OP, I feel you, could have written your post. 10 years in I'm over it and often resentful. Can't offer any advice I'm just dealing with it day to day.

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this. And I know he's resentful of me for reminding him but SHEESH we both work, we try to share all the household duties and kid prep. BUT I know on the days where he does dropoff and/or pickup, he'll forget stuff they need for daycare or forget to bring it home. He'll load the dishwasher and not run it, put clothes in the washer and forget to move them to the dryer. Asks me one million times where soccer practice and games are even though he gets the same communications I do but his inbox is so overflowing he won't see them. I could go on. These things really chip away and the day-to-day and he does acknowledge it, does apologize, but it doesn't change. I know I could let some of these things go (and I do a lot of the time) but ultimately I can't live my life the way I want to and that makes me feel restricted and controlled.

I could have written this AND the original post. It really is wearing. I can’t say anything about any of it because then I get accused of nagging or I get the lecture about not keeping score. I’m not perfect and don’t expect perfection but there are a few small things he does that really grate me and I feel like it’s totally disrespectful for him to consistently ignore my feelings about said things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:thats normal husband shit

We had donuts with dad this morning so my husband took my DD to daycare. He ran out of gas on the way there.... 3 minutes away. wtf

I seriously laughed out loud when I read this. I'm one of the complainers on this thread and it made me realize that the one thing my husband is always on top of is gas in the cars. He actually gets on me about letting it get too low. But he's definitely guilty of the rest of the "normal husband shit"

I can relate, my husband has run out of gas so many times and I don't understand it. I have never. He ran out picking the kids up from daycare not long ago and called me to go get the gas can from the house on my way home from work and bring him gas. I did that, then he yelled at me for taking too long and leaving them in a hot car. I can't even say what I wanted to do after an hour long commute home and getting a gas can from the house, getting gas and bringing it to him, to be screamed and cursed at in front of my kids for "taking too long". I know all to well I made a poor choice in a father and spouse. I thought he was a totally different person when we married, and refused to have a second kid with him, but had an oops baby after being told I could not conceive again without IVF. I seriously considered abortion without telling him but couldn't do it, but I had my tubes tied during the c section for my second and told the doctor to cauterize the ends to make sure another pregnancy could not happen. I am planning my exit, but staying while the kids are young because I fear for their safety when Dad would have custody without me and I know he would get 50/50 even though there is DV involved. Once you have kids with someone, it is practically a life sentence.

You sound awful, OP. I honestly can’t imagine anyone who’d enjoy being married to you unless you are exceptionally talented in the bedroom. Because I can guarantee you have at least two dozen habits every bit as annoying as those you rattled off to the world here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mail arrived. Doctor misbilled insurance for his doctor visit. Guess who gets to fix it? Ugh.

count beans much?

Yes, after 10 years, it’s at about 10,000.

Anonymous wrote:Mail arrived. Doctor misbilled insurance for his doctor visit. Guess who gets to fix it? Ugh.

count beans much?

Mail arrived. Doctor misbilled insurance for his doctor visit. Guess who gets to fix it? Ugh.

You’re annoying too! Seriously. -signed a wife with a husband who complains about everyday nonsense

Anonymous wrote:His behavior obvious isn’t new so why didn’t you nip it in the bud?

It got worse as he got older and we had kids. He doesn’t do the finances or any of he mental load. I guess I’ll just focus on him being a loving (if not irresponsible) dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who gives a F if his shoes aren’t “put away”? Get over yourself.

I care. Just like he cares that the dishwasher is loaded JUST.SO. So, he puts his shoes away, I load the dishwasher just so.
And yes, I care that he doesn't put his glass in the dishwasher but leaves it on the counter. And he cares that I don't run the water when I brush my teeth. So, he puts his glass IN the dishwasher instead of the sink, and I don't run the water when I brush my teeth.
And I care that the toilet seat and cover are put down every time, and he cares that I don't mix colors and whites when I do the laundry. So he puts the lid down and I do try to do separate loads.

The point is we try to do for each other. It isn't the size of the offence. It is the respect it conveys.

Yes, I feel disrespected.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just so tired of the small things that really wear me down. He is a great dad and a good person, but seriously, it's the constant nonsense, like leaving his empty glasses on top of the dishwasher, washing the dishes and not cleaning anything else and calling the kitchen clean, forgetting to make sure our seven year old has his retainer in before bed, leaving groceries on every counters (never IN the cabinets), leaving his shoes just outside of where there are to be put away, never thinking through anything complicated to make sure we have all the pieces figured out, not putting things on the calendar, and not passing along important information, like the opportunity to increase life insurance at work (and now that opportunity is gone for the foreseeable future). We both work and I don't have time for a third child. I'm really starting to resent him, particularly since he NEVER apologizes.

LOL sounds like you were counting on that.

I want to make sure our children are protected in the event of the worse. Is that bad?

His behavior obvious isn’t new so why didn’t you nip it in the bud?

Anonymous wrote:thats normal husband shit

We had donuts with dad this morning so my husband took my DD to daycare. He ran out of gas on the way there.... 3 minutes away. wtf

Agreed, what you are describing is marriage as it has been through the ages. My DH still throws soaking wet clothes in the hamper. (As one example of 100)

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like an excuse to cheat. Entertain the idea at least. You only live once and what you are describing sounds like a 10 on a scale of awfulness.

Lol

Death by a thousand paper cuts.