Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.

You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.

Who says it's a man? Gay marriage is legal nationwide now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.

You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.

I’m not one of her parents, and I’m not trying to marry her off for my personal benefit. Why do you keep trying to sexualize this when I’ve explained it repeatedly? You should chill. Seriously. I don’t have someone picked out for her to marry. I am searching for some kind of solution that doesn’t include her going back and getting beaten.

I am desperate for ideas on how to help this situation. Moving forward with an order of protection sounds like it could at least buy her some time. It would also remove the guns from the father’s possession.

hire the mom a lawyer if you're desperate.

That was my first thought. If I had any money to spare, that’s what I would be doing.

I appreciate the advice here. She is going to look into getting an injunction/ order of protection. I think there’s a chance that the judge will say it’s an attempt to circumvent the custody order, but it will buy her a couple of weeks to consider her options. I hope it works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.

You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.

I’m not one of her parents, and I’m not trying to marry her off for my personal benefit. Why do you keep trying to sexualize this when I’ve explained it repeatedly? You should chill. Seriously. I don’t have someone picked out for her to marry. I am searching for some kind of solution that doesn’t include her going back and getting beaten.

I am desperate for ideas on how to help this situation. Moving forward with an order of protection sounds like it could at least buy her some time. It would also remove the guns from the father’s possession.

hire the mom a lawyer if you're desperate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.

You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.

I’m not one of her parents, and I’m not trying to marry her off for my personal benefit. Why do you keep trying to sexualize this when I’ve explained it repeatedly? You should chill. Seriously. I don’t have someone picked out for her to marry. I am searching for some kind of solution that doesn’t include her going back and getting beaten.

I am desperate for ideas on how to help this situation. Moving forward with an order of protection sounds like it could at least buy her some time. It would also remove the guns from the father’s possession.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.

You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be some kind of way to get this before the family court judge on an emergency basis, with the CPS reports. I'd probably sooner run away with my kid or send her to relatives than set up a sham marriage. I mean, really?

Plus there would be another person involved. It’s not fair to ask a young person to participate in a fake marriage and have that be part of their legal history forever.

Anonymous wrote:There should be some kind of way to get this before the family court judge on an emergency basis, with the CPS reports. I'd probably sooner run away with my kid or send her to relatives than set up a sham marriage. I mean, really?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.

You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever advise a 17 year to get married. She needs counseling and healing. Does she have anywhere else to go?

The custody order is the issue. She can live with her mother full time if they can find a way around that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.

I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.