Anonymous
07/03/2019 10:17
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
I guess my question would be: what was your goal in sending her? To teach her about building houses? To have a service trip for college applications? To teach her about leadership, teamwork, perseverance?
If it’s the first two, then you’ve accomplished your goal, and she can come home.
She is old enough to learn to play nice with mean girls. She will be experiencing them for the rest of her life, much as she will the drudgery of doing things you’re not that interested in doing.
For me, there is more value in having her stay than coming home. There are leadership and self reflection lessons here. This isn’t a safety issue, like being at a party where the kids are drinking. In that case there is more value in showing her that you will back her up when times are tough. But needing to rescue her just because she’s unhappy, or the situation wasn’t what she expected? That would be a non starter for me.
If it’s the first two, then you’ve accomplished your goal, and she can come home.
She is old enough to learn to play nice with mean girls. She will be experiencing them for the rest of her life, much as she will the drudgery of doing things you’re not that interested in doing.
For me, there is more value in having her stay than coming home. There are leadership and self reflection lessons here. This isn’t a safety issue, like being at a party where the kids are drinking. In that case there is more value in showing her that you will back her up when times are tough. But needing to rescue her just because she’s unhappy, or the situation wasn’t what she expected? That would be a non starter for me.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 09:31
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
You've probably made up your mind already but you said she made one close friend. I am going to assume the close friend feels the same way your daughter does about this trip.
That would really suck for the friend if your daughter just up and left and left her alone for the rest of the trip. How would your daughter feel if her close friend did that to her?
That would really suck for the friend if your daughter just up and left and left her alone for the rest of the trip. How would your daughter feel if her close friend did that to her?
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:58
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
I’ve told my kids I will come if you are in danger or I’ll. I won’t come if you are bored. It takes a few nos in middle school for them to learn the difference.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:58
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
I wouldn't have let her go. Service trips are the epitome of self-serving entitlement.
However, since you all fell for it and she's there, she should stick it out. It's only a few more days.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:56
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Unless she’s in danger, she stays. Yeah, it’s boring. Yeah, she sees a lot of wasted time, effort, etc.
But it’s an opportunity to problem solve. It would be wonderful if she could be a leader and get something going again. But that might be too much to ask. It would be too much for my son.
But they can learn to entertain themselves. They can learn to navigate annoying social environments. Think of her work future when she’s dependent on the paycheck and has obnoxious coworkers. How will she handle that? This is a preview in a safer context.
But it’s an opportunity to problem solve. It would be wonderful if she could be a leader and get something going again. But that might be too much to ask. It would be too much for my son.
But they can learn to entertain themselves. They can learn to navigate annoying social environments. Think of her work future when she’s dependent on the paycheck and has obnoxious coworkers. How will she handle that? This is a preview in a safer context.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:42
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
off topic but I have never worked in an office where it was appropriate to ask anyone to get you coffee (and I had plenty of crap jobs, like running the fax machine when that was cutting edge technology)
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:37
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Anonymous wrote:Are the pro-rescue posters also the same ones that get mad when their intern kid is asked to fetch coffee or make copies?
They're the ones who get mad when the interns are offended by requests to fetch coffee or make copies.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:26
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Are the pro-rescue posters also the same ones that get mad when their intern kid is asked to fetch coffee or make copies?
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:21
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Anonymous wrote:15 year old girls have the skills to build people houses?
Some of it is not skilled work. I grew up poor in the inner city. Our landlord didn’t fix anything ever. At 15, I learned how to put down some roofing and fix flooring.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:16
Subject: Re:Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. Sure. It can do more damage long term then good.
Kids are still not sure how they will take the time away form home and emotions can be very unpredictable and it can be pretty painful experience in all, not everybody is mature enough to handle forced exhale undertookenvoluntarily
There will be other opportunities. Your kid needs more home now, not much time left before flying away for good.
Also possible that something bad is happening and kid is not in the position to tell you everything maybe never will but it is possible DC is sending signals. that you don't decode properly. I would get the kid out immediately.
The problem with adults is that adult usually does not put themselves in the position that they can not get out, they also know what they can handle, kid is not so much.. kid can not asses due to lack of experience if kid will manage, and also they can not just pack and leave. So I vote yes, take kid out, if I were that kid I would be very upset and hold resentment for a good while to yo as my mom
At the end of the day a kid never remember one more or one less camp but knowing you can rely on your parent in a time of need - priceless. That you never forget.
+1000
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:14
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Anonymous wrote:Teens going on “service trips” are complete bullshit. Colleges see through then too. He might as well bring her home. No one is learning anything by making her sit there doing nothing for another few days.
(Teens should not be doing “habitat” type work. They have no actual skills and slow down work or do it sloppy and cost more time and money. Underserved communities and people would be much better served with direct grants that put local people to work or actual professionals donating their time. Kids and church families doing service is just to make themselves feel good and is disgusting.)
It is a pointless resume stuffer. Might as well come home. She could be learning the complete wrong lesson anyway: it’s ok to stay in a not working and pointless situation no matter what.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 08:07
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Stays unless in danger. I can’t believe you parents who would go get her. That’s coddling to the extremev
Anonymous
07/03/2019 07:16
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
So what are you going to do, OP?
Anonymous
07/03/2019 07:10
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
She stays.
Anonymous
07/03/2019 06:59
Subject: Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?
Anonymous wrote:The lesson is that people can waste your valuable time? No. She comes home.
I’d pick her up in a pinch.