Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 09:50     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
They are likely parents. I don't know a single grandparent that went to preschool orientation.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 09:48     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
I'm 40 but I look really, really young. Whenever i'm out with my son (5) and any of my sisters' children (all in the 10-15 range) I get pitying looks. People have said things to me like "oh honey, you have a lot on your plate at your age!". I guess they figure I started having kids in MS and never stopped. I agree with other posters, always err on the side of caution. Don't be condescending to people based on your own assumptions.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 07:56     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Anonymous wrote:Are all these moms having bio kids at 40+ all having them through medical means? A 50-60 year old woman with an elementary kid would typically be grandma in my neck or the woods.


I'm 53 and I live in the south now and it is true that there are quite a few 50 something and even 40 something grandparents around (my own kids are HS and college age). But in the DC area it's not unusual at all for women to have kids well into their 40's and we met quite a few older dads (50's, 60's) who had elementary school age kids. You can't make assumptions.

The one thing I have noticed, is that while the older parents of young kids might look older, because they are older, they tend to act younger - like sitting cross legged during a circle time or lifting a kid up onto their shoulders or darting across a playground to grab a toddler.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 07:43     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Anonymous wrote:Are all these moms having bio kids at 40+ all having them through medical means? A 50-60 year old woman with an elementary kid would typically be grandma in my neck or the woods.


Nope. Many of us aren’t using any extra support at all. And have uncomplicated pregnancies with very healthy babies and easy births. Not always donor eggs and fertility treatments. It’s less of a thing than you’d imagine. I have friends that have 3 year olds and friends that have grandkids. Welcome to the rest of the world.

Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 07:33     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Are all these moms having bio kids at 40+ all having them through medical means? A 50-60 year old woman with an elementary kid would typically be grandma in my neck or the woods.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 07:30     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Parents are beyond ancient now. Never assume.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 07:08     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
I can very clearly remember when my math teacher brought her maybe 7 year old daughter to class in 1989. Someone said: “is she your grand daughter?” She was clearly offended and said: “No. she’s my daughter”. Don’t ask.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 06:11     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Don't forget, we now have gestational surrogates. I know a few couples who've done it at 50 or so.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 05:32     Subject: Re:If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Happy 50-year-old with a 3 year-old in preschool. I am often asked by parents and kids if I am the grandmom, and I just tell them, “No, I am the mom.” I also try to make it less awkward by always introducing myself as the mom, and will usually add, “I am an older mom.” I feel so lucky and grateful to have my son that I don’t mind any assumptions that I am not. I also ask new parents I meet, “How old is your son/daughter?” and they will sometimes tell me they are the grandfather, nanny, etc.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 05:26     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Anonymous wrote:Always err on the side of flattery.

Agree.
OP should already know this at 41.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 04:20     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Here? No. There’s 45 year olds with newborns here. 50 as a K a parent even close to being abnormal in this area.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2019 00:32     Subject: If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Not a safe assumption.

My SIL is 64 with a 16 year old!

My MIL is only 7 years older than my SIL with a 20 yr old grandchild.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2019 23:10     Subject: Re:If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
My Dad often takes my kids to pre-school. He’s a very young looking 63 year old but since my kids call him grandad it’s pretty clear who he is. My GF’s think he looks like Richard Gere so they love having him around. It doesn’t take long before you figure out relationships but early on it can be awkward.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2019 22:25     Subject: Re:If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
I turn 51 in the fall and have a kid entering his last year of preschool next week. At preschool in Bethesda I am far from alone as an older parent--some I guess are even older than me. This week at the drop-off for the camp bus for my older kid I mistakenly referred to another kid's grandfather and the kid corrected me saying it was his dad. Dad was at least 70 with white hair and the kids were probably 11 or 12. I assume a second marriage but who knows. Makes me feel like I'm not alone in waiting.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2019 22:25     Subject: Re:If a woman is older than 50, is it safe to assume she is the grandmother or nanny?
Anonymous wrote:Assume she or he is the parent - this is safest and you will be corrected if wrong.


This. And don’t ask. I find the grandparents generally well divulge that information themselves. Same with aunts or uncles. If you have to ask something for Smalltalk simply say “which one is yours?”, they’ll answer and then likely fill in the blank if they are not the parent.