Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other people’s babies always seem easier than your own.

+1

Also, I remember my husband being amazed when other parents said that their babies were sleeping through the night. Then he would learn that, in fact, those babies were waking up to feed during the night, but the parents didn't count that because the babies went right back to sleep or something. So always take what other people tell you with a grain of salt.

And so much of it is innate temperament. I mean, you can make it worse--if the baby wakes up to eat, don't turn on the lights and start playing with the baby. Keep the lights low, don't talk, basically do whatever you can to demonstrate that nighttime is boring and no fun and not worth waking up for. You can provide a dark, quiet place to sleep. And you can try to create a consistent routine to help the baby settle down. But you can't make a baby sleep. And different babies fall asleep more or less easily. Comparing your baby to others will never end well, regardless of the metric.

I had one unicorn baby and one no limit soldier, who thought and who still thinks (at 8) sleep is for idiots.

Our first kid was a horrible sleeper, but was an easy kid and teen. Next kid was much easier as a baby, but is our more-difficult teen. Both were full-term, though the first had a traumatic birth--rushed to NICU and kept there several days. I've always wondered about the impact of that early separation.

I have 4 children who were super easy babies, and now very chill, older children. DH and I are laid back, calm people, but we never did anything special. My niece had silent reflux and it was hell for my sister and BIl. I often went over at night to watch my niece so they could finally get some sleep. Don't compare yourself to others, especially if they haven't dealt with reflux.

My unicorn baby was born at 41 weeks 3 days, but I think it's just a coin flip. I think with reflux having a baby only get up 1-2x a night at 8 weeks is pretty good, especially if you adjust age for due date. Hang in there, your baby will get easier, and your friends will have bumps in the road.

#2, 4 & 5 were easy, “unicorn” babies. A big part of it was that I knew what to do with my last two. It became obvious when they needed me to respond, when they needed reassurance, and when they just needed to be somewhere quiet because they were overstimulated.

I think raising babies would be a lot easier if new moms had a LOT more help from experienced moms. It’s hard to figure things out from reading a book.

Anonymous wrote:Other people’s babies always seem easier than your own.

No way. Mine always seemed much easier compared to others horrors stories. Or maybe I just sleep trained at 5 months and they lived through 2 years of sleeplessness.

Anonymous wrote:Other people’s babies always seem easier than your own.

+1

Also, I remember my husband being amazed when other parents said that their babies were sleeping through the night. Then he would learn that, in fact, those babies were waking up to feed during the night, but the parents didn't count that because the babies went right back to sleep or something. So always take what other people tell you with a grain of salt.

And so much of it is innate temperament. I mean, you can make it worse--if the baby wakes up to eat, don't turn on the lights and start playing with the baby. Keep the lights low, don't talk, basically do whatever you can to demonstrate that nighttime is boring and no fun and not worth waking up for. You can provide a dark, quiet place to sleep. And you can try to create a consistent routine to help the baby settle down. But you can't make a baby sleep. And different babies fall asleep more or less easily. Comparing your baby to others will never end well, regardless of the metric.

I had a baby at 35 weeks by c-section that had reflux. Pretty easy going good sleeper once we got the reflux meds sorted out. I mean, wasn't sleeping through the night by 12 weeks, but would wake, eat, go back to sleep pretty predictably, and was fairly easy to get to sleep through the night once we stopped needing those feeds, though we didn't drop the last one till about 9 months. She has her fathers temperament though, and is a fairly reasonable 2 year old, and still sleeps like a champ overnight.

First (3 weeks early) was a relative unicorn. Pleasant and enjoyable baby and toddler turned into a very compliant child, a somewhat moody teen and now a pretty anxious, uptight young adult.

Second (5 weeks early) was a horror of a baby, flat out miserable toddler, miraculous switch to easy temperament preschooler, happy gem of a kid at school age and now a dream teenager.

There was a no third child after that!!

No idea why they are as they are. Supposedly DH and I were easy children and are laid back adults who were confident new parents.

OP - my 6 year old was a unicorn baby and toddler. We never had the terrible twos and she was never a threenager. She's six now and recently discovered how to push our limits. There's been a lot of yelling and screaming lately. Your friends will get what's coming to them, haha!

