.

Foodhini, if in DC

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people want to pretend to care about their friend and her new baby when just doing the bare minimum and dropping off food. Caring means you come in and meet the baby and ask how I'm doing. I had a few people who wouldn't even come inside and would only stand in the entry. I remember crying because I'd never felt so alone and friendless.

Agree, helping would be staying for an hour or two and letting me have a nap.

Dropping off food is so thoughtful! Someone took time out of their day, away from their family, sat in awful DC traffic and delivered you a meal that they either prepared (grocery shopped, cooked and delivered!!!) or picked out for you. There are so many new moms who feel uncomfortable immediately after having a baby -- worried about who is vaccinated, if their boobs are leaking, learning how to breastfeed in front of your friends, why their incision is itching, etc -- you just can't win. If you stay, you need to give space, if you make a quick exit, you're doing the bare minimum. But these posts do highlight that everyone is different.

Who knows what the answer is, but for my in-town friends I prepare a meal and offer to drop it off or stay and visit. I've ordered Uber Eats for friends who live in other cities and that has worked out perfectly. If you are set on a freezer meal, there's an italian food brand that Whole Foods sells named "Severino." When I was PP, I always kept a couple in my freezer and they are actually very good. And they aren't huge so they don't take up valuable freezer space.

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Anonymous wrote:Send your friend a nice robe. Prepared foods are so easy to get now. No one wants frozen food.

+1. Nobody wants a freezer meal.

I wish the custom was to send people who are 38 weeks pregnant freezer meals instead of newborn people. Once the baby is out I am FREE. But that last month of third tri is an agonizing slog.

38 weeks pregnant, still working, and totally losing it here...yeah. With you. (It's not my first so i don't want to hear any "just wait until the baby's here" - at least then no one will be expecting me to metro to work and back every day.)

That said, wow y'all are ingrates. I'm always appreciative of ANY help people offer unprompted, even if it's not my first choice of a meal I didn't prepare myself.

Agreed!

This. Jesus, you people are rude.

Eh. I appreciated the gesture and was so very thankful that people cared and thought of me. But was I going to actually eat your tuna noodle casserole (example of the kind of thing people brought me)? Not a chance, sorry.

I loved any and all food. But I couldn't take multiple freezer meals at once because our freezer is kinda small.

But I loved any and all food. Yes, even the random Dominos gift card got used and was LOVED.

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people want to pretend to care about their friend and her new baby when just doing the bare minimum and dropping off food. Caring means you come in and meet the baby and ask how I'm doing. I had a few people who wouldn't even come inside and would only stand in the entry. I remember crying because I'd never felt so alone and friendless.

Agree, helping would be staying for an hour or two and letting me have a nap.

I think a lot of people want to pretend to care about their friend and her new baby when just doing the bare minimum and dropping off food. Caring means you come in and meet the baby and ask how I'm doing. I had a few people who wouldn't even come inside and would only stand in the entry. I remember crying because I'd never felt so alone and friendless.