Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have one kid who it's now clear has some learning challenges but they are mild enough that he muddled through ES as an average student. In retrospect, I would have had him tested earlier (I finally did it after 7th grade). Public schools are not going to tell you your kid has a problem (in fact my kids' fourth grade teacher said "DS does not have a learning difference" when I suggested there could be an underlying issue causing him not to work as independently as was expected) She was wrong. Trust your instinct, if you think something is just a little off. . . it probably is. The information you can learn from a full evaluation can be helpful.

Yes 1000% to this.

+1

My kid with dyslexia and executive function issues wasn’t diagnosed until he was a high school sophomore. I should have trusted my gut.

I would have told them that assholes are always going to be a part of life and to ignore them, instead of getting collectively upset by them.

Never done soccer. Took up too many weekends when we could have been traveling
Video games are addicting— I’m glad I stood firm on not letting them do them
Neighborhood with more kids — now our neighborhood is full of kids but then no.

Make sure of an elementary school and all in the pyramid have a great School rating of 8 or higher

Spent less money on eating out because I was tired after the long workdays, and put that money into a 529 instead.

Anonymous wrote:Which daily chores would you have emphasized?

For me with my older not necessarily SPECIFIC chores but just in general "pitching in." For whatever reason, my second teen has always pitched in and just helped out without a lot of prompting (and when prompted- complies quickly and easily). Older one is a battle (partly the ADD, I am sure, but just personality, too). I now give the younger teen $$ for consistently going above and beyond the regular stuff because I don't think it's fair that they do so much more than older child.

Hugged them more.

At 13 they are formed. 9-13 are the critical years, meaning if you want influence, that is when you have influence.

Simplified answer, I know, but pay particular close attention to life events that happen 9-13. They are children prior to 9, they are budding young adults at 13.

Which daily chores would you have emphasized?

-I wouldn't have worried at all about so many things: teacher assignments, class placements, homework, etc. None of it really matters in elementary and it's really
the only years you have to enjoy before everything does matter in middle school.
-Along those lines, I would have taken the kids out of school for more vacations. Again, starting in middle school it became a mess to even miss a day. Prior to that we should
have been taking them out left and right to see the world.
-I also would have done more private lessons in my kids' sports at an early age. I started with one around 11 but I wish I would have started earlier. If you're spending all that time on the sports fields with your kid, they might as well be good---and the kids who are good (in this area) are the ones who were trained well from an early age.

Anonymous wrote:Wow!! Not the OP, but I have two teens/tweens. The consensus seems to be holding off on phones or limiting screen time. My kids have no phones. But now with all the homework on computer, I have the hardest time monitoring their screen time. They are in front of the computers for "homework" a few hours every evening. How to make sure that they are not watching inappropriate things on youtube or playing video games?

+1. You can't and this is the hardest part. Short of literally sitting there with them every time they are on the computer, there is no way to effectively manage what they are doing on line. Parental controls help some, but do not completely mitigate the problems. They always find something else!

Anonymous wrote:I wish that we had gotten them involved in baseball earlier than we did. I think that is my one true regret.

how early?

For my older- stressed chores a bit more.

Stuff I think I did for my elem schoolers that is paying off now that they are teens- travel and cool experiences, changing things up when we hit a roadblock (i.e., not just “punishment” all of the time but realizing when kids are acting out- it’s often a cry for MORE parent time), encourage them to be involved with a lot of different types of people, stressing manners and (appropriate) independence.

Good luck and enjoy!!! It goes soo fast.

Nothing.

DS was born with medical and developmental issues, so everything I did was super thought out and researched, from basic parenting to school choice/advocating to therapies and enrichment.

We’ve worked so hard together, he and I. I’ve been playing the long game, and in certain areas, it’s starting to pay off, in others, we’ll have to wait and see.

Two teens now.

There are a few activities that we avoided because it would have been a challenge to do with my work schedule, mainly swim team. I think both would have benefited and enjoyed, but it would have been really hard schedule-wise. But that’s about it. They’re great kids and I think we did a decent job with them so far.