Anonymous wrote:For me, my bro and sister have kids similar in ages and therefore, tend to hang out more often. And my sister's hubs and cousin's hubs are closer than to my hubs, therefore hang out more often. We recognize this and never feel left out when we don't get an invite. So many different dynamics/reasons, it's not always about you- unless you sense some underlying dislike- then maybe work on that.

Is it because you use the word "hubs"?

Do they your kids are brats? Are your kids mean to their kids? Is your hubby socially awkward? Or maybe a different political party and they don't want to deal with political ranting? Are you self-righteous? Do you insist on bringing your dog over? There is a reason they don't want you. You need to figure it out.

Your 2 brothers wanted to hang out together; laid back night, watching the game, etc . Definitely, not wanting to deal with you, dh, and your kids running amuck.

And since you are so bent out of shape about this, I bet you're full of drama in real life and I can definitely see why their first instinct is not to invite you.

Anonymous wrote:I would be similarly hurt, OP, if my siblings were having a Labor Day Weekend BBQ and I was the only sibling excluded. Ouch.

+1. It was deliberate since it was brought up and worse because it is a holiday. If they wanted you, they would have accommodated. It really isn’t that difficult to add a few extra servings to the extras they should have on hand for seconds anyway. Or even to ask each family to bring their favorite dish or something.

I’d be peeved and seriously put off. I don’t know more context, though. I’d have a word with my brother.

Anonymous wrote:For me, my bro and sister have kids similar in ages and therefore, tend to hang out more often. And my sister's hubs and cousin's hubs are closer than to my hubs, therefore hang out more often. We recognize this and never feel left out when we don't get an invite. So many different dynamics/reasons, it's not always about you- unless you sense some underlying dislike- then maybe work on that.

Is the reason they don't hang out with you because you repeatedly call male partners "hubs?"

I bet it is.

I see one sibling and his family a lot, and I hardly see another one and his family very often at all. It's mostly because I don't really like the other one though.

If all my siblings got together and I was the only one excluded, I would absolutely be sad. For whatever reason, SIL doesn't like OP and OP's brother isn't willing to make waves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are weird. I would be so upset too OP. That’s pretty mean.

Again, some more: Would you think it was "mean" if your neighbors, the Joneses, invited over your other neighbors, the Smiths? Or would you think...they're having an evening, maybe another time we'll have an evening with the Joneses, or all together?

It's not a family BBQ; it's people at a gathering.

NP. My neighbors? No, not mean. My friends? No. My best friends in the whole world? Still no.

My siblings? Yes. I would be hurt.

For me, my bro and sister have kids similar in ages and therefore, tend to hang out more often. And my sister's hubs and cousin's hubs are closer than to my hubs, therefore hang out more often. We recognize this and never feel left out when we don't get an invite. So many different dynamics/reasons, it's not always about you- unless you sense some underlying dislike- then maybe work on that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are weird. I would be so upset too OP. That’s pretty mean.

Again, some more: Would you think it was "mean" if your neighbors, the Joneses, invited over your other neighbors, the Smiths? Or would you think...they're having an evening, maybe another time we'll have an evening with the Joneses, or all together?

It's not a family BBQ; it's people at a gathering.

But it's not the same. Siblings are not the same as neighbors.

I get it, OP. I am the youngest of three and the two oldest are much closer and they exclude me. They are all at the beach together right now. My kids are seeing the photos of their cousins on social media at the beach and feeling left out.

Three is a bad number.

Anonymous wrote:These responses are weird. I would be so upset too OP. That’s pretty mean.

Again, some more: Would you think it was "mean" if your neighbors, the Joneses, invited over your other neighbors, the Smiths? Or would you think...they're having an evening, maybe another time we'll have an evening with the Joneses, or all together?

It's not a family BBQ; it's people at a gathering.

These responses are weird. I would be so upset too OP. That’s pretty mean.

Anonymous wrote:I'd be mad at your brother who didn't invite you. He's the one you have the issue with.

This right here. Your brother didn't invite you. Deal with him.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a family bbq. Your brother and SIL are inviting one couple over for a bbq, not hosting a large gathering. Get over it.

THIS!