Anonymous wrote:Whoever has the most flexibility on the day in question takes the kid. We try to keep it somewhat proportional to the demands/usual flexibility of our work.

Same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband couldn’t even name my child’s dr. Or dentist. Or orthodontist. Or probably even the vet.

What a loser.

Same with mine. The divorce was a shock to his system.

Of course. He's a pediatrician, so almost always handles doctors visits, in fact. I wonder if OP thinks he should not be a pediatrician because he's a man? Or if it is only the parent aspect of a doctor's appointment that her husband's penis prevents him from doing?

WTH? Of course it's OK. I'm a control freak, so I want to go to all the well exams/specialists, but I 100% make DH take kids to sick appointments/follow ups/etc. He also takes them to the dentist. He drops them off and picks them up from school sometimes. The other day he even took my 3 year old to her BALLET CLASS!!!

Also, he makes dinner most days and cleans the toilets.

LOL. I sent DH alone with DS2 and a bottle for the 6 week check up so I could nap. I told him just to call me if the doctor had any questions he couldn't answer. Apparently the nurses couldn't stop talking about it and treated him like a god.

DH now handles all of older DS's doctor appointments because of puberty and DS1 is less embarrassed to have him there. I suspect DS2, now 11, will follow suit shortly. Assuming your DD is still young enough that they won't be discussing development and her period, I would let DH get comfortable doing it, too. When your daughter is older I would consider her preference more strongly.

Of course. DH is the main parent. I only go if something is really wrong.

We share these...depending on what we each have going on at work, how busy it is, how much time off we have etc...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband couldn’t even name my child’s dr. Or dentist. Or orthodontist. Or probably even the vet.

What a loser.

Seriously. Do you not worry about what would happen to your kids if you died?!? How people live such one-sided lives baffles me. I've seen it with a wife whose husband died and she didn't even know where they banked.

This would be my husband, if something happened to me. He works a high stress job, and long hours. His brain is seemingly taken up by that. He knows what activities DD is involved in, for instance, but has not a clue what her actual schedule is. He'll be all 'Oh, I'm coming home early today, we can do XYZ tonight', and I'm the one that's 'Ummm... you do realize that DD has X at 5:30 and when we get home, she has to study for the two tests she has tomorrow, because Fridays are test days'. And she has been doing X on the same day, at the same time for 3 years. He's generally absent minded; even gets lost on his way home, because he's deep in thought, and misses the exit.

He doesn't sound "deep in thought" he sounds like he has no thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband couldn’t even name my child’s dr. Or dentist. Or orthodontist. Or probably even the vet.

What a loser.

Seriously. Do you not worry about what would happen to your kids if you died?!? How people live such one-sided lives baffles me. I've seen it with a wife whose husband died and she didn't even know where they banked.

This would be my husband, if something happened to me. He works a high stress job, and long hours. His brain is seemingly taken up by that. He knows what activities DD is involved in, for instance, but has not a clue what her actual schedule is. He'll be all 'Oh, I'm coming home early today, we can do XYZ tonight', and I'm the one that's 'Ummm... you do realize that DD has X at 5:30 and when we get home, she has to study for the two tests she has tomorrow, because Fridays are test days'. And she has been doing X on the same day, at the same time for 3 years. He's generally absent minded; even gets lost on his way home, because he's deep in thought, and misses the exit.

Anonymous wrote:Is it normal in anyone's family for your DH to take your child to a doctor's appointment? I've been a sahm and have taken care of most of the doctor appointments and I am now transitioning into the work force and have tried to get DH to take DD for a routine doc appt. He's not eager, my DD wants me to go and now I'm just wondering if I'm asking too much from DH and DD? What is ok, what's not when it comes to "mothering"?

Start by taking him and her so he can see how it is done. My dh could not take off for appts for years and so he was stressed out when he first started doing it since he did not know anything, and he hates not knowing stuff. The offices ask questions he wasn't sure about (does she need any vaccinations today? do you need a sports physical form?). It bugged him a lot to not know the answers. Now he can do it but we only have one HSA card (not sure if this is applicable in your situation) so we make sure whoever is going has the card and knows what a typical copay is.

There is a learning curve with this stuff and you should do this appt with them so that you can hand it off to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still baffled by the pp whose husband can't name the kids doctors. How completely uninvolved of a husband do you have to have?!? Dh is in a completely inflexible job. He does not do appts unless it's his day off. He cannot do sick days/snow days/whatever unless it's a day off. He cannot leave work early unless it's an actual emergency. He still knows DS' doctor's and dentist's names.

I’m sure my ADHD husband can’t tell you their names. He knows where the dentist/pediatrician/and specialists offices are. He does take her to the doctor regularly- I prefer to do the specialists and pediatric check ups because I’m a nurse but he has done them. I’ll usually send him with a list of meds and any questions we have.

Bottom line- yes he can and he does but I give him a little direction.

ADHD Mom here. I have to look up his Doctors Name every time I fill out paper work. I start by googling the practice name and then look at the Doctors Bio page. That is not because I don't take my child to the office but because we don't go often enough that the name fully sticks with me. It is how my brain works. I know everyone at works first name, we all wear badges with our first names, but hardly anyones last name. We don't use them often and they are not on badges. (shrugs) DH does nt give me direction but will remind me of the Doctors name and what floor the office is on in an email because he knows I forget that type of stuff.

My DH takes our son to appointments on a regular basis. I tend to handle the dentist because I make those for after school when I am home from work and DH is not. But he knows the Dentist and has taken DS for a few cavities that needed to be filled at a pediatric dentist when DS was younger. We swap off on vet appointments as well.

We email each other a list of questions that we might have and send an email with the answers. I have to remind my husband that I like to know DS height and weight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband couldn’t even name my child’s dr. Or dentist. Or orthodontist. Or probably even the vet.

What a loser.

Seriously. Do you not worry about what would happen to your kids if you died?!? How people live such one-sided lives baffles me. I've seen it with a wife whose husband died and she didn't even know where they banked.

Anonymous wrote:I'm still baffled by the pp whose husband can't name the kids doctors. How completely uninvolved of a husband do you have to have?!? Dh is in a completely inflexible job. He does not do appts unless it's his day off. He cannot do sick days/snow days/whatever unless it's a day off. He cannot leave work early unless it's an actual emergency. He still knows DS' doctor's and dentist's names.

I’m sure my ADHD husband can’t tell you their names. He knows where the dentist/pediatrician/and specialists offices are. He does take her to the doctor regularly- I prefer to do the specialists and pediatric check ups because I’m a nurse but he has done them. I’ll usually send him with a list of meds and any questions we have.

Bottom line- yes he can and he does but I give him a little direction.

I'm a fed and still in the hole with sick leave from maternity leave. DH has done all of the sick leave and doctor's visits with both of our two kids.

Anonymous wrote:My husband couldn’t even name my child’s dr. Or dentist. Or orthodontist. Or probably even the vet.

What a loser.