Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 16:30     Subject: Re:Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would not talk to their parents. I would talk to the counselor. So, you are doing the right thing. Unfortunately, it happens a lot and mean girls’ parents are usually defensive and will take their side, if any.

Middle school is awful. I hope your DD will make better friends soon.


100%. And why mean behavior, rudeness, and even bullying will never go away. Parents don't follow through. Ever.


I think a lot of people who are truly mean are also good at code switching to be normal/nice to everyone else. Their parents are incredulous to their child's other behavior and thus get somewhat defensive. Which, initially, is actually a normal reaction- it doesn't jive with anything they already know about their kid and it's natural to protect them. BUT parents need to step back and really see what's happening after that initial shock


This. The meanest girls at school IMO are usually really polite to parents and well liked at school. They have the social finesse to act the way that they do. This is one of the reasons that kids who are held back - redshirt esp for non social/emotional reasons - often end up bullies, because they are more advanced socially than their peers.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 16:28     Subject: Re:Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate
Anonymous wrote:OP: I don't know if this weill help, but I was just reading the graphic novel "Smile" and there is a bunch in there about how MS girls treat each other. It was really interesting--and it has a happy ending. I know that when I was in MS, reading stories about people who I could commiserate with helped a lot.


The book "Real friends" and the follow up "Best Friends" has a bunch of good info on this, they are both graphic novels based on the author's real 5th and 6th grade experiences. My kids both really liked them.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2019 13:22     Subject: Re:Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would not talk to their parents. I would talk to the counselor. So, you are doing the right thing. Unfortunately, it happens a lot and mean girls’ parents are usually defensive and will take their side, if any.

Middle school is awful. I hope your DD will make better friends soon.


100%. And why mean behavior, rudeness, and even bullying will never go away. Parents don't follow through. Ever.


I think a lot of people who are truly mean are also good at code switching to be normal/nice to everyone else. Their parents are incredulous to their child's other behavior and thus get somewhat defensive. Which, initially, is actually a normal reaction- it doesn't jive with anything they already know about their kid and it's natural to protect them. BUT parents need to step back and really see what's happening after that initial shock


I'm the poster you're referring to. I couldn't agree more. I totally get the initial reaction to be defensive or defend your child. But, that is, unfortunately, where it ends most of the time.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2019 12:37     Subject: Re:Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate
OP: I don't know if this weill help, but I was just reading the graphic novel "Smile" and there is a bunch in there about how MS girls treat each other. It was really interesting--and it has a happy ending. I know that when I was in MS, reading stories about people who I could commiserate with helped a lot.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2019 09:21     Subject: Re:Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would not talk to their parents. I would talk to the counselor. So, you are doing the right thing. Unfortunately, it happens a lot and mean girls’ parents are usually defensive and will take their side, if any.

Middle school is awful. I hope your DD will make better friends soon.


100%. And why mean behavior, rudeness, and even bullying will never go away. Parents don't follow through. Ever.


I think a lot of people who are truly mean are also good at code switching to be normal/nice to everyone else. Their parents are incredulous to their child's other behavior and thus get somewhat defensive. Which, initially, is actually a normal reaction- it doesn't jive with anything they already know about their kid and it's natural to protect them. BUT parents need to step back and really see what's happening after that initial shock
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2019 07:02     Subject: Re:Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate
Anonymous wrote:I would not talk to their parents. I would talk to the counselor. So, you are doing the right thing. Unfortunately, it happens a lot and mean girls’ parents are usually defensive and will take their side, if any.

Middle school is awful. I hope your DD will make better friends soon.


100%. And why mean behavior, rudeness, and even bullying will never go away. Parents don't follow through. Ever.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2019 05:30     Subject: Re:Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate
I would not talk to their parents. I would talk to the counselor. So, you are doing the right thing. Unfortunately, it happens a lot and mean girls’ parents are usually defensive and will take their side, if any.

Middle school is awful. I hope your DD will make better friends soon.