Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The courts will crucify you. This isn't 1975 anymore. Dads have rights to their kids and moms aren't the default parent. The credit card you used to hide his son probably gets paid by him. Judges notice these things. That, and the fact that your kid will hate you when he realizes you used him as a weapon against his own father.

Have fun though!

You really have no idea what you are talking about. I've BTDT and I'd do it again with no hesitation I had no trouble in court at all. Do you think I looked bad for removing my children fro a bad home environment?

+1 If OP documents everything, she will be fine. She's be in bigger trouble if she kept her children (born and unborn) in a harmful home environment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The courts will crucify you. This isn't 1975 anymore. Dads have rights to their kids and moms aren't the default parent. The credit card you used to hide his son probably gets paid by him. Judges notice these things. That, and the fact that your kid will hate you when he realizes you used him as a weapon against his own father.

Have fun though!

You really have no idea what you are talking about. I've BTDT and I'd do it again with no hesitation I had no trouble in court at all. Do you think I looked bad for removing my children fro a bad home environment?

You have to prove there was a bad home environment.

no, I didnt

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's called custodial kidnapping and, yes, it will get you in trouble. Not to mention the fact that it makes you a horrible person unless you can convince us about your 'safety' concerns.

Source: used to work for CPS in Richmond and I've lost count of the number of times a mother took the kids away like this as some form of punishment to the dad. The "anger issues" ALWAYS turned out to be BS. You spent all his money or slept with the neighbor. Yeah, that sorta makes people mad.

You make CPS people look bad. Are you actually disbelieving someone who anonymously posts online for help? Why do you think they would lie to internet strangers?

I really hope other CPS workers aren't like you.

Np: Just want to say that this attitude from CPS (and many of the pp’s) is what keeps me and countless other women trapped in abusive marriages. People always wonder why we don’t leave- why? Joint.Custody. and the “father’s rights” movement. I feel terrible for fathers who have doing nothing wrong and are separated from their kids, but there are 2 sides to every story. I wish these things were taken on a case by case basis but these days that is often not the case. I don’t what people expect OP to do- put up with abuse or give up a lot of rights to her child (to a father who has anger management issues)...

Yes I’ve spoken to a lawyer and have resources- doesn’t matter. Can’t prove most of it.

I’m sorry OP. Can you pretend everything is fine with DH and go visit family maybe?

Add to that the fact that CPS will then blame the woman for "subjecting" her kids to an abusive person, and you've got one Catch-22 on your hands. Abused women who have children literally cannot win. CPS will suggest that they are lying about the abuse, but then if they can prove the abuse, will then accuse the woman of failure to protect and start those proceedings. They are the worst of any government funded program hands down. I can't say anything good about them because they are responsible for so much abuse being allowed to continue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's called custodial kidnapping and, yes, it will get you in trouble. Not to mention the fact that it makes you a horrible person unless you can convince us about your 'safety' concerns.

Source: used to work for CPS in Richmond and I've lost count of the number of times a mother took the kids away like this as some form of punishment to the dad. The "anger issues" ALWAYS turned out to be BS. You spent all his money or slept with the neighbor. Yeah, that sorta makes people mad.

You make CPS people look bad. Are you actually disbelieving someone who anonymously posts online for help? Why do you think they would lie to internet strangers?

I really hope other CPS workers aren't like you.

Np: Just want to say that this attitude from CPS (and many of the pp’s) is what keeps me and countless other women trapped in abusive marriages. People always wonder why we don’t leave- why? Joint.Custody. and the “father’s rights” movement. I feel terrible for fathers who have doing nothing wrong and are separated from their kids, but there are 2 sides to every story. I wish these things were taken on a case by case basis but these days that is often not the case. I don’t what people expect OP to do- put up with abuse or give up a lot of rights to her child (to a father who has anger management issues)...

Yes I’ve spoken to a lawyer and have resources- doesn’t matter. Can’t prove most of it.

I’m sorry OP. Can you pretend everything is fine with DH and go visit family maybe?

I used to work for CPS in DC. If you don’t have a custody order, you don’t need his permission to do anything but leave the country. Staying in a hotel is not kidnapping and if he calls the cops on you, when they show up, tell them you’d like to get an order of protection against him for you and your child based on his anger and threats. It may or may not work for either of you, but neither of you has more ground to stand on than the other. If you are hoping to reconcile, leaving with your kids and/or calling the cops is pretty much a dealbreaker from what I’ve seen. Once y’all are at that point, you might as well just file for divorce because you will use this against each other forever.

