Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kids that no one ever puts their GPA on a resume and employers don’t ask for it.

Let me introduce you to a little-known relationship between high school achievement and college selection.

Go ahead, I will enjoy. If your kid is smart enough they will get into a perfectly fine school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are somewhat judgy and don’t reflect my experience as a teenager nor my kid’s feelings now. Some people react to the stress of high school by needing vacation time to be low key. Why not respect that? Especially if you’re going to have a grandparent really supervising. Take the younger kids and let your hard working teens chill!

+1 DH and I have been talking about a trip to Ireland for spring break and my HS kid asked if we could postpone that to the summer because she knows with her busy schedule what she really wants is a week to just hang out at home.

Another +1

OP, you said in another post that you're sad that this might be the last big spring break vacation, it's the first trip in two years, etc. We get that sadness, but frankly, it's not about your emotional response but about what's best for your high schoolers that week, so close to exam time.

Your older kids are asking to prep for exams that actually do matter for their eventual college options. They are hearing about exams and studying all day, every day in their classes -- believe me, they are getting that message ALL the time. Assuming you know your own teens well enough to know they really do plan to study--let them do just that. It's dangling temptation under their noses to take them to Jamaica with you them basically say. "Spend the days how you like, including studying, as long as you join us for dinner." Sounds nice but it's actually undermining their studying because they're at the beach, for goodness' sake.

They knew the destination was Jamaica yet still told you they want to stay back home. Why not respect that and let them stay? I think maybe you aren't getting how stressful AP and other exams are.

Someone will pull the usual DCUM "family matters more than anything else so they must go" card here. But part of family life is recognizing when "we must do this as a family" only increases someone's stress, however fun the trip might seem.

This is just such an unhealthy pressure for kids. If kids feel so much pressure already in September to not go on vacation in seven months, something is seriously wrong. It makes me feel that they need a break forced on them!

I think OPs solution is great, kids come, get some family time and have time to study if they want to.

It's also teaching them about balance and possibly time management.

No teen can study 8 hours a day for a week and have it be productive -- and no teen should feel the need to study that much. Please stop adding to the stress of teens by encouraging this type of thinking!

My experience is many teens spend 3 hours talking or complaining about studying for every 1 hour they actually study.

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are weird. Or you take crappy vacations. My college aged kids still vacation with us.

I come from a "healthy" family. My mother was passive aggressive towards my dad to the point that vacationing with them was miserable. Teens don't always enjoy their parents' company. Not saying OP is to blame, but sometimes teens need space.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are somewhat judgy and don’t reflect my experience as a teenager nor my kid’s feelings now. Some people react to the stress of high school by needing vacation time to be low key. Why not respect that? Especially if you’re going to have a grandparent really supervising. Take the younger kids and let your hard working teens chill!

+1 DH and I have been talking about a trip to Ireland for spring break and my HS kid asked if we could postpone that to the summer because she knows with her busy schedule what she really wants is a week to just hang out at home.

Another +1

OP, you said in another post that you're sad that this might be the last big spring break vacation, it's the first trip in two years, etc. We get that sadness, but frankly, it's not about your emotional response but about what's best for your high schoolers that week, so close to exam time.

Your older kids are asking to prep for exams that actually do matter for their eventual college options. They are hearing about exams and studying all day, every day in their classes -- believe me, they are getting that message ALL the time. Assuming you know your own teens well enough to know they really do plan to study--let them do just that. It's dangling temptation under their noses to take them to Jamaica with you them basically say. "Spend the days how you like, including studying, as long as you join us for dinner." Sounds nice but it's actually undermining their studying because they're at the beach, for goodness' sake.

They knew the destination was Jamaica yet still told you they want to stay back home. Why not respect that and let them stay? I think maybe you aren't getting how stressful AP and other exams are.

Someone will pull the usual DCUM "family matters more than anything else so they must go" card here. But part of family life is recognizing when "we must do this as a family" only increases someone's stress, however fun the trip might seem.

