Anonymous wrote:From the mom of adult kids - the very fact that you pose the question tells me you are probably a very good mom. You will make mistakes along the way. Some of them very small. Some might be really big. The swimming band thing? Ask yourself if it will even matter in a year. He will learn to ride a bike when he is ready. Trust that your child is unique. You parent the kid you get, not the one you thought you would get. He is his own person with his own strengths and weaknesses. You are there to love him unconditionally.

Also, most eight year olds are inconsistent with manners. He’ll get there. You’re doing great!

Anonymous wrote:Objectively I know I’m not. I tend to be a glass half empty type of person and I’m working on that in therapy. My kid (8) is generally great, but I keep focusing on what I could have done better. He’s not great at using manners consistently, he doesn’t know how to swim well enough to pass the swim test yet or ride a 2 wheel bike. I know as a parent I should have pushed those things harder (swim & bike—we model and discuss using manners a lot), but there are just some things that have to be lower on the priority totem pole given time and resources.

Today is a beautiful day but DS doesn’t want to go to the pool because all of his friends have their swim bands and he doesn’t and he doesn’t want to practice in front of them understandably. We’ve had a private swim instructor lined up but she’s been unreliable and it’s been tough to find someone else at this point in the summer. We’ve just totally failed on the bike thing though, and DS hasn’t pushed it because it’s hard for him. We need to get him to do things that are hard for him and learn to overcome difficulties. I just don’t want him to feel left out or left behind due to us not pushing him to learn to do these things.

I’m probably just in a mood, but I feel like others around me have this parenting thing down better than I (we) do. I’m sure that everyone probably feels that way occasionally but I feel it pretty often. I just don’t want to mess it up, especially since we only have one.

Anonymous wrote:oh wait, me too! DS, 5, (currently featured in the "i am not happy to see you Mama" thread), generally refuses to use manners, beats the living sh*t out of his brother, father and me and currently has a rare bacterial skin infection from swimming in tainted water that will take 4 months of treatment with dual antibiotics to complete.

Other kid is much sweeter, but that's in jeopardy because his mentor/idol is his big brother. Separately, He won't put his face in the water to try to swim, and also won't spend the night in his own bed -- literally ever -- and is 3.5 y/o. Also yesterday he unveiled a hidden bag of peanut butter cups (no clue on origin) that was stored under his dresser for god knows how long and DH and I had no clue even existed. #winning.