Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a PITA to deal with travel and emergencies with 4. I have 3, my sister has 5. We have considered a 4th many times, but as our youngest gets older (she’s 2.5), we’re more and more at peace with “only” 3. It’s already difficult with vacation planning, getting a suite instead of a regular hotel room (or getting two separate rooms). Getting an Uber or regular taxi in a pinch is more difficult. It’s still doable, but it’s just more, and not in a fun way. These reasons alone may not be enough to nix having a 4th, but there examples of many inconveniences that I certainly didn’t think about when we were making #3.

Reading your post, though, OP, the only reason you need is that DH isn’t on board. It’s not that his feelings are more important than yours, it’s that you both can deal with your resentment as adults, but if he’s the one that gets the resentment, in this scenario, there’s another child that has to deal with it.

I'm not sure it's wise to base the decision on inconveniences like uber or hotel rooms...particularly with a HHI of $500k.

We have 4 kids. We travel a lot, and we either rent a suite, villa or two hotel rooms. And we've never used uber (rent a car, hire a driver, get a minivan/SUV taxi, etc.). And our HHI is *only* $250ish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love is infinite. However time and money are finite. Whatever you have to give to the fourth will take away from the other three.

Not quite. And not really a money issue when your HHI is $500.

Anonymous wrote:I really want a fourth but my husband is less convinced. He is more focused on the financial aspect of another kid, which I realize is not insignificant. We make around 500k so we could afford another kid but in his eyes, it would detract from the lifestyle we could provide for the three we have right now. With our three, we can afford to fully pay for their educations, do some pretty cool travel, let them go to whatever camps or extracurricular activities they want, etc. etc.

The point is, we don't really have to worry about money right now but we might after having a fourth.

Is that a good reason not to have a child you want?

Anonymous wrote:It’s a PITA to deal with travel and emergencies with 4. I have 3, my sister has 5. We have considered a 4th many times, but as our youngest gets older (she’s 2.5), we’re more and more at peace with “only” 3. It’s already difficult with vacation planning, getting a suite instead of a regular hotel room (or getting two separate rooms). Getting an Uber or regular taxi in a pinch is more difficult. It’s still doable, but it’s just more, and not in a fun way. These reasons alone may not be enough to nix having a 4th, but there examples of many inconveniences that I certainly didn’t think about when we were making #3.

Reading your post, though, OP, the only reason you need is that DH isn’t on board. It’s not that his feelings are more important than yours, it’s that you both can deal with your resentment as adults, but if he’s the one that gets the resentment, in this scenario, there’s another child that has to deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do a little googling on the environment. Stop being selfish

x1000

Yes!

If you have excess energy for children you can foster or adopt?

I would but my husband has less then 0 interest in this.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a PITA to deal with travel and emergencies with 4. I have 3, my sister has 5. We have considered a 4th many times, but as our youngest gets older (she’s 2.5), we’re more and more at peace with “only” 3. It’s already difficult with vacation planning, getting a suite instead of a regular hotel room (or getting two separate rooms). Getting an Uber or regular taxi in a pinch is more difficult. It’s still doable, but it’s just more, and not in a fun way. These reasons alone may not be enough to nix having a 4th, but there examples of many inconveniences that I certainly didn’t think about when we were making #3.

Reading your post, though, OP, the only reason you need is that DH isn’t on board. It’s not that his feelings are more important than yours, it’s that you both can deal with your resentment as adults, but if he’s the one that gets the resentment, in this scenario, there’s another child that has to deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do a little googling on the environment. Stop being selfish

x1000

Yes!

If you have excess energy for children you can foster or adopt?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do a little googling on the environment. Stop being selfish

x1000

Anonymous wrote:Your husband doesn't want another kid. Period.

But don't be fooled by the money argument. You make $500k. Another kid won't be a financial burden. I mean, you aren't falling for that argument, are you?

My SIL often laments the fact that they "couldn't afford" a third kid. They live in a $2 million professionally decorated home in a desirable area. Kids in top private prep schools. Country club. Multiple vacations each year (think: Tuscany, Greece, Japan, 4 Seasons Nevis, etc). She's a SAHM who plays tennis at the club and hasn't worked since she got pregnant. I'm sure her husband earns far more than $500k, yet he somehow managed to convince her they couldn't afford a third. Weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are a little hooked on the pregnancy/baby stage. Can you see yourself not in this role anymore? Do you feel like you might end up wanting 5 if you do have 4? I don’t think your husband’s reluctance is money-based. That’s a ton of kids close in age.

No I don't want 5.

Families with 4 kids is really common in the suburbs.

Anonymous wrote:Love is infinite. However time and money are finite. Whatever you have to give to the fourth will take away from the other three.