Anonymous wrote:You were invited to the birthday party and she will see you at the birthday party. I don't think you should feel annoyed. This was the plan, and I don't blame her for not wanting her child to be overly exhausted at this party that she is so excited about.

+1. Plus, you DID get to see the cousin outside of party hours. You seem annoyed that this visit was down to (in your mind) "SIL wanting to get party stuff done that morning." Like...of course she would, and what does it matter what the motives are? Kids got to see each other. Whenever I get a two birds with one stone opportunity, like my kid gets to be with cousins while I get some time to set up a pinata, I take it.

I get the sense that you do value the kids getting to spend time together, but you don't like SIL all that much...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't drive 5+ hours without having a very firm lay of the land of what I'm getting into.

Why did you not pick up the phone and plan the weekend with your SIL/MIL/other players involved?

Because if I invite out of town famiily or close friends to my son’s birthday party and they accept, I’d 100 percent assume I’d be seeing/hosting them all week. If I invited my in laws to a Saturday birthday and they came in Friday at noon, I might not know exactly what are plans are on Friday and Sunday, but I’d certainly know I’d be spending time with them those days, in addition to seeing them at the party.

Isn't that great for you and your assumptions about your own life?

Clearly, as evidenced by this very thread and by your SIL's responses, that's not what everyone assumes.

Next time, pick up the phone and sketch out plans for your trip. The only assumption you should have made was that you'd be entertained at a party for 3 hours and handed a piece of cake.