Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Aunt is the most wonderful, kind, and generous person but I did not want to leave her with nothing. I did not want to seem like we were taking advantage of her. I ended up venmoing her $750. She immediately got insulted and sent it right back to me. So there's that. We talked about it. She said "how dare you pay me to watch my nieces and nephews. I'm so excited to spend the week with them." I then told her when we dropped them off I would leave a credit card just in case. She pushed back but I'm doing it anyway. I'll give it to my 13 year old if she continues to balk. Better safe than sorry.

How old are your kids, Op? I know that once mine got past a certain age they were more fun than work; more company than babysitting.

I do think that you should have left enough money to cover meals, gas, entertainment. But maybe your sister wants the opportunity to spoil her nieces and nephews .

Most family don't like being treated like hired help. They would like to think you see them as different from a babysitter you might hire off a website. I don't know why you keep insisting when she has clearly told you how she feels. You aren't taking advantage of her. You should have known it would be insting and you did it anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. These posts surprise me. I am the aunt who has do e this before and the idea of being paid is insulting. For those of you who believe any assistance should be financially compensated, how do you negotiate that. If an elderly parent asks for help with a task, do you give them a quote for how much that will cost? Do you ever do anything for others without expecting and requesting payment? What if people are initially aught off guard or don't pay you when you helped out, so you just drop them?


I had no idea that so many people felt that helping a family member out should be financially compensated.

It should not be a burden. I have it written in my trust that anybody that provides assistance be compensated. If my son does my taxes, he will be paid out of the trust.

Maybe he will be a millionaire, but maybe he is hurting for money. I don't know, I don't care. I want to compensate people for their time.

That is sad to me. It is such a cold and business like way to relate to family. We all do things for each other all the time.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Aunt is the most wonderful, kind, and generous person but I did not want to leave her with nothing. I did not want to seem like we were taking advantage of her. I ended up venmoing her $750. She immediately got insulted and sent it right back to me. So there's that. We talked about it. She said "how dare you pay me to watch my nieces and nephews. I'm so excited to spend the week with them." I then told her when we dropped them off I would leave a credit card just in case. She pushed back but I'm doing it anyway. I'll give it to my 13 year old if she continues to balk. Better safe than sorry.

How old are your kids, Op? I know that once mine got past a certain age they were more fun than work; more company than babysitting.

I do think that you should have left enough money to cover meals, gas, entertainment. But maybe your sister wants the opportunity to spoil her nieces and nephews .

Anonymous wrote:Wow. These posts surprise me. I am the aunt who has do e this before and the idea of being paid is insulting. For those of you who believe any assistance should be financially compensated, how do you negotiate that. If an elderly parent asks for help with a task, do you give them a quote for how much that will cost? Do you ever do anything for others without expecting and requesting payment? What if people are initially aught off guard or don't pay you when you helped out, so you just drop them?


I had no idea that so many people felt that helping a family member out should be financially compensated.

eh, the aunt shouldn't be out of pocket 8 days worth of food/gas/entertainment for 3 kids. While I agree that a babysitting fee might seem to be a little too "hired help", the parents absolutely should leave money to cover the aunt's expenses.

How old are the kids? If they are teenagers driving themselves around and the aunt is just there to make sure that house parties don't happen then expenses would be lower.

OP here - Aunt is the most wonderful, kind, and generous person but I did not want to leave her with nothing. I did not want to seem like we were taking advantage of her. I ended up venmoing her $750. She immediately got insulted and sent it right back to me. So there's that. We talked about it. She said "how dare you pay me to watch my nieces and nephews. I'm so excited to spend the week with them." I then told her when we dropped them off I would leave a credit card just in case. She pushed back but I'm doing it anyway. I'll give it to my 13 year old if she continues to balk. Better safe than sorry.

Anonymous wrote:I would want to do fun stuff with the kids so out of 8 days, I would let them chill 4 and do something 4. Those 4 days I would want $50 each kid 4x50x3=$600

The other 4 days I would order in so $75 for food, 4x75=$300

So $900 for for the kids, $300 for "my troubles" = $1200.

j'd give you back $$ if the "outings" were cheaper than $50... but I doubt they would be ... lunch and dinner plus the outing.

There is one weekend for outings and or chilling. They otherwise go to camp all day.

Anonymous wrote:I'd leave her a credit card and $200 in cash. Then tell her to please put all food and activities for the kids and herself on the card, and keep the cash as back up.

I'd give her a thank you gift (cash or whatever) afterwards.

