Start looking for other jobs with a shorter commute. You have a job so you can afford to be picky. It might take s year to find a job closer to home - but guess what? You’re in a better bargaining position with each passing day, so look at it like that. Also, I don’t think any working person would look down on you for leaving your job because of the commute. That’s very reasonable - and FYI that’s the reason you should give when they ask. As for the other adjustments, you could look into teleworking a few days a week or even part time jobs. Point being, it is much much easier to find a job when you have a job.

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband think? I assume he has the best handle on your financial situation.

If money truly isn't an issue and you don't need to work, then quit. But if you need a job, then look for a new one before quitting.

Honestly, a one-hour commute isn't terrible. Most people in the burbs have that---or worse (sometimes my commute is 90+ mins to DC). And I often bring lunch and rarely leave my desk. I'm a lawyer fwiw. But I have a mortgage and kids to put through college.

And honestly not having to corral little kids, rush daycare, try and make dinner and do bedtime routine, all she has to do is work and check in with her high school students now and then. It’s not a big deal. An hour commute matters when you’re pressed for time, OP’s world is now in oyster.

I don’t curiosity how long has your husband been commuting to work.

OP, I’m also a longtime SAHM on the brink of returning to the workforce, and you have so accurately described my fears, it’s eerie. The job I’m considering right now (waiting on security clearance) seems like it will be exactly like the one you currently have, with about a 45 minute commute each way.

I have been so fortunate to stay home with my kids all these years, and I’m grateful every single day. However, as they are now in high school and college, I feel ready to head back to work... just not sure I want to head right into an exhausting grind. Like you, I don’t need to work, but would like to now that the kids are older. I don’t want to regret taking a job that isn’t fulfilling.

Keep us posted on your decision and good luck! You’re not alone.

What does your husband think? I assume he has the best handle on your financial situation.

If money truly isn't an issue and you don't need to work, then quit. But if you need a job, then look for a new one before quitting.

Honestly, a one-hour commute isn't terrible. Most people in the burbs have that---or worse (sometimes my commute is 90+ mins to DC). And I often bring lunch and rarely leave my desk. I'm a lawyer fwiw. But I have a mortgage and kids to put through college.

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard to tell how much of your misery is just readjusting to the workplace. My day at work could be the way you describe it, with no time for chit chat or taking care of personal matters, because I do have a heavy workload. However, I know how to prioritize, delegate procrastinate and ignore strategically so I can have a more pleasant day. These are skills learned over time, and to some extent relearned every time you start a new job. If you really want to be in the workplace, I would stick it out, see if you can figure out how to improve things, and if not, look for another job. Since you don’t need to work, the question is do you want to. Do t make up your mind to that question based on three months in a job after more than a decade off.

I just returned to work and I need my time to socialize and DCUM!

It’s hard to tell how much of your misery is just readjusting to the workplace. My day at work could be the way you describe it, with no time for chit chat or taking care of personal matters, because I do have a heavy workload. However, I know how to prioritize, delegate procrastinate and ignore strategically so I can have a more pleasant day. These are skills learned over time, and to some extent relearned every time you start a new job. If you really want to be in the workplace, I would stick it out, see if you can figure out how to improve things, and if not, look for another job. Since you don’t need to work, the question is do you want to. Do t make up your mind to that question based on three months in a job after more than a decade off.

Anonymous wrote:Why did you accept a job with an hour commute each way? What did you expect??

I’m guessing this was a personal relation, like business associate of her DH, which gave her a professional office job with real money salary. Her other options were teachers aide or something which pay squat.

If money is not a concern, I would just volunteer. But I wonder if money is a concern?

Why did you accept a job with an hour commute each way? What did you expect??

I would stick with it for another few months and see how the routine looks once school starts.

During that time, I’d think more about the “strategic opportunities” or other future options that would benefit from you sticking around for longer. I wouldn’t quit under 1 year if you are likely to stick with any kind of work.

3 months at a job is not going to impress anyone. Having that on her resume would only serve to make Op look flaky.

There are other jobs that are not an hour commute each way, allow time to socialize and take a lunch break, are part time, involve more meaningful work, don’t operate in crisis mode, etc. Your specific job just sucks and there is no reason to stay in it when you don’t need the money. Use it as a tool to get a better one.

Anonymous wrote:OP, please do not stay for a year. You might feel down , get sad and even physically sick. If you absolutely want to work outside the house, start looking for a different position- NOW.

Realistically, what is Op going to find? I've been a SAHM for nearly 20 years and, honestly, if I were to look for work today my resume would look pretty blank. I have zero recent work history. I'm happy where I put my energy for the past 20 years and I had a solid work history before I quit working to SAH with my kids but that was 20 years ago.

Op landed herself a full time office job which is awesome. She's already a quarter of her way through her first year. Next year at this time she'll have more options. Right now, though, she's got to stick it out and pay her dues. Op went back to work for a reason and she owes it to herself to get this first year under her belt.

Anonymous wrote:Quit. Don't wait a year - you don't need the line on your resume. If you want another job, look for one with greater flexibility and better work environment.

Actually, she really does need this line on her resume. She is lucky to have landed this job after not having worked for so long. Her employer is happy with her performance and I would take this opportunity to learn as much as I could and take on as many different tasks as possible. After a year, if the job was still not working for me, I would talk to my employer about it and see if some adjustments could be made (telecommuting, fewer hours, etc).

If you truly do not need the money, then sure quit. But I assume you are relying on your husband or partner. Are you still ok if something happens to them? If so, then go ahead and quit.

It took me a full year to adjust from working 4 days a week to full time. So going from not working outside the home to full-time work with a long commute is going to take awhile to get used to it. So feeling exhausted should be expected. So if you still think you may want to work, you might want to hang in there for a year. Because the truth is that you are lucky anyone hired you at all. So you could think of this as a starter job which you can use to get a better one down the line.

OP, please do not stay for a year. You might feel down , get sad and even physically sick. If you absolutely want to work outside the house, start looking for a different position- NOW.