Either hire a nanny or stop having so many kids! An au pair should not be considered for four children

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks, that’s helpful. At the moment we have a babysitter for a couple hours one day a week so I can take a kid to the doctor without having to drag everyone, go to the dentist, etc etc etc. I’d really like to be able to leave Future Baby with whoever we hire, whether or not I actually do, so it seems like an au pair is probably not the right choice. At the same time, I really don’t need 40 hours a week so I’m not sure I’d be a great nanny job either... Hm. What would you suggest?

I bet you could "share" a nanny with someone who has had a full-time nanny but the kids will being going to school and the family now only needs afternoon help. We shared our old nanny with a SAHM who used the nanny in the morning and it was great for everyone. They got someone more experienced than you;d typically get for a 15-20 hour a week job. and we got to keep our nanny and not throw a bunch of money out the window.

Post in the AP forum. You’ll get more realistic answers from current and former HPs.

I think an au pair could work just fine. They aren't going to be looking after all four kids all that often.

The other thing would be to find a nanny share - maybe a family with a nanny for just one kid who would be open to taking your baby part time

I mean, you aren’t even pregnant right? Why overextend yourself? Don’t have more kids than you can handle.

We have a great au pair taking care of our 5 month old and pre-schooler after school hours and I couldn't be happier. They cannot SOLO take care of a baby less than 3 months old. But they can while supervised, so if you are in the house, even sleeping, it would be fine. I agree- 4 is a lot for one au pair, but it sounds like she would not be doing all 4 at once, so everyone (per usual) needs to CALM DOWN. I'd go for an older au pair who's already been here for a year so you can get someone who is experienced and used to the US and taking care of children and driving. I think it could be a great arrangement. Everyone I know with au pairs (not strangers on the internet) love them.

I’ll say it again: live-in nanny! Someone who is willing to do 24 hour availability starting about a month before your due date, and she can handle all three older kids until you’re less sleep deprived (or trade off older kids for newborn, as you prefer). If you plan to be home all the time, look for someone whose personality meshes with yours as your first criteria, childcare second, everything else doesn’t matter.

An au pair can be like having another child, remember!

Problem is, this sounds like an inherently terrible job-4 kids, including two toddlers and a newborn, bad hours, etc.?

We live in a neighborhood where everyone pays for childcare: either nanny, au pair, daycare, or babysitter. The most unhappy are the au pair group. Au pairs are still very young and inexperienced. They think they are coming here to have an easy job and lots of time to experience life in the US. Childcare for 4 young children is not an easy job.

People with nannies are the most satisfied but a good nanny will ask for more money knowing that 4 kids is more work. You have 2 preschoolers and an infant! Plus another one. (The family with 4 kids the au pair left after a month)

Possible you could send the preschoolers to preschool. That could get expensive but at least you know they are safe. Then you could use the au pair to fill in. But get ready for another “child” type responsibility.

It’s going to be tough no matter what you do! BTDT.

Anonymous wrote:I think an aupair would work. I did not need 40 hours a week since my H worked 2nd shift. We were basically always home when she was.

But it was great because aupairs are allowed to work weekends.

So ours worked very few hours daily but we had her babysit every other Saturday so my H and I could go out to dinner/movie/etc.

She usually worked 5-6 hour days.

So she could never have a free day or weekend? Disgraceful.

I think an aupair would work. I did not need 40 hours a week since my H worked 2nd shift. We were basically always home when she was.

But it was great because aupairs are allowed to work weekends.

So ours worked very few hours daily but we had her babysit every other Saturday so my H and I could go out to dinner/movie/etc.

She usually worked 5-6 hour days.