+1

The credit card makes it less like you are paying her, but gives her unlimited margin to cover expenses. And the cash is helpful for flexibility.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. These posts surprise me. I am the aunt who has do e this before and the idea of being paid is insulting. For those of you who believe any assistance should be financially compensated, how do you negotiate that. If an elderly parent asks for help with a task, do you give them a quote for how much that will cost? Do you ever do anything for others without expecting and requesting payment? What if people are initially aught off guard or don't pay you when you helped out, so you just drop them?


I had no idea that so many people felt that helping a family member out should be financially compensated.

It should not be a burden. I have it written in my trust that anybody that provides assistance be compensated. If my son does my taxes, he will be paid out of the trust.

Maybe he will be a millionaire, but maybe he is hurting for money. I don't know, I don't care. I want to compensate people for their time.

I'd leave her a credit card and $200 in cash. Then tell her to please put all food and activities for the kids and herself on the card, and keep the cash as back up.

I'd give her a thank you gift (cash or whatever) afterwards.

Wow. These posts surprise me. I am the aunt who has do e this before and the idea of being paid is insulting. For those of you who believe any assistance should be financially compensated, how do you negotiate that. If an elderly parent asks for help with a task, do you give them a quote for how much that will cost? Do you ever do anything for others without expecting and requesting payment? What if people are initially aught off guard or don't pay you when you helped out, so you just drop them?


I had no idea that so many people felt that helping a family member out should be financially compensated.

Anonymous wrote:I have a dog sitter. I left her most of the money up front so she’d have cash on hand. For my dog... $450.

You are comparing one dog to three children. Does this dog go to camp and need to rides to and fro? Can this dog be left alone? I don't think you should compare children and dogs. Which would be worse an accident happening to your dog or the op's children?

I would want to do fun stuff with the kids so out of 8 days, I would let them chill 4 and do something 4. Those 4 days I would want $50 each kid 4x50x3=$600

The other 4 days I would order in so $75 for food, 4x75=$300

So $900 for for the kids, $300 for "my troubles" = $1200.

j'd give you back $$ if the "outings" were cheaper than $50... but I doubt they would be ... lunch and dinner plus the outing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I watched my sister’s kid for two weeks and she gave me $200 to cover food and incidentals, which was fine. I think $500 would be plenty altogether if they are in camp all day and paying her for her time is not an expectation. That’d buy some meals out and perhaps a fun activity.

People like you are disgusting.
I have no doubt you take advantage of other people's kindness & generosity, because there's no "expectation".

We get it. You do not have the idea of family that some others have. Not everyone has to put up huge boundaries for toxic relationships with family. I'm legitimately sorry you have this experience. But op is asking a more logistical question. I've been in both positions, I would never in a million years expect payment as a "service" and while I would offer I know I'd be rebuffed. I'm stepping in either bc my sister is in a tough spot with her kids and needs backup for 8 days OR because I WANT that fun bonding time with them. Neices and nephews to me arent just some kids I'm paid to watch or deal with, it's a pretty tight bond. Not everyone sees them that way,. But why can't we presume OP knows what kind of situation and relationship this is and not project bout own shit onto this simple question

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I watched my sister’s kid for two weeks and she gave me $200 to cover food and incidentals, which was fine. I think $500 would be plenty altogether if they are in camp all day and paying her for her time is not an expectation. That’d buy some meals out and perhaps a fun activity.

People like you are disgusting.
I have no doubt you take advantage of other people's kindness & generosity, because there's no "expectation".

If I were doing this I would feel absolutely insulted by offering to pay me as though I were a babysitter or as if I didn't have enough money to buy breakfast. OP, if your relationship is transactional, then yes, leave the amount of money you'd leave for a nanny, at least $500 each. If this is about family then treat it that way. Leave a couple of hundred and buy her a dinner gift card or a gift later to say thank you. Maybe include a note from the kids to say thank you and what they enjoyed the most about the visit.

We don’t know how old is the aunt or what is her financial situation. the aunt could be a 24 year old student doing her graduate studies, or internship, you wouldn’t leave money?

You are responding to me. If the aunt does not have the funds OR is doing this for money, then, yes, of course, pay her like you would a nanny. I assume OP would have said that in her post. It sounds to me more along the lines of my brother leaving his kids with me for a week and I would NOT accept any money and would feel insulted if he tried to pay me for things like breakfast food.

Anonymous wrote:I have a dog sitter. I left her most of the money up front so she’d have cash on hand. For my dog... $450.

You are paying for the service though. Op hasn't said if that's what her sister is doing. Obviously give her money to cover her meals/ activities with the boys but if they are in camp all day during the week WTH are people doing to spend a thousand dollars in a week of regular activities and some fun stuff on weekends?