Does he belittle you in other ways? Because comments about "stupid" diets and such are immature and hurtful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just out of curiosity, what explanation/defense would your husband have to his attitude about the diet and also about not wanting you to cut back at work for your health? Does he say he doesn't believe you're sick? Or does he think the diet is quackery and you need the money from working FT?

Either way he sounds like an ass. You deserve someone who has your back in sickness and in health!

I think he thinks it means less "fun" for him. Like now I can't just get Chipotle on a whim when we don't feel like cooking. I'm not saying HE can't have Chipotle--I make something for myself that I can eat. But maybe it's because I'm no longer indulging with him in that way. I don't think he'd articulate it in that way though, but knowing him that's probably a part of it. He's thinking more about how it impacts him negatively than how it may impact me positively.

The not cutting back at work thing is money driven. DH's income is variable and he feels that we need my full income to provide stability for us. DH makes more than I do, but it comes in ebbs and flows. -OP

I suppose this is better than if he actually wanted you to be sick, but only marginally--he's just so self-absorbed that it's more important to him that he live exactly the way he wants to than that you take care of your own health. I hope you don't have kids and you can get out, OP.

Do you have children OP?

He sounds incredibly immature or a horrible person.i can’t tell which.

Anonymous wrote:OP, just out of curiosity, what explanation/defense would your husband have to his attitude about the diet and also about not wanting you to cut back at work for your health? Does he say he doesn't believe you're sick? Or does he think the diet is quackery and you need the money from working FT?

Either way he sounds like an ass. You deserve someone who has your back in sickness and in health!

I think he thinks it means less "fun" for him. Like now I can't just get Chipotle on a whim when we don't feel like cooking. I'm not saying HE can't have Chipotle--I make something for myself that I can eat. But maybe it's because I'm no longer indulging with him in that way. I don't think he'd articulate it in that way though, but knowing him that's probably a part of it. He's thinking more about how it impacts him negatively than how it may impact me positively.

The not cutting back at work thing is money driven. DH's income is variable and he feels that we need my full income to provide stability for us. DH makes more than I do, but it comes in ebbs and flows. -OP

OP, just out of curiosity, what explanation/defense would your husband have to his attitude about the diet and also about not wanting you to cut back at work for your health? Does he say he doesn't believe you're sick? Or does he think the diet is quackery and you need the money from working FT?

Either way he sounds like an ass. You deserve someone who has your back in sickness and in health!

OP, the pp saying to ask yourself why you are tolerating this behavior is correct. Have your doctor note he is being unsupportive (and surely the stress is worsening the inflammation) and ask for a referral to solo counseling.
I’m in a similar position but my DH insisted on joining my strict diet even when I repeatedly insisted he didn’t have to. He even does research on his own time and monitors new studies for new or better options. He has been unfailingly kind and supportive and you deserve that, too. Please seek help and strongly consider leaving him for a kinder person. Life is short but far too long to be lonely in an unsupportive and unloving marriage.

To the pp making medication comments-meds not only don’t always work or have intolerable side effects but they may not exist, period.