Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your son should read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi:

https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-rational-male-d26844483.html

Red Pill stuff leads to bad places. I don't know about Rollo in particular, but the Red Pill community tells young men, and particularly white young men, that their pain & suffering is the fault of other people. Usually the blame goes to feckless "females" and minorities who get special treatment.

Hold your comments until you've read the book. OP's son is likely being manipulated. He needs to see it for what it is.

Anonymous wrote:OP, your son should read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi:

https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-rational-male-d26844483.html

Red Pill stuff leads to bad places. I don't know about Rollo in particular, but the Red Pill community tells young men, and particularly white young men, that their pain & suffering is the fault of other people. Usually the blame goes to feckless "females" and minorities who get special treatment.

OP, your son should read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi:

https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-rational-male-d26844483.html

What is the exact concern? Assuming you think he is either being taken advantage of or he isn’t asking out other girls that might want to date him because he is pining for the one that won’t, you would treat this as you would if your kid had friends that weren’t really friends. Tread very lightly, ask questions, and realize that they have to reason it out for themselves and have the courage to make different choices in friends and confidence that they can. The only way I would directly get involved is if there is something that doesn’t have the luxury of time, like if as the PP mentioned he isn’t understanding that non answers or excuses is really a way a girl is saying no to a date, that could take on a life of its own after a few weeks or if there is cyber anything with things that shouldn’t be in writing or pictures that shouldn’t be shared/sent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

Except I know plenty of cases where a teenage girl said no to dating a boy, they stayed friends (s, "friend zoned" instead of "rejection", "final", etc) and ended up married. Why can't they just be friends?

Plenty huh? Maybe in Hollywood movies.

I wish I lived in a Hollywood movie, but alas, no. Just regular people from my high school.

Staying friends because you want to be friends and then dating later is fine and normal. Staying friends in the hope she’ll change her mind someday is not healthy. Stay friends if it doesn’t interfere with your seeking out fulfilling romantic relationships elsewhere. Don’t stay friends just in the hope that she’ll change her mind. Even if some women do, it’s not a good idea to sit around waiting for this particular girl/woman to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

Except I know plenty of cases where a teenage girl said no to dating a boy, they stayed friends (s, "friend zoned" instead of "rejection", "final", etc) and ended up married. Why can't they just be friends?

Plenty huh? Maybe in Hollywood movies.

I wish I lived in a Hollywood movie, but alas, no. Just regular people from my high school.

His father or some other adult male in his life needs to teach him to avoid this situation in the first place. He needs to learn the ropes of what to do and not do in relations with women.

This from a man who wishes he had that guidance early than he learned himself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

But to maximize male attention, some young ladies are coquettes to friend zoned young gents they have no dating interest in. Friend zoned boys see this benign flirting or mere friendliness as something more, thus stay especially fixated on a disinterested female peer. It's embarrassing for the young man when everyone but he is aware of the dynamic.

Agreed. And it’s especially sad when the boy’s mother is overly invested in his social life.

I don't think there is anything wrong with opening his eyes to the possibility but it has to be done carefully, gently and subtly.

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe it won’t make a difference. But I really think my son needs to move on.

Nope, stay out of it.

I would tell him so that he can understand verbals, nonverbal’s and social cues. Heck, I had to explain the friend zone to my 70-year-old widowed dad when he started dating again.

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

But to maximize male attention, some young ladies are coquettes to friend zoned young gents they have no dating interest in. Friend zoned boys see this benign flirting or mere friendliness as something more, thus stay especially fixated on a disinterested female peer. It's embarrassing for the young man when everyone but he is aware of the dynamic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

Except I know plenty of cases where a teenage girl said no to dating a boy, they stayed friends (s, "friend zoned" instead of "rejection", "final", etc) and ended up married. Why can't they just be friends?

Plenty huh? Maybe in Hollywood movies.

Does your older teen son have special needs, or is there some other reason why you are acting as his procurer?

Unless he’s teased, bullied or taken advantage of, best stay out of it. You can explain things but stay general.