I started out as a 1-child mom, the way I always pictured it. (Single mom by choice.)

When my daughter was 3 I met my husband and we adopted 2 children internationally. I am thrilled with my 3 but would never have done it if I did not have a partner and an appropriate income. So either way I got what I wanted!

Anonymous wrote:There are already a million threads on this please search OP. People are dying of covid and hospitals are filled up and all you can think of is about another baby now in this pandemic?? You are already blessed with 2 kids get some perspective and try to see the big picture.. unless baby making is very urgent situation or something

This thread is a year old, doubt OP was thinking about covid when she started it.

There are already a million threads on this please search OP. People are dying of covid and hospitals are filled up and all you can think of is about another baby now in this pandemic?? You are already blessed with 2 kids get some perspective and try to see the big picture.. unless baby making is very urgent situation or something

My third is 17 months and it’s very tough. We temporarily moved in with my parents because we need to work and with a 6.5, 4.5 and 17 months old it was very hard. Even with my mom’s help, it’s hard. I hope my older two’s private school will reopen in September so life can go back to normal. We had a nanny for my younger one and things were really great and not so hard before COVID... since then it has been hard.

My third is great and is a different sex from the first 2. He is great, easy going, funny, but a bad sleeper unfortunately. I am sure it will get better soon! I don’t regret having him obviously, but life would have been really easy during COVID if we only had the older two to parent

B here! There wasn’t a huge gap between 2 and 3 but our older two were 4 and 6 when we went for the third. Love love love having three and love love love the age spread.

D. Thinking about having a third makes my palms sweat.

Anonymous wrote:As has been discussed here 2x a week for 10 years, many people felt conflicted. If they went for it they were later frustrated by the hassle of trying to work a household of older kids who can do more and want to do more with the schedule of a baby. People are pulled too thin and there’s spousal resentment that the previously smooth life was disrupted by a third baby.

Or, they had the third baby and everyone loves third baby and they can’t imagine life without third baby and nobody minds one parent doing fun stuff with older ones while other parent sits home with third baby. Those are your options.

There is another option: hiring a quality nanny to take care of third baby when you and the older kids want to do activities and travel. Not that there is any of that going on now with covid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B-ish. Try not to sit at home as much but tag along with the fun older kid stuff with baby in tow. Agree with PP, had a 4th, love them more than the 3rd. Not the child themselves, but their fit in the family, etc. 3rd almost broke us but so glad we had another to complete the fam.

This is us, too. The 4th is a joy and changed the family dynamic in a great way.

So what you’re saying is the 3rd is a bad idea and usually kinda sucks but is necessary to get to the 4th kid who restores equilibrium and makes family life tolerable again.

2nd poster here. For us, 3 was better than 2, and 4 is better than 3. My oldest 2 got closer when we had the 3rd. Then we had the 4th, and they all adore the baby, and it’s just a lot of fun to watch them all interact.

I’m at C right now. :-/
Hopefully I won’t feel like that after a few years.

I’m a “D” with occasional mild regret but nothing major. I love babies and toddlers (minus the sleep issues) and I’m sad those days are gone for me. But otherwise we are in a great place. No resentment to spouse as we decided to stop together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B-ish. Try not to sit at home as much but tag along with the fun older kid stuff with baby in tow. Agree with PP, had a 4th, love them more than the 3rd. Not the child themselves, but their fit in the family, etc. 3rd almost broke us but so glad we had another to complete the fam.

This is us, too. The 4th is a joy and changed the family dynamic in a great way.

So what you’re saying is the 3rd is a bad idea and usually kinda sucks but is necessary to get to the 4th kid who restores equilibrium and makes family life tolerable again.

I guess this is true for someone but definitely not me. My third is a lovely baby, fit into the family perfectly, and completes us. I am at my max for sure in handling clothes, activities, attention, discipline, etc. Another kid would be too many.

Anonymous wrote:I’m in awe of any parent who can manage more than one. I feel stressed with one, wish I had more downtime etc.

Yes. When you have three kids, you lose any downte you once had. It’s kind of like going on a diet where you stop eating sugar. A first it seems impossible, then you don’t even really notice or think about it anymore. It’s just not part of your life .

I’m in awe of any parent who can manage more than one. I feel stressed with one, wish I had more downtime etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B-ish. Try not to sit at home as much but tag along with the fun older kid stuff with baby in tow. Agree with PP, had a 4th, love them more than the 3rd. Not the child themselves, but their fit in the family, etc. 3rd almost broke us but so glad we had another to complete the fam.

This is us, too. The 4th is a joy and changed the family dynamic in a great way.

So what you’re saying is the 3rd is a bad idea and usually kinda sucks but is necessary to get to the 4th kid who restores equilibrium and makes family life tolerable again.

Anonymous wrote:B-ish. Try not to sit at home as much but tag along with the fun older kid stuff with baby in tow. Agree with PP, had a 4th, love them more than the 3rd. Not the child themselves, but their fit in the family, etc. 3rd almost broke us but so glad we had another to complete the fam.

This is us, too. The 4th is a joy and changed the family dynamic in a great way.