Anonymous
Post 06/20/2019 06:52     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.


Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.


You're going to regret that. DH and I dated for 5 years. If neither of our parents let us bring the other on vacation, we wouldn't have gone. We dated from 21-26 and I'm grateful my parents accepted my boyfriend. That way once grandkids came along at 30, we invited grandparents on our vacation. I have friends who weren't allowed and whose future MILs wouldn't even meet them for lunch, dinner or vacations. Those MILs got cut off when their sons got married.


“If I can’t bring my boyfriend I’m not coming!” Guess whose ass would HAPPILY have been left at home in my family...


Seriously. Although, I can't imagine tagging along on family vacations at age 26 anyway.
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2019 06:37     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.


Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.


You're going to regret that. DH and I dated for 5 years. If neither of our parents let us bring the other on vacation, we wouldn't have gone. We dated from 21-26 and I'm grateful my parents accepted my boyfriend. That way once grandkids came along at 30, we invited grandparents on our vacation. I have friends who weren't allowed and whose future MILs wouldn't even meet them for lunch, dinner or vacations. Those MILs got cut off when their sons got married.


“If I can’t bring my boyfriend I’m not coming!” Guess whose ass would HAPPILY have been left at home in my family...
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2019 06:36     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
NOPE. When our son got this age he started being allowed to bring a friend but never a girlfriend. Wayyyy too much togetherness and honestly, I felt like he wouldn’t enjoy the trip as much having to be “on” for the girlfriend of the moment.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 20:40     Subject: Re:Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:
No ring, no bring


+1 and when it’s family photo time you’re the lucky photographer
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 20:08     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
No. Just let it fizzle out.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 18:52     Subject: Re:Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen

No ring, no bring
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 18:43     Subject: Re:Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
It’s fine. Just tell her you will bang on the wall if she’s a screamer in bed.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 18:33     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
I would depending on my kid and the significant other. Good kid? Kind? Healthy relationship? Yes.

Toxic or controlling? No.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 18:19     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
My sons are 20 and 18 and I would never in a million years allow this.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 18:17     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.


Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.


You're going to regret that. DH and I dated for 5 years. If neither of our parents let us bring the other on vacation, we wouldn't have gone. We dated from 21-26 and I'm grateful my parents accepted my boyfriend. That way once grandkids came along at 30, we invited grandparents on our vacation. I have friends who weren't allowed and whose future MILs wouldn't even meet them for lunch, dinner or vacations. Those MILs got cut off when their sons got married.


21-26 years old? Not the same.


+1 Not even close, and not inviting him on vacation is not the same thing as "not accepting" him.


That 2nd pp said when "you're engaged" you can bring the person. That's extreme. I wouldn't have gone on vacations with either set of parents for a decade before we married if they didn't let me bring my future DH.


I vacationed without my boyfriend and with my parents in my early twenties. Not an issue at all. He still joined my family for holidays, he still felt accepted. We took vacations together. But I knew my parents wouldn’t extend a vacation invite until we got engaged, and respected that.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 16:12     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.


Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.


You're going to regret that. DH and I dated for 5 years. If neither of our parents let us bring the other on vacation, we wouldn't have gone. We dated from 21-26 and I'm grateful my parents accepted my boyfriend. That way once grandkids came along at 30, we invited grandparents on our vacation. I have friends who weren't allowed and whose future MILs wouldn't even meet them for lunch, dinner or vacations. Those MILs got cut off when their sons got married.


21-26 years old? Not the same.


+1 Not even close, and not inviting him on vacation is not the same thing as "not accepting" him.


That 2nd pp said when "you're engaged" you can bring the person. That's extreme. I wouldn't have gone on vacations with either set of parents for a decade before we married if they didn't let me bring my future DH.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 16:00     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
No Op. There is no reason this needs to be a thing. So no.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 15:57     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many of you naysayers don't have 17 year olds? Let alone 17 year olds in long-term, healthy relationships? I would have said no once upon a time too, but now that I have a 17 year old, I would say yes if: the boyfriend/girlfriend's parents agreed, and there were separate sleeping arrangements. They might be having sex (probably are - I was 17 once too!), but I am not going to make it easy for them, give permission, and, they have to much respect for us to do it under our noses anyway.


Two of my kids have passed the age of 17. For us, vacations are family time. When you're engaged, you can bring the person.


You're going to regret that. DH and I dated for 5 years. If neither of our parents let us bring the other on vacation, we wouldn't have gone. We dated from 21-26 and I'm grateful my parents accepted my boyfriend. That way once grandkids came along at 30, we invited grandparents on our vacation. I have friends who weren't allowed and whose future MILs wouldn't even meet them for lunch, dinner or vacations. Those MILs got cut off when their sons got married.


21-26 years old? Not the same.


+1 Not even close, and not inviting him on vacation is not the same thing as "not accepting" him.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 13:29     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would do it. Why not? I assume they're already having sex, right? What's the difference between them having sex at home and having it on vacation?


DP The difference is they aren't doing it in the room next to you.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2019 13:28     Subject: Taking boyfriend on summer vacation for teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. If she’s an only, she can bring a friend, otherwise family vacation is family time.

That isn't OP's stance. Other friends have come on vacation.


DP Boyfriends seem different don't you think? I wouldn't allow it personally.