Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 16:37     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:He will do work to pay back the $20 for ruined cards. He can keep these once he has paid them off.

He will go with you with no screens or toys etc. on the trip to the store and he will pick out the pack that will be the gift for the other boy. Long discussions about gifts and gifting in car.

He will go to the party and be a damn fine guest.


OK, so what the kid learns here is that if he wants something, he should damage it and it will then become his. There is no way I would allow my child to keep those cards.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 16:36     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would of put the gift away as soon as he said he wanted to open it.



Would of.

Disheartening how many people no longer make the distinction and don't understant the contraction would've.


Understant

I’m not the PP you’re correcting, but are you the same poster who corrected me when I wrote “their” when I meant “there?” When you have a form of communication that blurs the lines between spoken and written, even people who know the difference can make that sort of slip. Not to mention autocorrect— if my finger slips and I leave off the last letter of “there,” my phone autofills “their.”

Understant?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 16:16     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:I would of put the gift away as soon as he said he wanted to open it.



Would of.

Disheartening how many people no longer make the distinction and don't understant the contraction would've.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 16:12     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
He will do work to pay back the $20 for ruined cards. He can keep these once he has paid them off.

He will go with you with no screens or toys etc. on the trip to the store and he will pick out the pack that will be the gift for the other boy. Long discussions about gifts and gifting in car.

He will go to the party and be a damn fine guest.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 16:12     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Op here- neighbor boy will notice and be sad if son doesn’t come. Daughter will be attending anyways so we need a gift.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 16:03     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:7 year old DS asked to open the Pokemon card set I bought for his friends birthday party tomorrow and I said no, explaining that you can't give an opened set of cards as gift. He did it anyways while I was busy with his sibling and I am SO MAD! We now need to find an extra gift for this kid (meaning another store trip in the next 24 hours), and the cards themselves are messed up so basically $20 is totally down the drain. Giving him the cards is not an option.

I lectured him in the car all the way to camp while he cried his eyes out. What should be his punishment? He does not have $20 to repurchase the gift, nor will he care to miss this kids birthday party as its a neighborhood friend that he doesn't particularly care for at a meh location.

Thanks!


He doesn't get the cards, you tell the other parents he has to stay home as punishment (so no birthday party for the other kid and no extra present for you to buy.) He then gets to do chores with your supervision during the time of the bday party, and he does enough to "earn" the 20.00 back...or enough for a seven year old. Or sit in timeout with no toys.


This is the answer.

At the expense of the party boy, who did nothing wrong.

He won't notice whether or not the kid from down the street that he isn't friends with showed up.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 16:01     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:7 year old DS asked to open the Pokemon card set I bought for his friends birthday party tomorrow and I said no, explaining that you can't give an opened set of cards as gift. He did it anyways while I was busy with his sibling and I am SO MAD! We now need to find an extra gift for this kid (meaning another store trip in the next 24 hours), and the cards themselves are messed up so basically $20 is totally down the drain. Giving him the cards is not an option.

I lectured him in the car all the way to camp while he cried his eyes out. What should be his punishment? He does not have $20 to repurchase the gift, nor will he care to miss this kids birthday party as its a neighborhood friend that he doesn't particularly care for at a meh location.

Thanks!


He doesn't get the cards, you tell the other parents he has to stay home as punishment (so no birthday party for the other kid and no extra present for you to buy.) He then gets to do chores with your supervision during the time of the bday party, and he does enough to "earn" the 20.00 back...or enough for a seven year old. Or sit in timeout with no toys.


This is the answer.

At the expense of the party boy, who did nothing wrong.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:55     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:7 year old DS asked to open the Pokemon card set I bought for his friends birthday party tomorrow and I said no, explaining that you can't give an opened set of cards as gift. He did it anyways while I was busy with his sibling and I am SO MAD! We now need to find an extra gift for this kid (meaning another store trip in the next 24 hours), and the cards themselves are messed up so basically $20 is totally down the drain. Giving him the cards is not an option.

