Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever we want. Not sure I could put a frequency on it. But we have a nanny, so we have a built-in sitter (assuming she's free) and our friends do as well, so no one is either hurting financially or looking for childcare. However, I don't think it's totally a class thing, as someone put it, because my best friend does the same and she and her husband are not remotely wealthy (under $100K combined income with two kids) and the kids were both in daycare so they never had a nanny and they use college sitters. I think if there's a will there's a way, although I think money makes the way easier, for sure.

We have a seven figure income and cost of sitter is a non-issue. We still never go out with couples. This is probably the way we socialize though. DH and I go out solo with our friends pretty frequently and also do date night a few times per month.

We have three children and like spending time with them.

We have a friend with a standing date night once per week. I know that go out with another couple often. The wives are like best friends.

DH and I don’t have a good enough couple friend we want to hang out with as a couple that badly.

I cannot imagine that anyone wants to spend an evening with you. You are insufferable.

Anonymous wrote:
Never until now, as they’re old enough to stay home by themselves. I have them at home for a limited time, and enjoy their company. They’ve always been calm and we’ve taken them everywhere.

New PP. I don't care how quiet your kids are. I want adult company only when going to a nice restaurant. Believe me, other people groan when they see you've brought your kids along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever we want. Not sure I could put a frequency on it. But we have a nanny, so we have a built-in sitter (assuming she's free) and our friends do as well, so no one is either hurting financially or looking for childcare. However, I don't think it's totally a class thing, as someone put it, because my best friend does the same and she and her husband are not remotely wealthy (under $100K combined income with two kids) and the kids were both in daycare so they never had a nanny and they use college sitters. I think if there's a will there's a way, although I think money makes the way easier, for sure.

We have a seven figure income and cost of sitter is a non-issue. We still never go out with couples. This is probably the way we socialize though. DH and I go out solo with our friends pretty frequently and also do date night a few times per month.

We have three children and like spending time with them.

We have a friend with a standing date night once per week. I know that go out with another couple often. The wives are like best friends.

DH and I don’t have a good enough couple friend we want to hang out with as a couple that badly.

The implication in the bolded is that if you go out without your kids you DON'T like spending time with them? Otherwise, why mention it?

I generally find people who don't socialize with other couples either with family or adults only just generally don't have any friends.

Probably because they're obnoxious enough to mention their seven-figure income as if it is relevant and say other people don't like spending time with our kids.

Pp here. We have lots of friends. In fact, we have back to back summer vacations with friends the next two weeks. We hang out as families.

I’m going on a separate girls trip with just moms and DH is going away with some guys. I think for us, DH isn’t necessary super close with my girlfriends’ husbands and vice versa. I’m not crazy about my husband’s best friend’s wife. We do double date with my one friend and her husband. They are childless and live out of state. Most of our local friends are family friends because we moved here after having children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever we want. Not sure I could put a frequency on it. But we have a nanny, so we have a built-in sitter (assuming she's free) and our friends do as well, so no one is either hurting financially or looking for childcare. However, I don't think it's totally a class thing, as someone put it, because my best friend does the same and she and her husband are not remotely wealthy (under $100K combined income with two kids) and the kids were both in daycare so they never had a nanny and they use college sitters. I think if there's a will there's a way, although I think money makes the way easier, for sure.

We have a seven figure income and cost of sitter is a non-issue. We still never go out with couples. This is probably the way we socialize though. DH and I go out solo with our friends pretty frequently and also do date night a few times per month.

We have three children and like spending time with them.

We have a friend with a standing date night once per week. I know that go out with another couple often. The wives are like best friends.

DH and I don’t have a good enough couple friend we want to hang out with as a couple that badly.

The implication in the bolded is that if you go out without your kids you DON'T like spending time with them? Otherwise, why mention it?

I generally find people who don't socialize with other couples either with family or adults only just generally don't have any friends.

Probably because they're obnoxious enough to mention their seven-figure income as if it is relevant and say other people don't like spending time with our kids.

Why not go out just you and DH?

Anonymous wrote:Whenever we want. Not sure I could put a frequency on it. But we have a nanny, so we have a built-in sitter (assuming she's free) and our friends do as well, so no one is either hurting financially or looking for childcare. However, I don't think it's totally a class thing, as someone put it, because my best friend does the same and she and her husband are not remotely wealthy (under $100K combined income with two kids) and the kids were both in daycare so they never had a nanny and they use college sitters. I think if there's a will there's a way, although I think money makes the way easier, for sure.

We have a seven figure income and cost of sitter is a non-issue. We still never go out with couples. This is probably the way we socialize though. DH and I go out solo with our friends pretty frequently and also do date night a few times per month.

We have three children and like spending time with them.

We have a friend with a standing date night once per week. I know that go out with another couple often. The wives are like best friends.

DH and I don’t have a good enough couple friend we want to hang out with as a couple that badly.

Anonymous wrote:Once a week. We make it a priority and schedule it. It’s really important to remember who you are as a person and couple. Most of our friends have kids and we also make it a priority not to spend the evening talking about our kids.

+1. Same. Every Saturday night we schedule an evening out with friends. Sometimes a movie and dinner or a play/concert and sometimes just a leisurely dinner. It’s so important to connect with each other and friends and discuss politics, current affairs, books, whatever... just not talk about our kids.

Probably every week, if not at least once every two weeks. We hire a babysitter when we can, sometimes even to help out if one of us has a lot of work to do on the weekend.

Whenever we want. Not sure I could put a frequency on it. But we have a nanny, so we have a built-in sitter (assuming she's free) and our friends do as well, so no one is either hurting financially or looking for childcare. However, I don't think it's totally a class thing, as someone put it, because my best friend does the same and she and her husband are not remotely wealthy (under $100K combined income with two kids) and the kids were both in daycare so they never had a nanny and they use college sitters. I think if there's a will there's a way, although I think money makes the way easier, for sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. We do not have a sitter. Sometimes I will go out with friends or my husband will.

Get a sitter!

+1. This behavior seems very common and it’s extremely unhealthy.

For a lot of people, it is purely a financial thing. Have some empathy.

At least once a month, it's a must. I can't imagine having all my outings with a toddler in tow

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. We do not have a sitter. Sometimes I will go out with friends or my husband will.

Get a sitter!

+1. This behavior seems very common and it’s extremely unhealthy.

-1. Going out grown-ups only is unusual, worldwide. Especially if frequently.

We do go to a couple things a year that amount to this-- like a fundraiser for our kid's old preschool that is adult-only and draws several of our "couple-friends" (obviously we met via the school).

Otherwise, we do get together as families, or among families (some couple friends don't have kids, but the kids are still there). Which is fine? Because the kids go off and play together and we have plenty of "grown up" conversation?

I wouldn't be averse to going out just as grown-ups, but I don't see the problem. Nothing is really lacking for us. Maybe it's because our kid is old enough (6) that she can really go off and play, and most of our friends' kids also are. It's not a huge deal IMO, and trust me, I'm not a huge kid fan generally, and I enjoy grown-up conversation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. We do not have a sitter. Sometimes I will go out with friends or my husband will.

Get a sitter!

+1. This behavior seems very common and it’s extremely unhealthy.

This is a class thing.