My daughter was a really good baby. She was born full-term and weighed 8 lbs. She ate well and slept pretty well and was sleeping through the night relatively early. She was a fairly happy kid who was fine with her daycare ladies and strangers in general. She was also an easy 2-year-old and an easy 3-year-old.

4 was very tough for some reason. All of a sudden she was very willful and stubborn and acted more. And we were completely caught off guard. But we disciplined, and it passed and she became a perfectly delightful human again.

I think every kid has a rough phase at some point - you don't always know when it's going to be. And some kids are more difficult than others, for whatever reason.

My second son is a unicorn.

He was easy and calm from BIRTH. The room was calm and peaceful when he was born, everyone cooed at him. He was perfect.

He was born on time, but via C section because he was extremely stubbornly transverse.

He always slept through the night. He slept on the go, at home through noise. He's 2.5 now and always pleasant. Easy, content, beautiful. He has inherited my dad's disposition; I recognize it easily. He's calm and delightful.

My first son is uptight and never slept.

1st kid woke up during the night until weaned at 15 months. Cried 2-3 hours/week for no reason, usually during 4-6 pm "witching" hours until 4 months or so. Cluster fed post-witching until bedtime (literally BFed for 80% of a 4 hour period) until 4 months or so. Pretty easy toddler -- very verbal/understandable, which is a lifesaver as it turns out. 1 major tantrum ever. Somewhat more defiant 4.5 year old than we would like, but very well behaved at school and likely around the 50%ile behavior-wise for this age. FT; c-section.

2nd kid still wakes up 50% of the time at age 2.5, though he was down to 1 wake up months earlier than kid #1. Much easier baby. Less than 1 hour/week of crying for no discernable reason. No real witching period, though lots of (not quite as intense) cluster feeding. Much more difficult toddler than kid #1, not helped by being average verbally (all the words, but difficult to understand). A couple of tantrums a month. FT; c-section.

3rd kid sleeps through the night more than second kid despite being 8 months (probably sleeps 8-6 5 nights/week). 2 unexplained crying spells ever. Smiliest baby we've had. Future remains to be seen. C-section just pre-FT (38 weeks).

It was a painful journey, but I slept train my 1st baby successfully through the night for 10-12 hours at 9 weeks old. He slept in his crib in his room at 4 weeks. He napped really well during the daytime. He was an overall happy baby. During daytime, he cried everytime he has a wet/dirty diaper & when he was hungry.

For second baby, she slept train herself to sleep for 10-12 hours at 6 weeks old. And, she naps really well. She slept in her crib in her room from day 1. She does not cry even when she is hungry. She gives me a big smile when she sees me in the morning.

DH loves to sleep all day, and I am the opposite (a night owl).

I do - he’s 13 now and has been this way his entire life. Born at 39 weeks (induced, but had been dilated at 5cm for 3 weeks prior), 9lbs 9 oz and, no exaggeration, STTN from day one. At the 2 week appt, I was “talked to” because I didn’t wake him up in the middle of the night for a bottle, I ignored them because he had no weight loss and would wake if he was actually hungry. He was 100% formula, so I knew exactly how much he was consuming.

He did have reflux, which was fixed with an “added rice” (thicker) formula.

He was never on a strict schedule and ate/napped within ranges of time. We didn’t cater our schedule around his and went out when we needed/wanted during the day and he napped in the stroller or car seat. We also didn’t keep the house completely silent during nap time - we didn’t purposely make noise, but he slept within hearing distance of a tv or while I was doing dishes.

My husband and I are both pretty easy going and tend to think big picture, so didn’t sweat the small stuff (generally speaking, I wasn’t a fan of people always trying to touch him). As I mentioned, he’s 13 now and has never had a temper tantrum. He’s been upset about things, of course, but never has had a tantrum/screaming/tears/lying on the ground sort of thing.

I think most of it was luck/nature that this is his personality and a little bit may be nurture. I’ve joked that I paid my dues during the pregnancy (awful), so had an easy baby and/or was given what I could handle.