I lectured him in the car all the way to camp while he cried his eyes out. What should be his punishment? He does not have $20 to repurchase the gift, nor will he care to miss this kids birthday party as its a neighborhood friend that he doesn't particularly care for at a meh location.

Thanks!


He doesn't get the cards, you tell the other parents he has to stay home as punishment (so no birthday party for the other kid and no extra present for you to buy.) He then gets to do chores with your supervision during the time of the bday party, and he does enough to "earn" the 20.00 back...or enough for a seven year old. Or sit in timeout with no toys.


This is the answer.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:37     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:7 year old DS asked to open the Pokemon card set I bought for his friends birthday party tomorrow and I said no, explaining that you can't give an opened set of cards as gift. He did it anyways while I was busy with his sibling and I am SO MAD! We now need to find an extra gift for this kid (meaning another store trip in the next 24 hours), and the cards themselves are messed up so basically $20 is totally down the drain. Giving him the cards is not an option.

I lectured him in the car all the way to camp while he cried his eyes out. What should be his punishment? He does not have $20 to repurchase the gift, nor will he care to miss this kids birthday party as its a neighborhood friend that he doesn't particularly care for at a meh location.

Thanks!


He doesn't get the cards, you tell the other parents he has to stay home as punishment (so no birthday party for the other kid and no extra present for you to buy.) He then gets to do chores with your supervision during the time of the bday party, and he does enough to "earn" the 20.00 back...or enough for a seven year old. Or sit in timeout with no toys.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:33     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Whatever, take a Valium woman, it is a pack of dumb cards.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:32     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:Op here- we won’t miss the birthday, the kid doesn’t have a lot of friends and really likes my son. Honestly, it’s more of a punishment to make him go. Maybe I should ask if he can stay for longer?!

He doesn’t get allowance so that’s out.

He has been increasingly defiant as summer has progressing.

He’s an alpha child and is always trying to lead the pack, including me his mother. I feel that this is also about teaching respect for women as he often feels that his way is the right way and argues with me (more then his father) when I tell him to do something.


This is interesting but the gender angle is only one possibility. My kids listen to me better than DH but it isn’t gender - it’s how we relate to the kids. Can you look for or ask for tips in this regard?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:28     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
He’s only 7. Your lecture was enough. Get another gift and move on. Pick your battles.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:25     Subject: Re:Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of nutters on this thread. 6 hours of chores? Cancel his own birthday party? I hope you people are joking.

OP: OMG why is this the end of the world for you? He's 7. He made a mistake. Does he have a lot of problems with self control or something?

Anyway I would not be making another trip to the store. Ask him to help you brainstorm how to fix the situation. Maybe he can make a homemade gift. Forky is in right now.


He's 7. This was not an accident. He asked for a thing, mom said no, so he waited the opportunity to do it anyway. 6 hours of chores hardly seems like the end of the world. It's not like he's pulling a factory shift or something. It's less than a week of dishes and some laundry. Of course, cancelling his own birthday is extreme.

If it was just that the kid opened the present, I could see it being a small thing; it would be frustrating, but not worth a big reaction. But doing something that you have been explicitly told not to do? That's an important boundary being crossed.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:12     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:Tell him his own birthday party is cancelled.


Dp. You really think this is a fair and kind thing to do for a seven year old? He is still young and makes mistakes.

Where did you learn how to be a parent frim Snow whites evil step mother or Cinderella?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2019 15:08     Subject: Help me find a punishment to fit this crime
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I understand that the lecturing was not helpful but honestly I was too mad to care. I am not a robot and I was furious at him! His little sister said “cover your ears like this” lol!!

Your reaction says more about you than his behavior says about him. He acted like a 7 year old testing boundaries and poor self control when he's tempted. You threw a tantrum over a birthday gift for a kid your kid doesn't even like. What is the lesson here? Fake it to get people to like you? 100% compliance at all times, no mistakes allowed?

I don't know, it sounds like this was yet another in a string of deliberate defiance and she lost it. It's human.