Honestly I would sit down and have a "come to jesus" type talk with both your son and the au pair separately. AP needs to know that he can't yell at your son and tell him to shut up like that, and AP also needs to understand that your son's behavior is also not acceptable and that you will be punishing your son as well.

When you talk to your son, you need to really lay down the law and make sure he 100% understands that he has to respect your AP and can't be a jerk. This is a case where I'd implement whatever is the "you did a really bad thing" punishment in your house and make it clear to your son that if this happens again the punishment will be double.

Rematch for sure. You also need to change your parenting with your kid, as what you've done hasn't worked and he's continued to be difficult and bratty.

Anonymous wrote:We have also had many au pairs over the years. I would rematch. A bad fit rarely gets good. It just gets less bad and the year is too long for that. But, talk to him about what he is looking for in a new family. He might do better with younger children and maybe you can help him find a family that is a better fit.

No. Please do not inflict him on a family with young kids.

You say you have been working on your son being repeatedly rude to the Au Pair, yet he continues to be openly defiant and disrespectful. Sounds like a little twerp who is slow to learn to behave better. By grade 5 he should know better.

Anonymous wrote:How in the world can anyone justify this behavior?! Do not allow anyone to call your son an idiot! It is your job to teach your child how to treat others and what to tolerate. Absolutely rematch, 100%.

The child's behavior also cannot be justified. He is a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He called your kid an idiot and shouted?! Nope. No second chances there.

Maybe the kid is an idiot.

The Au Pair is a bully.

Not if the kid is a jerk. The child, apparently, knows no boundaries and drives the AP crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Telling a kid to shut up and calling him an idiot is a hard no. I would rematch.

+1

+2

Adding, is there a language barrier by chance? Some words don't always translate. He may have learned that " idiot" is the same as "silly" or "shut up" was the same as "quiet down", but as Americans we know through connotations that "idiot" and "shut up" are harsh words, rude, provoking, insulting, etc.

As for the shouting match...hard to say. Was the au par getting frustrated, did your kid really go out of line, was it a safety issue and therefore no negotiations so the au par felt like he had to use his voice of doom?

A bit of context would help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Telling a kid to shut up and calling him an idiot is a hard no. I would rematch.

Agree. This au pair is at work and is shouting and name calling in the first week. No way.

+1 You already had a funny feeling about the au pair, and now this at the very beginning. Consider yourself warned.

+ this. Your au pair is a creep

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He called your kid an idiot and shouted?! Nope. No second chances there.

Maybe the kid is an idiot.

The Au Pair is a bully.

Your family deserves better.

Anonymous wrote:Curious to know how old your Au pair is and which country he is from. I know it is irrelevant, but I am just curious anyway.

He is from Italy and just turning 24.

Anonymous wrote:Telling a kid to shut up and calling him an idiot is a hard no. I would rematch.

+1

Curious to know how old your Au pair is and which country he is from. I know it is irrelevant, but I am just curious anyway.