Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 15:20     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
im the pp -- with a bit of a shame-face i want to add that I am a good person(never cheated) in a great marriage who ended up enmeshed in an inappropriate attraction to another never-cheater. I think it shocked us both but at some point the feelings take over -- it was really hard to cut it off.

please help him get out of this before too late!
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 15:09     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
OP, i believe that he's a good husband -- this kind of attraction happens to good people and takes everyone by surprise.

Nip it in the bud.

Tell him what you saw, listen, and hopefully get him to see that it is causing a threat to your marriage. Hopefully he will agree to completely end contact with her.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 15:06     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
You've gotten some good advice here. Personally, I would simply block her number from his phone (without his knowing) and let that be the end of it.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 14:52     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:OP: we are late 40s and this situation has totally caught me off guard. I feel disrespected. You hear about people carrying on at HS or college reunions, but not with the kids you were sharing crayons with in the second grade.

He kept in touch with two people from those days through the years and has never brought up contact with anyone else so doubt there was any communication with this woman beforehand.

It is not easy for me to bring this up because he has been a very good husband. But I can also see that as a couple moved through life, sensitive issues need to be discussed.


Hi OP, man here who could be your DH. I would nip this in the bud but be prepared to forgive and move on. Someone posted good advice above. Tell him the truth that you saw one pic, snooped her profile, saw some more and you are hurt by him carrying on and texting with her and it needs to end. Let him know you can empathize with him feeling desired but it can only lead down dangerous roads. Then jump his bones and remind him what he can lose at home
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 14:25     Subject: Re:Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
I let one text go and things went downhill fast (because low-self esteem and career in toilet after 10 years of being primary caregiver and shock/disbelief). DH realized I was suspicious and moved to snapchat. Did not divorce, but by the time I confronted all evidence was gone or at least not in any place I could access it. I think it was over by that time, and possibly just an EA based on what I did find, but who knows and now I know what he's capable of. On the positive side, my career is improving, I'm working on my self-esteem and I'm prepared enough to get divorced. (Not fat/never withheld sex/initiated approx. 1/2 the time.)
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 14:13     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:“What’s going on with bathing suit girl? Is there something I should know?” And then sit back and listen, don’t talk.





This right here.

This is perfect. Or just “what’s going on with [her name].” Then silence, let him talk.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 13:39     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:Nothing overtly sexual!? Seems pretty sexual to me.


They are both being sexual!! I would ask him straight up what happened, and then I would tell him that the texts are inappropriate from both and that it must stop immediately. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 13:38     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Take screenshots of the texts and pictures and text them to yourself, then talk to him.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 13:36     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
First, make sure your fingerprint can open his phone in case he puts a lock on it. Then confront.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 13:15     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
If some broad sent my DH bathing suit photos I’d kill him, then her. Hell no.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 13:09     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
This IS overtly sexual!!!!! WTF; it’s completely inappropriate and disrespectful to you. End it now.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 13:07     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:“What’s going on with bathing suit girl? Is there something I should know?” And then sit back and listen, don’t talk.





This right here.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 13:03     Subject: Re:Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:Your husband is crossing boundaries into the single man world. The 1st picture of her looking at him fine the 2nd of her hugging him nope not ok. That picture alone can lead people to believe that theres more going on. And the 3rd bathing suit pick shows she has no morals because what grown adult woman sends a married man pictures like that. You need to confront and speak to your husband now and let him know that the texting and pictures is unacceptable and it needs to stop. It looks like even though you say he wouldn't cheat it may go there if this continues.

Me personally would have replied back and told the other woman hey nice pic but it's really classless when a grown woman is sexting s married man. Signed his wife hope you find a good man of your own.


Women—of high moral standing or not—do not just randomly send pictures like that. There is likely a sexual (or at least romantic) relationship between these two.

Stop blaming the other woman, and start blaming the husband.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 12:58     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
They are just playing at being young and single again. I definitely had a ‘girlfriend’ in elementary school, and if I ran into her it could be fun to flirt.

He probably figures he will never see her again so some cutesy messages is safe. You feel like not. However your prying through his messages speaks of other issues.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2019 12:36     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Talk to him and show him what you have seen. Report back.