HS kids wanting to stay home so they can study sounds like something Wally would say to Mrs. Cleaver on Leave it to Beaver to impress her when he really just didn’t want to go anywhere with his dull parents. Maybe you’re not dull but so far you haven’t excited them. Are they spoiled and expect more? We once rented a house in the BVI when ours were in HS and we gave them options - hang out by the pool or here is all the stuff we had planned all of which was very teen friendly. Your challenge is that you also have little ones so you might consider a few activities that are geared for teens and one parent takes care of the little ones. My kids always enjoyed our travels so I never faced your situation but I can tell you they would not have been able to stay home.

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kids that no one ever puts their GPA on a resume and employers don’t ask for it.

Let me introduce you to a little-known relationship between high school achievement and college selection.

My high schooler wants (and needs) to study too. It's a little offensive that all these posters are assuming other intentions.

I prioritize exams and teach members of my family to respect this important time. Actually, I don't need to do the latter because they know this already!

The younger kids can have fun day outings so they don't disturb their older siblings, and you can plan a fun vacation for everyone in the summer.

Tell your kids that no one ever puts their GPA on a resume and employers don’t ask for it.

Anonymous wrote:These responses are somewhat judgy and don’t reflect my experience as a teenager nor my kid’s feelings now. Some people react to the stress of high school by needing vacation time to be low key. Why not respect that? Especially if you’re going to have a grandparent really supervising. Take the younger kids and let your hard working teens chill!

+1 DH and I have been talking about a trip to Ireland for spring break and my HS kid asked if we could postpone that to the summer because she knows with her busy schedule what she really wants is a week to just hang out at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two high schoolers don’t want to go anywhere for spring break. They would rather be hone to study for AP exams. Two younger kids want to go. Would you drag your high schoolers along or just take the kids who want to go?

OP, sometimes a humblebrag just makes you sound stupid. WTF...either you're a gullible parent, your vacations suck, or both.

AP exams are less than a month after break. I don’t think I am the only one with kids stressed about this. I wouldn’t humblebrag about it anyways because most privates don’t do AP, so clearly we are public school schmucks. But thanks for the input.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what you should do or what I would do in this situation, but wanted throw out there, OP, that this isn't necessarily about your parenting or your vacations (man, LOTS of judging up thread!) but rather could just be that two of your kids are homebodies.

My brother was like that - hated all family vacations, and basically stopped going in high school, and now he's 40 with kids and he STILL hates traveling. Literally, since high school, he's taken two work trips, his honeymoon, two funeral trips, two trips to family reunions, and he came to my wedding. Seven trips in 20+ years, beyond that nothing more than a couple hours drive away. Some people don't like traveling and vacations! It's not my style (I love traveling!) but there's really nothing wrong with it.

Sorry, EIGHT trips, apparently I can't count.

I'm not sure what you should do or what I would do in this situation, but wanted throw out there, OP, that this isn't necessarily about your parenting or your vacations (man, LOTS of judging up thread!) but rather could just be that two of your kids are homebodies.

My brother was like that - hated all family vacations, and basically stopped going in high school, and now he's 40 with kids and he STILL hates traveling. Literally, since high school, he's taken two work trips, his honeymoon, two funeral trips, two trips to family reunions, and he came to my wedding. Seven trips in 20+ years, beyond that nothing more than a couple hours drive away. Some people don't like traveling and vacations! It's not my style (I love traveling!) but there's really nothing wrong with it.

Anonymous wrote:My two high schoolers don’t want to go anywhere for spring break. They would rather be hone to study for AP exams. Two younger kids want to go. Would you drag your high schoolers along or just take the kids who want to go?

OP, sometimes a humblebrag just makes you sound stupid. WTF...either you're a gullible parent, your vacations suck, or both.

We want to do two weeks over spring break in Europe with our senior and middle schooler as it may be our last family vacation before college and a job prevents it.
My senior does not want to go. ;(
Reading responses on here, I may ask my sister - their aunt - to come with us as they love spending time with her as "she's sooooo cool!"
Thanks for the idea.