Anonymous wrote:Send your regrets and bring the friend the gift later.

Exactly.

Showers can be expensive, but the only time I split the costs was for a co-ed wedding shower. It was a destination wedding and the shower turned into the local wedding with 50+ guests. There was entertainment, food, the costs of renting the hall, catering. It was expensive so all the bridesmaids and groomsmen chipped in.

I would only asks co-hosts to pay.

A 70 person shower is ridiculous. And you shouldn't be paying for your own shower. Your host(s) should tell you how many guests they can accommodate. You invite accordingly.