For what it’s worth, I did everything within my power to keep kids out of abusive homes, but sometimes there are nothing but terrible options. For every situation I saw where a mom lies about abuse, I probably saw 5 where mom was actually being abused and 5 more where she and the kids both were being abused.

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is the wrong place to ask for advice. Call a domestic violence hotline, get a referral to a lawyer, or go to family court on Monday to file for a protective order (some will exclude him from your shared home).

The court can help point you in the direction of legal services, or you can call your local bar association to get a referral.

I posted earlier. That’s what I did —from a hotel. The first question the judge asked me was had I ever tried leaving because I felt unsafe. Telling him I was hidden in a hotel after a bad incident satisfied him.

OP, this is the wrong place to ask for advice. Call a domestic violence hotline, get a referral to a lawyer, or go to family court on Monday to file for a protective order (some will exclude him from your shared home).

The court can help point you in the direction of legal services, or you can call your local bar association to get a referral.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The courts will crucify you. This isn't 1975 anymore. Dads have rights to their kids and moms aren't the default parent. The credit card you used to hide his son probably gets paid by him. Judges notice these things. That, and the fact that your kid will hate you when he realizes you used him as a weapon against his own father.

Have fun though!

You really have no idea what you are talking about. I've BTDT and I'd do it again with no hesitation I had no trouble in court at all. Do you think I looked bad for removing my children fro a bad home environment?

You have to prove there was a bad home environment.

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday I booked a hotel for a few days because I do not feel safe around DH. He has anger problems. He's going out of town Sunday for a work trip. We're not out of state and this is temporary. He's threatening to call the police. I've explained I'm not doing anything illegal. Will the police really bother with this?

No, you cannot just take your child and go away without the child's other parent's consent. It is kidnapping. You are treading on very thin water. Make sure you know what you're doing before YOU get into legal trouble by trying to do the "right" thing.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you rest in the home while he is gone? This makes no sense.

She said she booked a hotel for a few days and then her husband is leaving town on Sunday to go on a work trip. It sounds to me like she's hunkering down in a hotel until he leaves town, then back to her house while he's gone and she feels safe.

Why can't you rest in the home while he is gone? This makes no sense.

Anonymous wrote:The courts will crucify you. This isn't 1975 anymore. Dads have rights to their kids and moms aren't the default parent. The credit card you used to hide his son probably gets paid by him. Judges notice these things. That, and the fact that your kid will hate you when he realizes you used him as a weapon against his own father.

Have fun though!

You really have no idea what you are talking about. I've BTDT and I'd do it again with no hesitation I had no trouble in court at all. Do you think I looked bad for removing my children fro a bad home environment?

Anonymous wrote:It's called custodial kidnapping and, yes, it will get you in trouble. Not to mention the fact that it makes you a horrible person unless you can convince us about your 'safety' concerns.

Source: used to work for CPS in Richmond and I've lost count of the number of times a mother took the kids away like this as some form of punishment to the dad. The "anger issues" ALWAYS turned out to be BS. You spent all his money or slept with the neighbor. Yeah, that sorta makes people mad.

I kidnapped my kids, if that's what you want to call it. Packed them up and moved them into a place I rented early one morning. I highly recommend it. Do what you need to protect them. You can't let the opinions of these keyboard lawyers affect you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's called custodial kidnapping and, yes, it will get you in trouble. Not to mention the fact that it makes you a horrible person unless you can convince us about your 'safety' concerns.

Source: used to work for CPS in Richmond and I've lost count of the number of times a mother took the kids away like this as some form of punishment to the dad. The "anger issues" ALWAYS turned out to be BS. You spent all his money or slept with the neighbor. Yeah, that sorta makes people mad.

You make CPS people look bad. Are you actually disbelieving someone who anonymously posts online for help? Why do you think they would lie to internet strangers?

I really hope other CPS workers aren't like you.

When it comes to custody, this is exactly how CPS operates. I've had to work with them and they are the bottom of the barrel in terms of critical thinking around violence in the home. They hand-deliver more kids back into abusive homes that it's amazing to me that they still are allowed to have the word "protective" in their title. They are jokes. It doesn't surprise me one bit that a "CPS" worker would post this. This is exactly how they operate, and they are vile.

Are you actually disbelieving someone who anonymously posts online for help?

Are you actually unconditionally believing someone who anonymously posts online?